Tell me a joke thread (1 Viewer)

[ann post]

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[rettucs]

thought of you @pete

 

[pete]

thought of you @pete

View attachment 17630

Actually running into that every couple of weeks with a developer right now.

 

[pete]

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[pete]

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[Kermit McDermott]

What cheese is the greatest of all time?

GOAT's cheese.

 

[seanc]

Not a joke, real life but I can't let it be lost.

An engineer friend was reticent about a Tindr date. She's all into Astrology and he just wants his end away. It's Tindr after all.

The other engineer (in a moment of drunken clarity) says "Listen, we all need to do what we need to do for the sake of hydraulics".

 

[magicbastarder]

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[flashback]

Israel and Palestine have been at a big negotiation summit for weeks. They finally emerge out into the sunlight, everyone glad to be outside finally, a little stressed, the press are clamoring, and the Palestinian representative clears his throat and makes an announcement.

After some difficult days, we've reached an agreement that Palestine will take control of Gaza and it be recognized by all parties as wholly Palestinian from this date forwards. However, we have still to reach full agreement as to what Israel will give us in return.

 

[ann post]

 

[seanc]

A rabbit and his mate go into the work canteen and put their sandwiches in the Breville grill. Rabbit hops away.

Comes back, grabs the sandwich but then he feels all weird and the whites of his eyes turn red. He looks at his mate and says "Oh no, I've mixed up my toasties!"

 

[pete]

What’s the hardest part of learning to rollerblade?

Telling your parents you're gay.

 

[seanc]

What's the hardest thing to do in rollerblading? That's the way I usually heard it, it makes more sense in a technical telling a joke way.

But of course we don't tell that joke any more.

 

[seanc]

From that thing Pete posted above:

What do you call a ginger in a porno?

Camera operator.


I'm not into lazy jokes about red haired people or whatever, but that's a technically clever bit of humour.

 

[magicbastarder]

When my grandfather got ill, my grandmother smeared grease on his back.
He went downhill quickly after that.

 

[seanc]

I used to make sandcastles with my grandad.
Until my grandmother told me to put him back in the urn.

 

[seanc]

Why does Noddy wear a hat with a bell on it?







Because he's a cunt

Took me nine years to get that, but excellent.

 

[sleepy]

Took me nine years to get that, but excellent.

It was worth the wait

 

[ann post]

 

[seanc]

Before I forget.

The Nazis did have style, and a style. But Mussolini, he looked better upside down.