Meet the parents (1 Viewer)

[Lefty Frizzell]

Fucks sake, first time I met my girlfriends parents was horrible.
I'd been scared shitless for weeks cos I heard her Da was like, gonna kick the shite outta me or some shit.
Anyway, first few minutes were grand (hand-shakes, nice to finally meet you blah blah) then we sit down to dinner and fuck saaaake; her Da asks me what my plans for the Summer are and I fucken deck her little sister.
Pretty shameful and I was the only fucken one laughin'.
Jeeeeeeeesus.

 

[Latex lizzie]

yeah good luck with this neil...you'll be grand..you have the tim robbins mammy likes me look about you.

dont forget to take the gimp mask off before you sit down to dinner though.

 

[Lefty Frizzell]

dont forget to take the gimp mask off before you sit down to dinner though.

and check that theres no butt plug in your breast pocket.

 

[jane]

and check that theres no butt plug in your breast pocket.

Yeah, this is good advice. Better to keep it in your back or side pockets. That way, when they ask what your intentions with their daughter are, you can just point to the bulge. I reckon back pocket would be more intriguing.

 

[avernus]

My girlfriend's Dad threatened me after I gave his son a boot playing bootball. Some time later, that same son spat on me and I called to their house and told the mother on him - to avoid another encounter with the father, you see.
It went down poorly.

5 years later me and their daughter were going out. I met the father and he said: "oh, it's you again".

Good times.

 

[Latex lizzie]

..right.

hire a costume say, ooh pirate or chicken or something.

arrrh me hearties/cluck your way through dinner. If the accept you into the bosom of their family they have to be the soundest and you are sure to make an impression!*



*never take my advice.

 

[Los Davos]

i forgot to wash me hands after fixing meself a hand shandy in the jax.

the mother gave me odd stares all night.

 

[Eddie Gorilla]

Eh how the fook did ya manage to deck her little sister????

Jesus..did I not explain it already?
He asked me what my plans for the fucken Summer were ya sap.

 

[ICUH8N]

Are you speaking in some sort of...code?

 

[Unicron]

I met the the girlfriend's family a couple of weeks ago except I wasn't introduced as her fella, just some friend of hers that was visiting and the whole thing kinda freaked me out.

Her, me, her parents, her aunt and uncle who were visiting, their son and his wife and her mum's freind. Now I'm 6'3'' and she is Taiwanese, 5'1'' and taller than her folks so I felt like a fucking giant. We had a meal at a Taiwanese restaurant and they all spent 95% of the time jabbering away in their native tongue while I was straining my ears desperately trying to make out if anyone used the Taiwanese word for "white devil" that she had thought me. She got stoned beforehand but I didn't as I didn't want any adverse reactions, like obeying the urge to say "I've fucked your daughter" to her da as soon as we met. He's 4'9'', whats he gonna do?

Then the food came, forget your local takeaway the Chinese will eat fucking anything and lots of it, I kept leaning over to her and saying "what's that" to get replys like "intestines, don't eat it" and "you don't want to know", the 3 cup chicken was nice though.

I did highly amuse them by my attempts to eat rice with chopsticks likethey were though. Eventually her aunt who speaks no english tapped me on the hand and made "eat it with a spoon" gestures.

Fun

 

[Lefty Frizzell]

the mother gave me odd stares all night.

ah the old 'i'd love you to give me a bristol city boomerang over the kitchen table' stare.

 

[chutneyfarmer]

Jesus..did I not explain it already?
He asked me what my plans for the fucken Summer were ya sap.

So you're gonna spend you're time in the sun beating up minor, is that it?

I don't get it.


See ya at 3 anyway

 

[brianoak]

Show up drunk and get sick all over the bathroom floor.
My exe's Mam cried when we split up.I think its because I showed her I was a vunerable and sensitive human being that first night.

 

[herv]

I still haven't met me blokes folks after two and a half years due to a mixture of shyness and laziness. They thought I was imaginary until his sister (who I did meet) confirmed I existed.

and i've only met your mum.

You're coming to new ross the next time i'm going down though.

 

[krystal]

tell her she's dumped if she doesn't.

and i've only met your mum.

You're coming to new ross the next time i'm going down though.

 

[Lefty Frizzell]

tell her she's dumped if she doesn't.

you just had your chance to be trisha and you blew it!!

 

[ICUH8N]

It's always difficult when it's clear that her mother bangs like a shed door in a heavy storm

 

[ms.b.haven]

the first time i met pauls parent i had dinner at their house. it was lamb, spuds and veggies. i manage to eat all the meat (i was hungover) but not much of the spuds and veg and just as i was finished his brother said "hey jo looks like you like your meat" proud as punch i said "yeah " i was the last to cop on to the joke and was purely mortified - 10 shades of red

 

[billygannon]

Ms. B. Haven... is your name Jo?

 

[Audiodelic]

My parents got within 5 feet of meeting an ex of mine for the first time a few years ago. I lived in town in a tiny, tiny house and they called in on Paddy's Day after the parade so my mam could use the loo. Meself and himself were in the leaba snoozing and as they'd never met, I couldn't do the whole 'here's-my-new-naked-boyfriend-thing right there. So I made him hide in the backyard for 10 minutes in his boxers freezing his arse off in March, poor lamb.

They did meet eventually, but he was fully clothed and a lot warmer.