Never a borrower nor a lender be... (1 Viewer)

[Diddles]

I lent someone some money at the start of the year and he promised to pay me back within a couple of months. During the summer he was saying he had no money so I gave him an extension until the end of September, which has come and gone. He hasn't mentioned paying me back since but in the meantime he's been going on about buying a flat screen telly, unnecessary extra computer for his kids etc. etc. But I think his priority should be to pay me back. I'm at a loss about what to do or say. I reckon this guy knows that we have some savings so thinks we don't need this money back.

Now, I have someone who is potentially in desperate need of cash. It's a total fucking emergency. I really want to lend her some cash, but am afraid to offer her money in case I end up in the same situation. She didn't ask for a lend by the way.

I can't keep lending out money if people are going to take the piss. We're trying to save a few bob for the first time in our lives and it just seems to be pissing back out again.

The money lent to the first person was just to tide them over but this second person is in desperate need.

Advice please!

 

[GO]

If its a real emergency.
You can't really say no,if its a good friend I would be inclined to say.
You could decline me the lend of the steam off your piss in clear conscience however.
If I was you though I'd have to weigh up the value of yer nest egg against the alleged financial hardship being endured by your bud.
I personally would like to think I could put the previous negative lending
experience behind me and continue to have an un eroded faith in my fellow man.
Thats possibly the work of a saintly type though.

Its a tricky one.

 

[Milker]

you have two concerns here and i'd keep the two situations seperate.
wouldn't use friend 'b' as a motivating factor to sort out 'friend' 'a'.
if you can help out friend 'b' then talk w her and see if she'd accept assisstance.
it's to your credit that you care about yer mates financial worries but the problem thus far is responsibly following up the renager..get onto him and ask for his plan to repay you. I'm sure he worries about it even tho he never mentions it so facing up to it and arranging a realistic repayment plan could save the friendships mutual respect.


ps can you spot me a score?

 

[GO]

I would say that's a sage bit of advice you got there dear Diddlyknobs.

 

[flashback]

this actually happened to a mate of mine.
He's not skint, by any means, and the lad in question is not well off, obviously, but must have a few quid.

He was extremely polite to him twice, and then he made an unholy disgrace of him, in front of me and one of his mates, in the middle of the street. He apologized to me afterwards, but your man was fucking left shaking.

It is a case of no good deed going unpunished, but Milker is right. Ask your man for the cash back.
Your financial situation is your business, and your responsibility. You have a nipper, and a gaff, and various other things. Who knows what the hell is going on with your cash flow. Set it all out very nicely and clearly, you were in a spot, I loaned you the cash, you didn't pay it back, you didn't pay it back again, Christmas is coming up you know, so you need it back now.
If you cant make that, get him to split it into two halves.

 

[Diddles]

Thanks lads,

I'll defo look at the issues separately. It's not the second person fault that the first person hasn't paid me back so I'll give her a lend is she needs it.

I feel with the first person that as time goes on, he's justifying in his head why he shouldn't pay me back. I reckon he thinks I don't need the money. I'm going to say it to him this week about it.

 

[krystal]

Jesus people like this give me the pip. What, so you're a free money donations service, are you? It doesn't matter if you're a fucking millionaire, he's an asshole taking advantage of your kind nature and he needs to give you the money back. I always think people who won't cough up cash they've been loaned rely on the embarrassment factor involved with asking for the money to be repaid. Take a deep breath, tell yourself you've done nothing wrong - which you haven't - and nicely but firmly insist on its safe return.

Thanks lads,

I'll defo look at the issues separately. It's not the second person fault that the first person hasn't paid me back so I'll give her a lend is she needs it.

I feel with the first person that as time goes on, he's justifying in his head why he shouldn't pay me back. I reckon he thinks I don't need the money. I'm going to say it to him this week about it.

 

[Cormcolash]

Hey Diddles could you lend me €400? I blew my rent money on the football and they're gonna kick me out on the cold hard street if I don't come up with it by noon tomorrow.

 

[Denny Oubidoux]

bring the baby with you when you go to ask for the money

 

[7 - No tomorrow]

Whatever the situation is, I'd tell this guy you need your money back.
Personally speaking, this chick doesn't sound like a great bet either.

Borrowing money is what family are for.
It rarely does a friendship any good, and it's often corrosive.
Also, if you're lending to someone and you make out that you've got it and it's no big deal, they'll think paying it back is no big deal.

 

[Lili Marlene]

are you allowed to privately hire collection agencies?

as I say all the time to people in work 'they're not in the business of making friends'. Very effective people so they are

 

[7 - No tomorrow]

Never a borrower nor a lender be...

Full quote from Polonius to Ophelia's brother (name escapes)

Solid advice as it happens

http://www.quotationspage.com/quote/25301.html

Neither a borrower nor a lender be;
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

 

[Cormcolash]

bring the baby with you when you go to ask for the money

Sound advice.

 

[Corey]

Only ever borrow from banks.

And never, never pay it back.

 

[Anthony]

I have no idea who borrower A is but I'm guessing that unnecessary purchases are what had him in financial trouble in the first place. If you don't make him pay you back before he blows it on a flat screen tv (ffs) then this will continue for the rest of his life. Probably will anyway but. You owe it to everyone to get that cash back.

 

[egg_]

Is borrower A family? I've never had any success collecting debts from my brothers

 

[Jill Hives]

I try never borrow money from freinds because it will always cause problems. Plus, I never borrow money when I know I can't pay it back in a timely manner. I would never want anyone judging how I spend money if I owed them. Granted a TV is just ridiculous. I'd just tell them you need it back. You have a small child, surely they'd understand.

 

[7 - No tomorrow]

Laertes. Ophelia's brother is Laertes.

I must have been tired last night.

 

[Reets]

Laertes. Ophelia's brother is Laertes.

I must have been tired last night.

Not bad advice coming from a guy with a prostitute on his knee.

 

[nlgbbbblth]

Laertes. Ophelia's brother is Laertes.

I must have been tired last night.

is Laertes still alive?