why are there so many threads started by men on thumped about how shit women are? (3 Viewers)

[snakybus]

actually I just read the earlier part of this thread and that's fucking boring too!

you guys need to try harder

 

[egg_]

anyway, can someone please summarise this thread for me?

"Thinking you're sound doesn't mean you are sound"
Then we argued about whether certain things were kind or mean or neutral

 

[rampz]

I often tell people I "cried like a girl" at my own wedding. Am I a bad person?

no, youre just a faggot.

 

[pete]

no, youre just a faggot.

are you being:

a. funny
b. mean
c. both

 

[Space]

I bet they don't allow any sorta sexism on boards.ie

 

[rampz]

are you being:

a. funny
b. mean
c. both

are you going to cry? crybaby.

btw pete, if you cry at my wedding, youre out!

 

[pete]

are you going to cry? crybaby.

btw pete, if you cry at my wedding, youre out!

i'll be crying for your poor oppressed bride.

 

[rampz]

i'll be crying for your poor oppressed bride.

dont cry for me, im already dead.

 

[It Will Never Last]

dont cry for me, im already dead.

RIP.

 

[Corey]

Death is oppressive.

Down with death.

 

[Bellatrix]

Response of mods to homophobia and accusations thereof: high amusement.

Response of mods to references to MCD: total humourlessness.

 

[ernesto]

Death is oppressive.

Down with death.

fucking pro-lifers.

 

[jane]

I don't really want to get involved in this thread, but I just want to pick you up on this Jane - I realise this point is probably self-evident to you, but I'd like you to explain it a bit because it doesn't ring true for me.

Here's a very trivial example - Mrs. egg_ went through a stage of nudging me with her elbow in the mornings when the alarm went off. Now I'm a very emotionally controlled person but that doesn't mean that my emotions are any less powerful than anyone else's, so instead of roaring "NUDGE ME AGAIN AND I'LL STRANGLE YOU" I said "please don't nudge me dear". Took a little longer to get through to her, but it worked, and me taking responsibility for controlling my own emotions rather than displaying them and claiming that her (and Isabelle) getting upset about me scaring everyone first thing in the morning was her problem seemed like a better way to carry on.

Now, maybe you disagree, if so then I'd like to hear your case

That's not what I meant, but since everything I write seems to be met with suspicion, I'm just going to stay away from Thumped for a while. I was trying to have a conversation. Which is stupid, because this is Thumped, where people prefer to play Bill O'Reilly whenever someone's trying to be serious, and then lapse into calling each other 'faggots' because ho ho ho, that's really hilarious.

My response is that I'm really upset about the way I've been treated on this thread. But Thumped will never change, so I guess that's just my response. If a statement that "it would be better if men felt safer to display emotions", which I meant -- and perhaps should have explained, despite the fact that I'd be pissed on for writing another long post -- "display emotions before things get all pent up and turn into anger", is jumped all over, I dunno.

Because if I really meant what you seem to think I mean, it'd be excusing the "Jane doesn't know anything about anything and she is full of shit all the time everywhere" kind of crap that goes on, which I wouldn't. Instead of talking in a reasoned way, people just nit pick. If I make a specific statement, I'm nitpicking. If I make a general statement, I'm just talking out my arse. If I make a short post, I've left out crucial information. If I make a long post, it's too long. Even if I don't criticise, everything I write is read as if I've just blamed everyone here for something they didn't do. I dunno if other people feel this way or if it's just me. But someone starts a thread about why casual sexism is seen as okay, and that just because a bunch of people assume it's okay, anyone who has a problem with it can fuck themselves, and it turns into Why Jane Should Shut The Fuck Up.

Fucking hell. I don't know why I still post here. It must be some sort of twisted form of self-destruction.

 

[Bellatrix]

That's not what I meant, but since everything I write seems to be met with suspicion, I'm just going to stay away from Thumped for a while. I was trying to have a conversation. Which is stupid, because this is Thumped, where people prefer to play Bill O'Reilly whenever someone's trying to be serious, and then lapse into calling each other 'faggots' because ho ho ho, that's really hilarious.

My response is that I'm really upset about the way I've been treated on this thread. But Thumped will never change, so I guess that's just my response. If a statement that "it would be better if men felt safer to display emotions", which I meant -- and perhaps should have explained, despite the fact that I'd be pissed on for writing another long post -- "display emotions before things get all pent up and turn into anger", is jumped all over, I dunno.

Because if I really meant what you seem to think I mean, it'd be excusing the "Jane doesn't know anything about anything and she is full of shit all the time everywhere" kind of crap that goes on, which I wouldn't. Instead of talking in a reasoned way, people just nit pick. If I make a specific statement, I'm nitpicking. If I make a general statement, I'm just talking out my arse. If I make a short post, I've left out crucial information. If I make a long post, it's too long. Even if I don't criticise, everything I write is read as if I've just blamed everyone here for something they didn't do. I dunno if other people feel this way or if it's just me. But someone starts a thread about why casual sexism is seen as okay, and that just because a bunch of people assume it's okay, anyone who has a problem with it can fuck themselves, and it turns into Why Jane Should Shut The Fuck Up.

Fucking hell. I don't know why I still post here. It must be some sort of twisted form of self-destruction.

Hey Jane,

I don't think you should let this thread upset you to the point where you feel you have to leave. Raising the issue of sexism tends to inspire inexplicably aggressive responses (in both men and women), as does any discussion of feminism. You shouldn't let that stop you raising it, though, because, as you know, there are real problems that pertain to it, in every society, that have nothing to do with some sort of nebulous idea of sistahood and getting all up in mens' faces. And the more intelligent and articulate people there are who can talk about these problems while remaining patient and not reverting to bitterness and bile (as I invariably do), the better.

Kthx.

B./A.

 

[jane]

you got any brothers Jane?

I sometimes reckon you have zero understanding of men!

maybe I'm wrong though

Snaky, have I ever said anything that met your approval? It seems not. What did the last paragraph say? Hm? That obviously I can't understand what it's like to be a guy?

Fine, I have zero understanding of men. Or of people. Or of anything.

 

[Ciansy]

Hey Jane,

I don't think you should let this thread upset you to the point where you feel you have to leave. Raising the issue of sexism tends to inspire inexplicably aggressive responses (in both men and women), as does any discussion of feminism. You shouldn't let that stop you raising it, though, because, as you know, there are real problems that pertain to it, in every society, that have nothing to do with some sort of nebulous idea of sistahood and getting all up in mens' faces. And the more inteligent and articulate people there are who can talk about these problems while remaining patient and not reverting to bitterness and bile (as I invariably do), the better.

Kthx.

B./A.

Word. I don't have anything useful to add... *whistles*

 

[pete]

my 2 cents. i'm a little late to the party.

So rampz starts a thread about women taking ages to do stuff, like paying at a cash register. Eh, that's not sexism - it's an observation made by both men and women down through the ages. You may not necessarily agree with it or, like me, you may reason that you're more likely to be delayed by a woman paying for their goods than by a man because of the simple fact that women are more likely to be the ones doing the shopping (see post #15), but I just don't get what the big deal was.

About the worst thing you could call his post is a gender-based generalisation. Is that in and of itself "sexist"? I fail to see how anyone who has ever spent any time in a supermarket queue could find it discriminatory, chauvinistic, offensive, demeaning, misogynistic... If that's all it takes to get you crucified these days then there'd better be a lot more crosses ready.

Let's see.... based on my own observations, I happen to think that men drive more aggressively than women, and have also observed that women appear to be more likely drive while distracted. There - I've said it. I think both men and women occasionally do different things badly. You might as well nail me up now.

This thread was started to question "Why are there so many threads started by men on thumped about how shit women are?" which is a seriously loaded question and probably the biggest straw man that's ever appeared here.

Nobody's denying that sexism exists. Nobody's denying that sexism exists right here. Yes, it needs to be addressed. But acting like the sky is falling because someone - a man!- had the nerve to post an observation about female behaviour? Fuck that. Maybe this thread had started out with a little more perspective it'd have been treated differently? Who knows.

So then rampz calls me a "faggot". Oh boy. Sexist AND homophobic? JACKPOT! Guys - I'm not gay, and "THE F WORD" wasn't used pejoratively. Knowing rampz like I do (in a platonic, heterosexual, non-threatening way i hasten to add), I think it's safe to say he's about as homophobic as he is sexist (i.e., not at all, in case there's any confusion.) It's just a word, it was just a joke - it might not be very tasteful, but we're all adults here. Nobody died.

ps just to clarify: I'm not defending him because we're both men, or because i happen to know him, or because i hate women. i love everyone equally.

 

[Bellatrix]

"Faggot" is a disgusting and obnoxious word in any context. The idea that there's a good, non-pejorative way of using it is ludicrous. I'm not vilifying Rampz here at all. The issue is general, not specific. Still, there's no way of arguing in favour of that word that won't be based on total bullshit.

On the sexism stuff, I think if people feel uncomfortable or unhappy about something, they should be able to raise it.

No one's thinking "Jackpot", Pete.

 

[pete]

Well, the wikipedianets say:

Historically, "fag" and "faggot" have been offensive terms when addressed to American males. However in recent years, both terms have been reclaimed by gay men in a defiant, self-consciously empowering or self-mocking way, much in the way some African Americans have taken to using the word "nigger" among themselves, and similar to hackers, geeks and nerds, in their respective cultures. A common example of this would be usage of the term "fag hag" to describe a woman who associates with (and may prefer as non-sexual social partners) gay men, though this use, too, was originally pejorative. When used as a pejorative, however, it is still considered by many to be a term of abuse. The term has also been used to describe lesbians or other homosexual women.

 

[Bellatrix]

Well, the wikipedianets say:

Even if that was relevant to the current discussion, I have never known or spoken to anyone who feels that that term can be reclaimed.