The Burds and the Bees (1 Viewer)

[magicbastarder]

my dad asked me when i was about 8 if i wanted to know where babies came from. i replied "it's alright, i'll look it up in the encyclopaedia".

 

[Super Dexta]

My ma sat me down with a book when I was about 2 or 3.. as in it was so early that I can't remember it and I don't remember a time when I didn't know about the birds and the bees.

 

[Diddles]

About 12 or so, walking in the park.

Ma: "I don't feel great today, I have my periods. You know what periods are, don't you?"
Me. "Yes"
Ma: "Grand so"

FIN

 

[ravishinrikrude]

I never recieved sex education by parents or primary/secondary school. My earliest encounter of a vagina was in the bushes during what must have been the end of a 'lets climb that tree' session and a game of nervous ensued which was followed by I'll show you mine if you show me yours sort of thing. If I was to guess I would say this was around 1995.

Would I have benefited by recieving a book about female arousal versus male arousal and other such things? Definitely not. Would some other poor girls I fingered for the first few times? Definitely. We've all heard the just get your finger in and go in and out as fast as you can technique which was perhaps followed by smell my fingers 'boyaz'. The recieving end of a dodgey wank under a pair of unopened XWORX jeans wasn't nice either.

Thats my 2 eurits on it anyway.

was it emma markee and were you wearing roller blades at the time? i think i've had the same encounter!

 

[minka]

i think this conversation happened when i was about 5:

mum: *puts away laundry*
me: mum, you know the way minkasibling grew in your tummy?
mum: yeees?
me: ...and she grew from an egg that was in your tummy already?
mum: yeeees?
me: how come she has the same colour hair as dad?
mum: well, daddies have a special kind of seed...
me: HOW DID IT GET IN THERE?

in fairness to my mum, she told me in a quick, factual way, i went "oh, right", filed it away mentally under "grown up weirdness", and got on with my lego or whatever. when everyone was getting all "do you know the facts of life yet? i bet you don't, you're such a baby" in school a few years later, i was "oh yeah, i've known that for ages, what's so funny about it?".

 

[minka]

..also, minkamum's sang-froid is as nothing compared with my dad's when faced with minkasibling's "dad? is it not really weird having to do sexual intercourse?".

 

[rettucs]

the street taught me

 

[Space]

I'm still waiting for my "talk".

Same here.

 

[classic seanc]

I'm still waiting for my "talk".

Same here.

Is that some sort of Donegal thing??

Anyway lads, listen up.
Sometimes, when a man and a woman love each other very much....

 

[Space]

Is that some sort of Donegal thing??

Anyway lads, listen up.
Sometimes, when a man and a woman love each other very much....

It's alright boss I've since figured it out(looked it up on the web).

 

[classic seanc]

The South Park Lord of The Rings/Facts of Life episode made me laugh very much.


Da SP LOTR FoL ep woz max LOLZ!

 

[Squiggle]

Growing up on a farm was great for the old sex ed. Think I was about 3 when I asked my Dad what that cow was doing trying to get a piggy back from the other one. He explained it all very scientifically and told me that all animals procreate in a similar manner, including people.

I believed for quite a while that the old blow job involved furiously blowing air around the penis. Genuinely.

You mean it doesn't? Guess it can't all be learned from animal behaviour then.

 

[therealjohnny]

Second time posting this today...should be mandatory reading for prepubescent boys and lesbians

 

[HMD]

i never got the talk, just the videos

 

[Pantone247]

text SEXED to 55353

"son, lets watch a porno together"

 

[Catwoman]

I kept asking my mum if I could have some chewing gum out of the machines in the ladies toilets. 'That's not chewing gum' she said. 'What's in there then?' I said. 'I'll tell you later' she said. After five minutes of 'Tell me now! Tell me now!' She said 'When you get older you bleed out of your front bottom and what's in those machines stop your knickers getting messy'.

The horror, the horror.

Shortly after I was given a book with cartoon people shagging. I was disgusted and glad I was adopted cos that way I knew my parents didn't do that. Ugh.

 

[therealjohnny]

i never got the talk, just the videos

"I'll do you, then you can do me"

 

[wild_cat]

My ma has never ever ever mentioned the word sex to me ever. She gave me this shite book something like that girl talk book. I already knew most of the shite that it bullshitted on about, but the pictures of the hairy guy in the shower made me feel slightly sick at the time.


So I took the book, ripped it to shreds and burned it in a pillow case with this bumber varity pack of sanitry towels she bought me. I was actually disgusted by the thing.

Jesus then when she started to call periods "my friends"... Im less prude about everything now, i'd walk in and say something "hey ma ya wouldnt go into town and get my pill for me now" and she'd do that no bother.

I used to wonder why she was such a prude compaired to the rest of my firneds ma's, but they were all much much younger than her.

Oh she did kinda mention sex once I was talking about the old sargent from our area and she went "I dont know how his wife had the gaul to stay with him after he rode half the parish" my brothers face went so white.

 

[Vinnie]

My folks just threw me in a burning cage suspended 300 ft in the air with a load of porn stars and let me figure it out for myself.

 

[Pantone247]

my parents just gave me a copy of this