why are there so many threads started by men on thumped about how shit women are? (1 Viewer)

[jane]

In other news, I posted on the No Way, Referee! forum a bit during the World Cup. It was fine.

Yes, but that doesn't mean it's necessarily woman-friendly. Did you try to post about women's sports? I once did. Bad idea.

 

[Bellatrix]

Yes, but that doesn't mean it's necessarily woman-friendly. Did you try to post about women's sports? I once did. Bad idea.

Really? Pricks.

I think I posted about tennis at some stage. I wouldn't have noticed any hostility because I mostly use No Way, Referee! as a Wet Room.

 

[BC]

There are very few gay people on Thumped (or at least very few people who are out in the Thumped context), and a lot of casual homophobia. I don't know if the two are connected, but I find a lot of the casual homophobia a real problem, and I know I'm not alone. It makes me uncomfortable, so I can't imagine how it would make a queer person feel. Or a straight guy who can't 'take it'. Because if a dude is 'oversensitive' about being jokingly called a 'faggot', then he is obviously under suspicion of being A GAY.

here here. i have gay friends who have been attacked, insulted and assaulted for their sexuality, so i have a serious issue with homophobia. the way the word "faggot" is thrown about makes me quite angry, and as i have said before, i see no difference between the intention and use of that word as i do with the word "nigger". both have been, and are, used to harm. the straight man who calls someone a "faggot" is exactly the same as the white man who calls someone a "nigger".

maybe i'm just a big-girls blouse, but i would rather be that than a pathetic, insecure, macho idiot who finds amusement in sneering at, insulting and lazily attempting to "shock" or upset people.

 

[Janer]

These threads always end up the same way......
The women on these boards are just so......defensive with their agressiveness or should that be so aggresive with their defensiveness

 

[jane]

These threads always end up the same way......
The women on these boards are just so......defensive with their agressiveness or should that be so aggresive with their defensiveness

Where are 'the women on these boards' being aggressive? Or is it that anything that doesn't speak directly to your experience of the world something that qualifies as aggressive or a threat?

Typical.

1. Make statement that could be regarded as feminist.
2. Be asked to explain, qualify, justify, prove you do not blame all men everywhere.
3. Try to ignore jokey 'ironic sexism', fail.
4. Be met with assumption that you said something you didn't. Be asked to justify what you said again.
5. Be told you are going on for too long and no one can be bothered to read the post that, if you hadn't posted in full, you would have been hauled up for anyway because your point was 'unsubstantiated'.
6. Try very hard not to lose the rag.
7. Be met with assumptions that because Woman X said something and does/doesn't consider herself a feminist, that undermines all of gender equality.

[intermission: more jokey sexism]

8. Further comments regarding 'what women do'. Try extremely hard to maintain some level of cool.
9. Be told you are 'aggressive' and 'defensive' anyway.

Oh, what the hell:

Fuck you, Janer.

 

[Squiggle]

These threads always end up the same way......
The women on these boards are just so......defensive with their agressiveness or should that be so aggresive with their defensiveness

The latter sounds better. And I think this thread was generally fairly positive.

However, that anyone on Thumped feels forced to become defensive isn't a sign of a healthy community.

 

[muffin]

i want to be just like jane when i grow up..she's so eloquent and smart..
i :heart: her..in a feministy type of way..

 

[BC]

These threads always end up the same way......
The women on these boards are just so......defensive with their agressiveness or should that be so aggresive with their defensiveness

for fucks sake, do you think they dont have good reason to be outspoken? women still have to put up with so much sleaziness, dismissal, objectification and prejudice from certain men in even the most mundane circumstances, should they just put up with it? even on the internet? fuck that. even if some miserable little cretin hiding behind a contrived user-name tries to pass off his bigotry as humour, its propigating the same ignorant bullshit that women never deserve to be subjected to.

 

[jane]

here here. i have gay friends who have been attacked, insulted and assaulted for their sexuality, so i have a serious issue with homophobia. the way the word "faggot" is thrown about makes me quite angry, and as i have said before, i see no difference between the intention and use of that word as i do with the word "nigger". both have been, and are, used to harm. the straight man who calls someone a "faggot" is exactly the same as the white man who calls someone a "nigger".

maybe i'm just a big-girls blouse, but i would rather be that than a pathetic, insecure, macho idiot who finds amusement in sneering at, insulting and lazily attempting to "shock" or upset people.

Me, too.

I also sort of wonder if it isn't somehow 'safer' for a straight woman to be seen as challenging homophobia than a straight man. As in, it might be one of those environments where a straight woman is less likely to feel constrained by gender expectations. But I dunno. I'm just making an assumption, based on imaginary conversations, so I can't say anything concrete. I'm not saying women are more likely to be in favour of it, but that it's maybe more easily incorporated into feminist discourse...

I have the utmost respect for a dude who isn't under any societal obligation (well, you know what I mean -- who could easily sink into white, male, hetero-privilege and not even think about the rest of things) to challenge homophobia or sexism, chooses to do so. Because it's tough enough for a chick to do it, but a different sort of challenge for a dude. Risking being seen as a big girl's blouse is at least as much of a risk as being seen as a bearded lesbian. Like you, though, I'd rather someone assume I was a lesbian than assume I tolerate or support homophobia.

 

[BC]

although someone derepped me saying 'grow up'.

an amusing thing i have found about these anonymous de-reppers is that they really only do it to people who aren't subscribers. it proves as always that behind these sad bullies and their impotent posturing lies nothing more than cowardace.

 

[Janer]

Another thing I noticed is that the girls always back each other up to the hilt but the blokes don't..........
Brian wtf are u on about?? The women on these boards are well capable of looking after themselves and they seem as tough as nuts to me, only reason why I jest with 'em at times is to see this

 

[Janer]

an amusing thing i have found about these anonymous de-reppers is that they really only do it to people who aren't subscribers. it proves as always that behind these sad bullies and their impotent posturing lies nothing more than cowardace.

I have derepped everyone wether subscriber or not and I leave my name.......

Come out with some names too instead of using inuendos or whatnot.....you appear to be bitching more then the bitches

 

[Janer]

Me, too.

I also sort of wonder if it isn't somehow 'safer' for a straight woman to be seen as challenging homophobia than a straight man. As in, it might be one of those environments where a straight woman is less likely to feel constrained by gender expectations. But I dunno. I'm just making an assumption, based on imaginary conversations, so I can't say anything concrete. I'm not saying women are more likely to be in favour of it, but that it's maybe more easily incorporated into feminist discourse...

I have the utmost respect for a dude who isn't under any societal obligation (well, you know what I mean -- who could easily sink into white, male, hetero-privilege and not even think about the rest of things) to challenge homophobia or sexism, chooses to do so. Because it's tough enough for a chick to do it, but a different sort of challenge for a dude. Risking being seen as a big girl's blouse is at least as much of a risk as being seen as a bearded lesbian. Like you, though, I'd rather someone assume I was a lesbian than assume I tolerate or support homophobia.

WTF are u on, feminist crack cocaine?

 

[BC]

Risking being seen as a big girl's blouse is at least as much of a risk as being seen as a bearded lesbian. Like you, though, I'd rather someone assume I was a lesbian than assume I tolerate or support homophobia.

as a bearded lesbian, i have to say that life in general is a hell of a lot brighter and more rewarding if one treats people with respect.

 

[BC]

Another thing I noticed is that the girls always back each other up to the hilt but the blokes don't..........
Brian wtf are u on about?? The women on these boards are well capable of looking after themselves and they seem as tough as nuts to me, only reason why I jest with 'em at times is to see this

to be frank, your "jesting" with the women on here is extremely tedious. it would do you a lot of good to give it a rest.

 

[BC]

I have derepped everyone wether subscriber or not and I leave my name.......

nah, i'm talking about the arseholes who dont have the guts to leave their name when de-repping non-subscribers, without good reason.

 

[jane]

Another thing I noticed is that the girls always back each other up to the hilt but the blokes don't..........
Brian wtf are u on about?? The women on these boards are well capable of looking after themselves and they seem as tough as nuts to me, only reason why I jest with 'em at times is to see this

Fuck you, JANER. So we're tough as nuts, and therefore, instead of having any respect for women, you just think, "GReat, she's tough, I can be even more insulting! Whoopeee! Fun for me!" Brian isn't trying to protect the women, Janer, he actually respects women. Seriously. You should try it. The more you respect people, the more rewarding life is. As he points out, it's far more rewarding for him to treat people with humanity. Respect breeds more respect, humanity more humanity. It's a win-win situation.

Maybe there seems to be less consensus among the male posters is less to do with them, and more to do with the idea that when posting things in relation to feminist issues, many of the female posters on here who choose to participate in those discussions (note that I did not say 'the girls on here') will be careful to post mostly things that they can substantiate. Because they can be substantiated, they tend to be part of arguments that other women who are either feminists or sympathetic to feminism have either heard, or which make sense to them, and therefore receive positive responses from other women. Not because the women are 'better' or have some sort of secret underground conspiracy to back each other up, but because, in a very general sense, women are more likely to be asked to justify or explain statements, whereas men are less likely to be asked to do this.

One thing I noticed was that I personally don't always respond to the sympathetic or positive things that some of the male posters end up saying on these threads (see Corey's posts) but actually, I end up spending so much time fielding pointless criticism about things I never said that there just isn't time.

I don't know why I'm even responding to your comment as if it shoudl be taken seriously. I'm either dumb and self-destructive or I'm too fucking stubborn to really let go of the idea that deep down, somewhere, all people are good, and have the capacity to treat others with respect, if only they are treated with respect. So I guess what I'm really saying is this:

One thing that I do feel confident in saying, and that is self-explanatory is: FUCK YOU, JANER.

 

[Janer]

to be frank, your "jesting" with the women on here is extremely tedious. it would do you a lot of good to give it a rest.

But ur defending of them too is tedious.....they want to be treated as equal they should go along with the normal run o' the mill jokes that the blokes do/
bla bla

 

[Janer]

Fuck you, JANER. So we're tough as nuts, and therefore, instead of having any respect for women, you just think, "GReat, she's tough, I can be even more insulting! Whoopeee! Fun for me!" Brian isn't trying to protect the women, Janer, he actually respects women. Seriously. You should try it.

Maybe there seems to be less consensus among the male posters is less to do with them, and more to do with the idea that when posting things in relation to feminist issues, many of the female posters on here who choose to participate in those discussions (note that I did not say 'the girls on here') will be careful to post mostly things that they can substantiate. Because they can be substantiated, they tend to be part of arguments that other women who are either feminists or sympathetic to feminism have either heard, or which make sense to them, and therefore receive positive responses from other women. Not because the women are 'better' or have some sort of secret underground conspiracy to back each other up, but because, in a very general sense, women are more likely to be asked to justify or explain statements, whereas men are less likely to be asked to do this.

One thing I noticed was that I personally don't always respond to the sympathetic or positive things that some of the male posters end up saying on these threads (see Corey's posts) but actually, I end up spending so much time fielding pointless criticism about things I never said that there just isn't time.

One thing that I do feel confident in saying, and that is self-explanatory is: FUCK YOU, JANER.

I don't read your posts once they start rambling on.....try a reply with 10 words or less.....think of the workload you give my brain !bing

 

[BC]

But ur defending of them too is tedious.....they want to be treated as equal they should go along with the normal run o' the mill jokes that the blokes do/
bla bla

yeah, they want to be equal so they should play by men's rules:
once again, to be frank, that is an incredibly stupid thing to say.