The Burds and the Bees (7 Viewers)

[nlgbbbblth]

a book when I was 10.

any questions?

no.

 

[MDR]

Wedding night. Flip Chart. Prompt cards.

 

[muffin]

i remember girls in my class reading the dirty parts in forever so i asked my mam what the story was. She had a wee chat with me and then gave me a book which was super cute and which was divided into two parts.One about girls bodies and one about sex. we also had a 6 week from a nurse in 6th class but I was outsick the day she talked about sex..

then when i was in 1st year we had a woman come in and talk to us about tampons.I think she may have worked for tampax because she gave them out for free..she also scared the life out of 100 12 year old girls by talking about Toxic Shock Syndrome..

 

[MDR]

I remember seeing an episode of Roseanne about periods and was genuinely confused.

 

[ernesto]

6th class. aged 12. A Male Sex-Ed takes questions from us bout sex stuff. so a classmate asks... 'so is it true that vaginas taste of fish?'

nice one Tom. good lad. way to make us cringe. and our female teacher.

 

[MDR]

I remember asking the opposite question when i first tasted fish.

 

[ernesto]

I remember asking the opposite question when i first tasted fish.

red snapper?

 

[MDR]

John Dory

 

[theweeyin]

I asked when I was 9. Mum was pregnant with my brother at the time and I wanted to get it out of the way before she had the chance to sit me down herself - always dreaded 'the talk'. I can't remember most of it so I think I must have mentally blocked it out.
In school they separated the boys and the girls and gave us separate 'putting johnnys on cucumber' sessions. The nurse very practically told us that if any boys told us they were too big to fit into a johnny they were most definitely lying and then went on to stretch it out as far as she could. IMPRESSIVE. I do remember thinking it was weird that the johnnys she gave us were blue...

 

[ernesto]

I asked when I was 9. Mum was pregnant with my brother at the time and I wanted to get it out of the way before she had the chance to sit me down herself - always dreaded 'the talk'. I can't remember most of it so I think I must have mentally blocked it out.
In school they separated the boys and the girls and gave us separate 'putting johnnys on cucumber' sessions. The nurse very practically told us that if any boys told us they were too big to fit into a johnny they were most definitely lying and then went on to stretch it out as far as she could. IMPRESSIVE. I do remember thinking it was weird that the johnnys she gave us were blue...

would you have preferred a mauve or burgundy colour?

 

[MDR]

separate 'putting johnnys on cucumber' sessions.

We had those too. They put the johnny on the cucumber and then you sit on it and say 'thank you sir' . . . or maybe that was just my school.

 

[theweeyin]

would you have preferred a mauve or burgundy colour?

Just the normal colour probably wouldnt have worried me so much...

 

[Super Dexta]

we put condoms on test tubes in my school. slithery.

 

[Diddles]

We never had any of that kind of talk in school. We did have a woman from Clairol or something come in to talk to us about hair care though. We got free shampoo.

 

[killy kill]

We got bibles off those lads who supply hotels when we wewre 14. You know where you are with that

 

[jane]

We had a guy from Dow Chemicals come and talk to us about the importance of environmental responsibility and recycling. He did not mention the Bhopal Disaster.

Maybe it was sort of "It's your responsibility to look after the environment -- not ours!"

My birds and bees talk was from my brother and his slightly older friend. They cornered me when I was four and I told me where babies came from, freaked the shit out of me. My mom could hear it from the kitchen and she just figured, "Eh, she had to find out sometime." But I was pretty disgusted.

My best friend's mom had a new baby, and so, armed with my new and horrible information, I asked my friend, "Guess where Alice came from?"

She said, "Oh, I already know that." And proceeded to rattle off something about the stork.

I told her what I'd heard and she said, "No, that can't be true. I have a new baby sister and if my parents did that to make her, I would know. I've never seen them doing it."

Made sense to me, and I was looking for someone to tell me it had all been a horrible lie. So I went and asked my mom where babies came from, and she said, "I thought Mike and David told you already?"

"But the told me the gross way. Will you tell me the nice way?" So she told me about the cabbage patch, and I was much happier.

 

[Thebeard]

6th class. aged 12. A Male Sex-Ed takes questions from us bout sex stuff. so a classmate asks... 'so is it true that vaginas taste of fish?'

nice one Tom. good lad. way to make us cringe. and our female teacher.

Ah yeah that was such a good day. Tom made our teacher so embarrassed she had to leave. It started with the sex man asking us to shout out any dirty words we knew, so we bombarded him with the usual 69, fuck, shag, anal, colon sex you know the usual. He then wrote all these on the black board and proceeded to explain them one by one. Good times.

 

[Denny Oubidoux]

there was none of that in my day

 

[Doctor Muscles]

Age 12:

Mother: Do you know about sex?

Self: YES!

Mother: okay.

Ages later I found this very book lying around. Thanked God I didn't have to go through it then.



In science, about second year, we were told to write down any questions about the act and put them into a box anonymously. Being a hilarious bastard I put down a "does size matter?" type question looking to get a laugh. Backfired terribley when some funnier bastard had his "Up the bum no harm done?" question read out first. After the class had dried their tears and mine was read out it just looked serious and pathetic. "the size of the penis is no barrier to reproduction". To those who had seen me write the question I was all "seriously lads, my mickey's huge".

 

[magicbastarder]

I remember seeing an episode of Roseanne about periods and was genuinely confused.

darlene is acting all funny and when they ask her about it, she throws a strop and shouts "alright, i had my period!" and storms out of the room?