What's the best rumour you've heard about yourself? (2 Viewers)

[Buzzo]

You got issues with the visually impaired aswell as black people? Dude, just coz he's blind doesn't mean he can't have a ride or deny a rumour. For shame Andrew. And, if you must know, the reason I didn't try to start a rumour about sleeping with Stevie, is because I DID, and it was precious, and I don't want to spoil the memory.

 

[krystal]

the best bit about this is we don't have patio doors.

heard that i kicked in kirstie and neil's patio doors.

 

[SONYMEGADRIVE]

the best bit about this is we don't have patio doors.

not anymore anyway! yuk yuk

 

[SONYMEGADRIVE]

You got issues with the visually impaired aswell as black people? Dude, just coz he's blind doesn't mean he can't have a ride or deny a rumour. For shame Andrew. And, if you must know, the reason I didn't try to start a rumour about sleeping with Stevie, is because I DID, and it was precious, and I don't want to spoil the memory.

best stevie wonder rumour: he's only pretending to be blind!
i want that to be true so much. scamola.

 

[krystal]

well he is KIND OF. He isn't actually totally blind, you can be registered blind if a certain portion of your sight is gone but you can still see. Some stuff. I think he's pretty bad but he's no Helen Keller.

best stevie wonder rumour: he's only pretending to be blind!
i want that to be true so much. scamola.

 

[SONYMEGADRIVE]

what's with all the smiling, clapping and head moving then???

 

[krystal]

he's just putting it on for the sympathy vote.

what's with all the smiling, clapping and head moving then???

 

[Phil]

decapitated my hand

No.

 

[Corey]

There's one about me splitting my ball sack wide open at work one night and then getting a cab to the hospital with them in my hands. Then i remember that it's actually true.
And all the memories come flooding back like your last tour of 'Nam....

 

[avernus]

Notoriously cantankerous guy I was doing some studio work for eventually (after a few months) telling me that the reason he didn't act up was that someone told him I was really violent and would kick the shit out of him if he did.

haha

 

[cassette/tape]

i heard i was pregant from my mam once.
that was kinda weird, as i'm pretty sure i wasn't; due to my teenage fumblings with teenage fumblers being just fairly damp affairs.

 

[guy of the tiger]

not exactly a rumor more of a lie and I didn't as much hear about it as invent it myself.

in 1999 I was in rural Germany working in a jam making factory for the summer. I didn't have much contact with my parents but decided to send them a postcard saying that I had been drugged and got roped into marriage with some Turkish girl and that the family were being very aggressive and wanted money and stuff and i was very scared and didn’t know what to do etc etc. ha ha very funny mothafucka, right?

So I sent this off and then rang my brother and told him to let them sweat it for a few minutes after getting the postcard and then to tell them I was only joking.


Unfortunately my bro got appendicitis before the postcard arrived and never told them that message. Anyway panic ensued and my parents started ringing around people looking for advice talking to solicitors etc. I had no phone in the place I was staying I used phone booths to call them. So eventually they got the number for the factory and rang the office. anyhoo long story short I was not a popular boy

 

[krystal]

Fancy! I am awed by your boldness!

not exactly a rumor more of a lie and I didn't as much hear about it as invent it myself.

in 1999 I was in rural Germany working in a jam making factory for the summer. I didn't have much contact with my parents but decided to send them a postcard saying that I had been drugged and got roped into marriage with some Turkish girl and that the family were being very aggressive and wanted money and stuff and i was very scared and didn’t know what to do etc etc. ha ha very funny mothafucka, right?

So I sent this off and then rang my brother and told him to let them sweat it for a few minutes after getting the postcard and then to tell them I was only joking.


Unfortunately my bro got appendicitis before the postcard arrived and never told them that message. Anyway panic ensued and my parents started ringing around people looking for advice talking to solicitors etc. I had no phone in the place I was staying I used phone booths to call them. So eventually they got the number for the factory and rang the office. anyhoo long story short I was not a popular boy

 

[SONYMEGADRIVE]

amazing.

 

[Wilbert]

I teach editing on a film course so my students are all around 18 years and up. One of the 2nd years was pissed at some college night-out thingy and told one of the new 1st years that in the '80's I had lived in New York and had played keyboards on a RUN DMC session! The student who told this to him came up to me the next day and begged me to go along with it if any of the first years asked about it.

A few days later one of them did. I said that I had indeed worked on a track with them. A quick google earlier in the day had yielded a track on their first album that was not a single and I said that I had played on that one.

At the end of the course, the students who believed this (after 2 years of this pretence) gave all of the staff t-shirts they had gotten made for us with slogans relevant to the individual lecturer.

Mine had on the front "Cos it's like that....."
and on the back "...and that's the way it is!"

 

[guy of the tiger]

you shoulda seen the amount of jam I brought home as a peace offering..

Fancy! I am awed by your boldness!

 

[Bag'o'cans]

Speaking of jam factories, since i left Dublin apparantely i've been working in

A. A chocolate factory
B. A Battery Chicken Farm

Also i was hit by and bus and driven over by a college lecturer.

 

[spiritualtramp]

Was talking to littledain about this the other day.

Apparantly i died as a result of a brain haemorrage

I used to confuse you with another Ed. For ages I thought I bought a yoke off you at DEAF.

 

[brianoak]

Ha ha thats amazing.I rang my mates mam at 3 in the morning when he was in Finland and told her he had been mauled by an antelope,I could hear down the phone going "fhfgfh" has been attacked by an antelope and he goes "put the feckin phone down its one them messing".Was hilarious till she confronted me about it at his twenty first a few months later,but i blamed someone else who was also at the party so it was a happy ending.


fhfgfh-cos he posts here

not exactly a rumor more of a lie and I didn't as much hear about it as invent it myself.

in 1999 I was in rural Germany working in a jam making factory for the summer. I didn't have much contact with my parents but decided to send them a postcard saying that I had been drugged and got roped into marriage with some Turkish girl and that the family were being very aggressive and wanted money and stuff and i was very scared and didn’t know what to do etc etc. ha ha very funny mothafucka, right?

So I sent this off and then rang my brother and told him to let them sweat it for a few minutes after getting the postcard and then to tell them I was only joking.


Unfortunately my bro got appendicitis before the postcard arrived and never told them that message. Anyway panic ensued and my parents started ringing around people looking for advice talking to solicitors etc. I had no phone in the place I was staying I used phone booths to call them. So eventually they got the number for the factory and rang the office. anyhoo long story short I was not a popular boy

 

[Ed]

I used to confuse you with another Ed. For ages I thought I bought a yoke off you at DEAF.

I sold you heroin at deaf.
People used to ask me for drugs a lot. I DON'T HAVE ANY!