You raised me from a tiny amoeba in a petri dish in your dank and disgusting back garden shed. You left me and fled to somewhere east - for research and beer. When you came back I was a furry ball covered in slime. What possessed you to fuse those potato man toy features on to this furry ball. And then you caused a blackout in the town after you pumped megawatts of electricity in to me - to bring me to life. To rotting, horrid life. Of course I fled. You were too religious.
And now I am back with a wife - albeit a dead one and wife to another. I am lost and you won't accept me to your bosom. I need toes and fingers.