'worst lyrics ever' thread (1 Viewer)

[Osama Van Halen]

Hogwash!

Some people can see the Emperor is in the nip.

IT'S 'IN THE ALL TOGETHER'....

AND SPEAKIN' OF HOGWASH, I GAVE MY HOG A REAL GOOD WASHIN' THIS MORNING... IT BEING VALENTINES DAY. IF YOU LOOK AND SEE ME IN THE ALL TOGETHER I'M GONNA MAKE SURE THAT IT'S NICELY WASHED.

ALLAHQUAANNNDO!!!

 

[hermie]

Maybe so, but TS never wrote anything about microwave ovens.

don't think they were invented in the 20s.nor were colour tvs for that matter...

 

[Space]

I think the redneck manifesto need a mention:

::clef:: ::clef:: ::clef:: ::clef:: ::clef:: ::clef:: ::clef::

 

[therealjohnny]

I think the redneck manifesto need a mention:

::clef:: ::clef:: ::clef:: ::clef:: ::clef:: ::clef:: ::clef::

yeah- it's like theyre not even trying

 

[MrT]

Has any one mentioned the classic:

Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go


You put the boom boom into my heart,
You send my soul sky high when your lovin' starts.
Jitterbug into my brain,
Goes bang bang bang till my feet do the same.

But something's bugging me
Something ain't right
My best friend told me
What you did last night.

Left me sleeping
In my bed.
I was dreaming
But I should've been with you instead.

CHORUS
Wake me up before you go go,
Don't leave me hanging on like a yo-yo.
Wake me up before you go go,
I don't wanna miss it when you hit that high
Wake me up before you go go,
'Cause I'm not planning on going solo.
Wake me up before you go go,
Take me dancing tonite.
I wanna hit that high...

You get the gray skies outta my way,
You make the sun shine brighter than Doris Day.
Turn a bright spark into a flame,
My beats per minute never been the same.

'Cause you're my lady,
I'm your fool.
Makes me crazy
When you act so cruel.

C'mon baby,
Let's not fight.
We'll go dancing
And everything will be alright.

REPEAT CHORUS

Cuddle up baby,
Move in tight.
We'll go dancing tomorrow night.

It's cold out there
But it's warm in bed.
They can dance,
We'll stay home instead.

 

[MrT]

Worst ones have to be in Hip Hop, cos of all the the cliches and cos they have to right loads of lyrics and they like em to rhyme.
My favorite is:

"I'm the cream of the crop, I rise to the top

I never eat a pig cause a pig is a cop

Or better yet a terminator

Like Arnold Schwarzenegger

Try'n to play me out like as if my name was Sega"


This bloke once tried to play me out like as if my name was sega.
I punched him in the balls.

 

[Stereobaby]

"Whats that your saying to me.....tomatoe cover spaghetti....."

He's talking to his dinner



Also the lyrics to "Rapture" by Blondie are shocking.

 

[Mormon Nailer]

Meet me on my vast veranda
my sweet untouched Miranda

 

[Anthony]

Well, I don't hate my parents
I don't get drunk just to spite them
I've got my own reasons to drink now
Think I'll call my dad up and invite him
I can sleep in till noon anytime I want
Though there's not many days that I do
Gotta get up and take on that world
When your an adult it's no cliche it's the truth

(Chorus)
'Cause I'm an adult now
I'm an adult now
I've got the problems of an adult
On my head and on my shoulders
I'm an adult now

I can't even look at young girls anymore
People will think I'm some kind of pervert
Adult sex is either boring or dirty
Young people they can get away with murder
I don't write songs about girls anymore
I have to write songs about women
No more boy meets girl boy loses girl
More like man tries to figure out what the hell went wrong

I can't take any more illicit drugs
I can't afford any artificial joy
I'd sure look like a fool dead in a ditch somewhere
With a mind full of chemicals
Like some cheese-eating high school boy

Sometimes my head hurts and sometimes my stomach hurts
And I guess it won't be long
Till I'm sitting in a room with a bunch
of people whose necks and backs are aching
Whose sight and hearing's failing
Who just can't seem to get it up
Speaking of hearing, I can't take too much loud music
I mean I like to play it, but I sure don't like the racket
Noise, but I can't hear anything
Just guitars screaming, screaming, screaming
Some guy screaming in a leather jacket
Wooah!

I presume you're posting that as an example of amazing lyrics.

 

[kavanelli]

Blondie - Rapture

Toe to toe
Dancing very slow
Barely breathing
Almost comatose
Wall to wall
People hypnotised
And they're stepping lightly
Hang each night in Rapture

Back to back
Sacrailiac
Spineless movement
And a wild attack

Face to face
Sadly solitude
And it's finger popping
Twenty-four hour shopping in Rapture

Fab Five Freddie told me everybody's high
DJ's spinnin' are savin' my mind
Flash is fast, Flash is cool
Francois sez fas, Flashe' no do
And you don't stop, sure shot
Go out to the parking lot
And you get in your car and you drive real far
And you drive all night and then you see a light
And it comes right down and lands on the ground
And out comes a man from Mars
And you try to run but he's got a gun
And he shoots you dead and he eats your head
And then you're in the man from Mars
You go out at night, eatin' cars
You eat Cadillacs, Lincolns too
Mercurys and Subarus
And you don't stop, you keep on eatin' cars
Then, when there's no more cars
You go out at night and eat up bars where the people meet
Face to face, dance cheek to cheek
One to one, man to man
Dance toe to toe
Don't move too slow, 'cause the man from Mars
Is through with cars, he's eatin' bars
Yeah, wall to wall, door to door, hall to hall
He's gonna eat 'em all
Rapture, be pure
Take a tour, through the sewer
Don't strain your brain, paint a train
You'll be singin' in the rain
I said don't stop, do punk rock

Well now you see what you wanna be
Just have your party on TV
'Cause the man from Mars won't eat up bars when the TV's on
And now he's gone back up to space
Where he won't have a hassle with the human race
And you hip-hop, and you don't stop
Just blast off, sure shot
'Cause the man from Mars stopped eatin' cars and eatin' bars
And now he only eats guitars, get up!

 

[d.o.b]

interventionist god lyric - deadly - ah the romantic loftiness of it all
sea change - deadly - beck has a heart afterall i thinking he must have been inspired by this

Saying I love you Is not the words I want to hear from you It's not that I want you Not to say, but if you only knew How easy it would be to show me how you feel More than words is all you have to do to make it real Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me Cos I'd already know What would you do if my heart was torn in two More than words to show you feel That your love for me is real What would you say if I took those words away Then you couldn't make things new Just by saying I love you More than words Now I've tried to talk to you and make you understand All you have to do is close your eyes And just reach out your hands and touch me Hold me close don't ever let me go More than words is all I ever needed you to show Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me Cos I'd already know What would you do if my heart was torn in two More than words to show you feel That your love for me is real What would you say if I took those words away Then you couldn't make things new Just by saying I love you More than words

 

[Mormon Nailer]

If I ventured in the slipstream
Between the viaducts of your dream
Where immobile steel rims crack
And the ditch in the back roads stop
Could you find me?
Would you kiss-a my eyes?

 

[skrellp]

Re: lyrics by bands you like that make you squirm (or whatever):

Songs: Ohia. Love the music, but jesus, the lyrics!

Example: The women are dressed up, and they're up to no good

I believe every woman has made up her mind to win.

Guy's got some serious issues.

 

[ernesto]

courtesy of ernesto's Da. Dadrock at it's most cringeworthy.need to hear the thing to grasp the awfullness properlly.Amazingly shit lyrics.makes Mark Knofler sound like T.S. Eliot:

that was so funny!!

collected the lads goin to practise and some compilation that my dad made was on.
sittin in the back of the car Hermie leans forward and burst out with 'what the fuck is this shit?...this is the worst song ive ever heard. its absolutlry awful!!!'

we then listened to it again and agian. it truly is a piece of shit.

my dad's taste in music has gone in my books. fuck sake

 

[bloopitybloop]

Neil Diamond:


Porcupine Pie, Porcupine Pie, Porcupine Pie
Vanilla Soup, a double scoop please
No, maybe I won't, maybe I won't, maybe I will
The tutti fruit with fruity blue cheese

Ah, but Porcupine Pie, Porcupine Pie, Porcupine Pie
Don't let it get on your jeans
And though it sounds a little strange
Well, you gotta eat it with gloves
Or your hands will turn green

Ah, but porcupine pie, porcupine pie, porcupine pie,
It weaves its way through my dreams,
And I do believe I'm gonna have one and
Leave enough room for dessert, chicken ripple ice cream.


Actually, this is great!

 

[carbide]

I drive my mini cooper
And I'm feeling super-dooper

this remains one of the funniest things ever.

em, i know picking on spandau ballet is a bit unsporting, but the meta line in 'true' drives me mad:

I bought a ticket to the world,
but now I've come back again
Why do I find it hard to write the next line?
Oh, I want the truth to be said

 

[ratmonkey]

The classic from Ugly Kid Joe:

She was a good witch, she was a bad witch, but all I really wanted was a motherfucking sandwich.

 

[Lili Marlene]

Cartrouble - Adam and the Ants

Have you ever had to ride in a light blue car?
Have you ever stopped to think who's the slave and who's the master?
Have you ever had trouble with your automobile?
Have you ever had to push push push push?
CARTROUBLE OH YEAH

It's a great tune though

 

[Locked Strummer]

LIKE DIS (FEAT. ANDY MILONAKIS)

Hi my names Kwon, best friend Andy,
All we do is mack on these chicks, and eat candy,
Still live with my mami, fart out my fanny,
Get hella drunk, and shadowbox with my nanny

PLEEEEEEEAAASSSSSSEEEEEEE KILL ME!

 

[Wilbert]

"hot dogs, jumping frogs.... [SIZE=-1]Alberrrrr-qurrrr-queeee"[/SIZE]

Yes, but thats a song about someone who wrote bad lyrics. I think it escapes prosecution on a technicality.