One act plays - A One Act Play (2 Viewers)

[the_longest_day]

Death - A One Act Play

Man 1 - I'm so bummed, I'm going to poke myself with this pen...

starts poking himself with pen

Man 2 - Hey, dude, whats up, whats with the pen?

Man 1 - I'm so bummed, Elliot Smith is dead... it's so sad

Man 2 - Oh, well why don't you listen to the Red House Painters instead, they're sort of like Elliot Smith.

Man 1 - Oh yeah, Hey I don't feel so bad anymore!

 

[Psychotic no 2]

Re: Death - A One Act Play

Nice first post.

 

[SONYMEGADRIVE]

Re: Death - A One Act Play

hahaha

andrew

 

[the_longest_day]

Love - A One Act Play

Secetary 1 - Hey everyone, last night I went on a blind date, and guess what.. I'm in love!

Secetary 2 - Wow thats great news, I'm so happy for you!

A Few weeks later

Secetary 2 - Hey, whatever happend to that guy you meet on a blind date a few weeks ago

Secetary 1 - oh him.. we... eh... broke up...

Secetary 2 - oh...

 

[Stan Bowles]

Re: Love - A One Act Play

I preferred your earlier work

Secetary 1 - Hey everyone, last night I went on a blind date, and guess what.. I'm in love!

Secetary 2 - Wow thats great news, I'm so happy for you!

A Few weeks later

Secetary 2 - Hey, whatever happend to that guy you meet on a blind date a few weeks ago

Secetary 1 - oh him.. we... eh... broke up...

Secetary 2 - oh...

 

[the_longest_day]

Family - A One Act Play

Father - I am not your real father

Daughter - well I'm not your real daughter

Mother - well I'm not your real wife

Son enters, stage right

Boy - I hate you all, I wish I was never born

 

[the_longest_day]

Hate - A One Act Play

Competant Musician - Someone called Bob broke my Trumpet by accident

Lonely Musician - I don't even know Bob, or indeed you... but I hate Bob so

fade to black

Competant Musician - Hey who asked you anyhow?

 

[the_longest_day]

The Internet - A One Act Play

Person 1 - voice over...I wish they'd stop smirking at me in the office canteen, honestly thought that girl from the typing pool was hot for me at the christmas party... turns out she was distracting me.. while Dave from accounts put those tacks down my shirt... Dave... with his chin and his Chillout Ibiza CD... and his hair... now.... wheres the MP3 Half Man Half Bisucit box set I downloaded...

logs on to message aboard

Person 1 - y'know, I am in total agreement

types on keyboard

Person 1 - Maybe I will get that typing pool girl after all...

Audience - Pathos. Valdiation. At Last.

blackout

 

[snakybus]

Re: The Internet - A One Act Play

You know, I've never known what a typing pool is. Is it a big gang of typists in a pool? Don't their typewriters get rusty. And how about that paper, doesn't it get wet? Or maybe it's like a car pool. Everyone pools together and does all their typing on one typewriter.

 

[the_longest_day]

Indie - A One Act Play

Girl in bar: Hi, how are you?

Guy: uh, good... thanks..

Girl: That's a great T-shirt you have on, it's Sebadoh right?

Guy: Oh, wow.. thank you. I bought it at the SFX gig in '96 that was...

Girl: Great, great. What are you drinking?

Guy: Um, a Carlsberg.. thanks... It's funny though, because I was looking at the t-shirt and thinking that Sebadoh are sort of over, y'know the last album wasn't great, not like Bakesale and my Interpol t-shirt is there too, but you don't want to look like you just ran out and got into Interpol all in one go...heh heh heh...um... so I was thinking Pavement or something... but then I just thought what the hell I'll wea...

Girl: What was that?

Guy:

Man: what did you say you're drinking?

Guy: uh... Carlsberg..... I like Interpol too!

 

[Anne OMalley]

Re: The Internet - A One Act Play

Or maybe it's more like a Liverpool - y'know, what people with cirrhosis call a hospital.

You know, I've never known what a typing pool is. Is it a big gang of typists in a pool? Don't their typewriters get rusty. And how about that paper, doesn't it get wet? Or maybe it's like a car pool. Everyone pools together and does all their typing on one typewriter.

 

[Anne OMalley]

The Longest Day - A One Act Play

THUMPED: Hey, The Longest Day.

THE LONGEST DAY: Hey, Thumped.

THUMPED: Guess what? We've just written a new play?

THE LONGEST DAY: Um. Yeah?

THUMPED: Yeah. It's called "The Longest Day - A One Act Play"

THE LONGEST DAY: Cool!

THUMPED: Yeah.

THE LONGEST DAY: How does it go?

THUMPED: Well... it goes a bit like this...

THUMPED:

THUMPED:

THUMPED:

THUMPED:

THUMPED:

THUMPED:

THUMPED:

THUMPED:

THUMPED:

THUMPED:

 

[snakybus]

Re: The Internet - A One Act Play

Or maybe it's more like a Liverpool - y'know, what people with cirrhosis call a hospital.

or or or maybe it's like what the bass player from Primus joined a pottery class and there wasn't enough potter's clay to go round so someone said "Hey, Les (let's) Clay-pool"

 

[the_longest_day]

Sex - A One Act Play

John - Hi mother!

Mother - Hi John, how was work today?

John - yeah, fine leafs through post we're there any calls for me?

Mother - no none, oh! the funniest thing happend today!

John - really, what?

Mother - well, this person rang and asked to talk to some called Anne O'Malley

John - uh...

Mother - no wait! then another person rang looking to talk to.. Anne O'Malley

John - um mother, I should tell you

Mother - no, no, no, wait... the phone rang five times... guess who they we're all looking for...

John - you see the thing is

Mother - ANNE O'MALLEY!!! ha ha ha, isn't that strange I told your father... he agreed, very strange...

John - Mother, I am Anne O'Malley! it's a name I use when I'm on the internet

mother drops plate she has been holding

father leaps from chair and strikes John

Father - I have no son.

curtain

 

[the_longest_day]

Religion - A One Act Play

Peter - ..Thomas, John and me and you... thats it! So I booked us a back room in Café Italia... they do a great supper there

Mark - hey, maybe should we invite Judas, like he always invites us out with him

Jesus - no way, Judas is a dick.

 

[Rimbaud]

Re: Sex - A One Act Play

Ha, ha, ha!!ninjaaaa

classic stuff ......MORE, MORE!!

 

[nEiLo]

Re: Sex - A One Act Play

bravo!

a triumph!

a tour de farce!

 

[Anne OMalley]

Frustration - A One Act Play

THE LONGEST NIGHT: How come we never had children?

THE LONGEST DAY: We never wanted to.

THE LONGEST NIGHT: You never wanted to.

THE LONGEST DAY: Okay, I never wanted to.

THE LONGEST NIGHT: Why did you say "we".

THE LONGEST DAY: I meant the royal "we".

THE LONGEST NIGHT: We're going to bed.

THE LONGEST DAY: [Rises from his chair.]

THE LONGEST NIGHT: The royal we. You're on the couch.

THE LONGEST DAY: Curses.

 

[ann post]

Re: Frustration - A One Act Play

anyone see the documntry on cloning on tg4 lastnight,

yer one was mental.

 

[rumpus]

Thumped- A One Act Play

Int. Office. Mid afternoon. Faint moaning, tortured sound in background.

Prick- Prick
Other Prick - Prick

fade out