Has anyone got any good jokes? (1 Viewer)

[Jerry Twig]

Go on, I haven't a good joke in ages.

 

[trev]

Two ducks flying over Northern Ireland.
One says to the other "quack quack"
and the other says "I'm sarry I canna go any quacker"

 

[LIZZY E]

What do you call a Chinese baby in the microwave?



Ping!

 

[magicbastarder]

two fish, swimming along, minding their own business. all of a sudden, they hit a concrete wall. one turns to the other and says "DAMN!"

 

[Vain Kane]

Why did Julia Roberts rub shit into her pussy?

Because she was horny

 

[Lili Marlene]

Q: What's the difference between MAdeleine McCann and this joke?
A: This joke will get old.


ahaha, oh god i'm sorry

 

[Franco]

Dublin lad lands in Galway covered in blood.

Doctor: "Where are you bleeding from?"



Fella: "I'm bleedin' from Dublin!"

 

[jane]

A woman goes to the doctor and complains that she was stung by a bee while playing golf. He asks where she was stung, and she says, "Between the first and second holes."

The doctor says, "I can tell you now your stance is too wide."

 

[Jerry Twig]

A man goes to the doctor and says

'I want you to have a look at this' and drops his trousers to show the doctor his huge penis.

'Well, it's very impressive but I can't see much wrong with it'
'Yeah I know, it's great isn't it!'

 

[Mormon Nailer]

How do stop a dog riding your leg?

Pick him up and suck his cock

 

[Vain Kane]

I went for a check up at the doctrors and the nurse says "you'll have to stop wanking"

"Why?" says I

"Because I'm trying to examine you" she says

 

[Tubby Tucker]

What's three foot tall and gives great blowjobs?


My nephew.

 

[pete]

i like the one about the chap in the car and he's driving and takes a phone call telling him he's been promoted, and he gets excited and crashes the car. so the police ask him what happened and he says "i was just driving along, i answered my phone then i careered off the road". yeah i like that one, but i can't tell jokes.

 

[Corey]

Why ar'nt there any muslims in star trek?


Because it's set in the future.

 

[cherrydipper]

Two Sausages on a frying pan.
One says to the other: "Hot in here, isnt it?"
Other sausage says: "Holy Shit! A talking sausage!!"

 

[cherrydipper]

Anto finally got a job and goes home to tell his girlfriend the news...
Anto: "Alright babe, startin new job tomorrow in the Bowling centre, deadly buzz"
Girlfriend: "Nice one, is it ten pin?"
Anto: "Nah, its permanent"

 

[Corey]

Yurn's avatar is pretty fucking funny.

 

[Corey]

Whats red and not there?

No tomatoes.

 

[dunderhead]

ive got a couple of bad jokes

what do you call a man with a rubber toe?

roberto

(an old classic) did you hear about the magic tractor?

it turned into a field

 

[Jerry Twig]

ive got a couple of bad jokes

what do you call a man with a rubber toe?

roberto

Like... what's brown and sticky?

A stick