Dating Apps OR Just signed up for Bumble. And Hinge. (1 Viewer)

Unknown Convict

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Find myself 45 and single. Only the record nerd in me is happy about it. So at the insistence of a good mate and as part of the process of "moving on", I now have Hinge and Bumble profiles.

Don't worry - this isn't a sales pitch. Just curious if anyone has experience - good or bad - of either, or of the fetid swamp that is Tinder, which I've avoided.

Hinge seems better to me. Possible matches come around more than once. Location is accurate.

Bumble lists your current location, even if you're e.g. just in Ballaghaderreen for the weekend, meaning it's a left swipe from me though you might actually live just up the road.

You have to answer some questions on Hinge whereas on Bumble you can just post pics.

Bumble has a 24 hour cut-off for responses to matches so unless you're on it every day, you'll miss them.

So, any thoughts? Curious to hear from any female users. I'm guessing their experience might differ from the average male's.
 

Unicron

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Met my GF on bumble. It's going great. Was on tinder as well for a while and went out with someone for a few months on that a couple of years ago. Lost count of how many first dates I went on, no one awful really, just a lot of people where we didn't click.

The tinder date/bumble date is often less like a proper date a bit like a job interview because there's only so much of a feel you can get for someone based on pictures and text messaging. You'll probably not mean to but you'll likely end up with a few stories that you end up telling over and over again to people and find yourself getting better at telling them as time goes by.
 

rettucs

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go for it @Unknown Convict. Tinder is a bit of a cesspit, but with a bit of patience, if you're sincere about it, you'll rise above all the wankers on there who make the place a bit shit. All it is really is a place that facilitates 2 people meeting. I went on it twice, once for 2 weeks where, like Ian, I had several first dates that left me cold, and another time for a month. The second time I went on after being badgered to by friends, but ended up meeting someone who I've now been with for 3 years.

At the risk of generalising here, women go on there with genuine intention to meet someone. Some men do (#notallmen) but a lot are only on there acting the prick. For this reason I found that a lot of the girls I spoke to, understandably, are a bit suspicious and you need to prove your sincerity - so be prepared to do that.

It's a great tool for breaking down barriers. There's no shit with it. Someone likes you, you like them, you get chatting, you either agree to take it further, or you don't. If you don't, you move on. At the same time it's a bit shallow and it leaves you a bit cold. You might end up talking to 5 people at the same time, each of whom are possibly also talking to 5 people. Best to block that out of your mind though.

Give it a couple of weeks. Don't get overly consumed by it, and try and block out the shallowness of it. Like anything, put in the effort, and it could work out well.
 

Unknown Convict

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Cheers gents, embiggened by your responses. I've had one first date already, another imminent, both via Hinge. Plus another 5 chats on the go. Some are non-starters but my inner gent feels obliged to respond.

I've been through the wringer in the 5 months since the split. These apps are a decent distraction, if nothing else, and good for the spirit but it's encouraging to hear there's potential for a good outcome.
 

Unicron

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It seems obvious, but as in life, just don't be a prick. Based on conversations with women I know, even some that I've been on dating app dates on, you'd be amazed how far you can stick out from the crowd on the apps by not being a prick. There's a reason you see so many women who's bio's include some variation of the phrase "no ONS/hook-ups." Nothing inherently wrong with using an app for that but if you're someone who isn't looking for it then being bombarded with requests for it in the first message must get very tiresome.
 

Unknown Convict

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It seems obvious, but as in life, just don't be a prick. Based on conversations with women I know, even some that I've been on dating app dates on, you'd be amazed how far you can stick out from the crowd on the apps by not being a prick. There's a reason you see so many women who's bio's include some variation of the phrase "no ONS/hook-ups." Nothing inherently wrong with using an app for that but if you're someone who isn't looking for it then being bombarded with requests for it in the first message must get very tiresome.
Yeah, striving for this. My first first date told me she's forever blocking weirdos and inappropriate advances so not being one of those is a head start. I mean, there's a degree of weird in my profile but I hope it's the right weird ie attractive to my type.

I'm trying to view the apps as just an ice-breaker. Up to two weeks ago I'd never even been on a date. One-woman guy for the last 23+ years so it's a steep curve.
 

GO

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Online dating is the best thing ever for auld lads like us. I went on a load of dates off Tinder and it was all good. Had a great time altogether...but I was preparing to give up on it because getting the rapport going is a lot of effort and I was getting browned off with it. But looking at groupon travel deals made me stick with it cos you need two for them!

Met my gf on Plenty Of Fish then and she messaged me first I'm fairly certain although she denies it . I preferred POF for some reason I cant quite remember now. I think it might've been cos it was on the computer so typing wasn't the chore it is on a phone. Anyway long story short she's a total winner we're together 2 and half years and are forever going away on trips and watching movies its class so I say sally forth old chap!
 

Unknown Convict

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OK Cupid is good!
Sure is. Still avoiding Tinder but signed up here too. Not paying though so still trying to match blurry 'like' photos with profiles. Have a few chats on the go plus a good number of pending likes in my inbox.

Wondering how many simultaneous chats is too many.

It's way more detailed than the other two, loads of questions to answer... some you wouldn't necessarily discuss with your nearest and dearest. One woman made me almost crash the van with some of her answers. Don't swipe and drive...

Should I be on the lookout for you @_Katie_ ?
 

_Katie_

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Sure is. Still avoiding Tinder but signed up here too. Not paying though so still trying to match blurry 'like' photos with profiles. Have a few chats on the go plus a good number of pending likes in my inbox.

Wondering how many simultaneous chats is too many.

It's way more detailed than the other two, loads of questions to answer... some you wouldn't necessarily discuss with your nearest and dearest. One woman made me almost crash the van with some of her answers. Don't swipe and drive...

Should I be on the lookout for you @_Katie_ ?
No, I am happily taken so not on apps! I've used them in the past :) I do think its the best one in terms of people actually chatting and being genuine. Nothing wrong with lots of chats I'd say once you're not overly leading anyone on? Enjoy it and best of luck :)
 

Lili Marlene

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When OKcupid first came out (2005 :oops:) we basically used it as a social network because none of us had heard of Myspace yet. I'm still friends with some American I used to chat on it.
 

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