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Return of the Living Thumped Disco AIDS massacre Instead of coming up with a witty retort, penis-breath, I'll just come along with a bunch of clumsy, syringe-bearing H.I.Vers. That'll learn ye's. I'll be arriving in a puff of brimstone BTW - remember to stand clear.

Please make it so, Pete. I'm just so gosh darned lonely.com. Maybe I'll find love..... abroad... I'm outta here fuckwits - might smell y'all sometime soon if'n I c'n get myself connected - otherwise, till anon, peas & love, Schtoort

Not as bad as the cringe-fest that the Public Enemy gig in the red box turned out to be. Flava Flav's anti-brit ranting being totally ill-informed and making him come accross as a complete ass-wipe. Then he pulled out a tenner and started calling it "fucking british money" and held a lighter to...

1984 : wonky 1984 - YOU didn't look too bad yourself. Propping up the fag machine and rummaging for change in other people's pockets. I still can't believe you took SO much LSD and tried to break into the Gravity bar to remove its couplings and fly it up to three-rock to meet ALF and give him...

ATP: not fucking long now, wha'? Will somebody bring moisturising cream please? Thanks a bunch. Delicious little airplane brekkie to look forward to tomorrow! I fucking love those little blighters, I've already bagsed a pal's so that's at least 2 I'll be shoving down my fat hairy throat in...

I know a few poeple who were a little underwhelmed at the Icarus Line - expecting better that is.

We're talking the ghost of a robot then are we Snaky?

Who am I fucking kidding. Of course I'm going. Roll on 5am tomorrow. I love an early start. Tho 5 is a bit early for a wake-me-up hand shandy - might have to crack one off on the plane instead. And you know, If I face forward while I cum, my ejaculatory juices will technically be travelling...

Fuck this for a game of eels in the bath with your mates and the baby oil. it's 5:15 on wednesday 17th of april and I STILL DON'T KNOW if I'll be going or not. If I DON'T go, I'll still be paying for a flight and a ticket, but If I DO go I'm paying for those AND trains AND spending money AND...

*Sob* the Buttholes were meant to be coming here shortly, but now they're not... *Sob* [Bring it on] I'd love to have seen Zappa, at any point in his career... [/Bring it on]

Why are elephants Big, Grey and Wrinkly? Cos if they were Small, White and Smooth they'd be aspirin.

Personally, I come for the Shite and stay for the Music stuff. In fairness it's a breed of shite that's a cut or two above the rest, cram-packed with rapier wit and cut-throat satire; 'Pricks' for instance.

I uh, I... em, I'm paid to be a web designer/developer but this is what I do. Or did as it happens. I know for a fact that Pantone jacks off elderly amputee outpatients in John of Gods for a living.

The kid has a point guys... seriously.

It's not that my trousers are tight you fat-kidneyed, bug-eyed, gorbellied, prick-teasing, pooper scoopin' sum'bitch.

Well Thumpers, after weeks of having vague rumours and half remembered anecdotes recounted to me by my friends on the inside I'm back to stick my ugly head where it belongs and offer an enthusiastic 'hello' to all my nearest and dearest online associates. Hello. Pete, I am deeply touched by...

Well Thumpers, just finished work and have officially entered the ranks of the unemployed and the world of non-line. Access to the net over the forseeable future will be limited at best so it looks like I'll be going cold turkey. Thanks for the new vice Pete, I Owe You One. That's about it, my...

Fuck shake... I live just opposite temple bar - and by jesus this weekend was a depressing affair. A murderous, intimidating atmosphere prevailed from friday evening through to the wee hours of monday morning. There is a loathsome selection of pissheads evident on the streets from early in the...

Shocker: BMX Bandits was an australian film. Well, it shocked me when I found a coupla years ago... just not as cool. Gwyneth's just to dull to fancy methinks. No 'spunk'. Ahh, but you would....

Er, fill us in?