Meet the parents (1 Viewer)

[Lefty Frizzell]

When I was 19 I went out with a right wagon who was originally from cork. We went down to the cork jazz festival and she thought it would be nice to call into her parents for dinner. I wasn’t wild on the idea however.

As we sat down to eat the three of them bowed their heads and started praying. As a rampant athiest I declined to join in and thought it went unnoticed until 10 minutes later her mother dropped a right clanger and said

"So Dave, do you not say grace before you eat at home?"

"No actually."

"Are your parents religious?"

"No."

"Well what do you believe in?"

She was looking at me like I just told her I had 48 hours to live.

At this stage the girlfriend jumped in a slightly diffused the situation with a joke that I cant remember. Anyways these guys were serious bible bashers and we all ended up in the living room watching catch phrase and eating after eights. I've never squirmed so much in my life.

Had a great weekend apart from that.

 

[RSJ]

Bring some coke in case you lose your nerve and need a little something to bring the confidence back.

 

[billygannon]

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0061735/

 

[nEiLo]

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0061735/

ha ha

 

[Corey]

Tellin yeh'. Back in college i went down to spend new years with my ex's family. was really nervous the whole way down; on entering, the da, who had the most perfectly kept handle bar moustach you've ever seen, takes me on a 'tour of the house' so we can 'talk'. Went over the finer points of safe sex while en route to the 'Bike Room' where the old man kept a pretty impressive collection of motor bikes, a hobby born out of the 'Gang Days' of his youth. We then made our way to the 'Armoury Room' where,during his days as a ships captain running secret arms shipments out of old russia and into the middle east; he had collected a not unimpressive or even mildly bed wetting collection of big fucking guns, the most noticeable of which was an anti tank missle launcher (firing pins out of course)that he calmly 'Lined and Sighted' me in. That means pointing it at my face. All said though he turned out to be one a the soundest, most interesting daddys i met. My present lady's da is hilariously racist; was in the French Foreign Legion for fifteen years; was Chiracs bodygaurd for five; conducted 'surveilance' for french intelligence in morrocco for two, collects antique third reich memorabilia and has killed a man. And thats only what he lets me know. For our Housewarning (no spelling mistakes there, he actually called it that) he got us antlers and meat from a deer that he killed and skninned himself that very week. We dont talk much, but I like him. Her ma's a fifty-five year old anorexic ex-alchoholic born again-christian councillor. -Dont like her, she's an awful bore.

 

[billygannon]

I know someone who took a guy back home to meet the parents and then ended it with him when he got to the house. To compound matters, the girl's extended family were in the house at the time as well. He spent the whole afternoon there as well.

 

[Napalm]

Remember to bring a dowry like a plant/bottle of vino/box of chocs.

If its a Sunday, bring a nice cake ( goes well with tea ) and don't bring a cheap sponge either

 

[TenRabbits]

Tellin yeh'. Back in college i went down to spend new years with my ex's family. was really nervous the whole way down; on entering, the da, who had the most perfectly kept handle bar moustach you've ever seen, takes me on a 'tour of the house' so we can 'talk'. Went over the finer points of safe sex while en route to the 'Bike Room' where the old man kept a pretty impressive collection of motor bikes, a hobby born out of the 'Gang Days' of his youth. We then made our way to the 'Armoury Room' where,during his days as a ships captain running secret arms shipments out of old russia and into the middle east; he had collected a not unimpressive or even mildly bed wetting collection of big fucking guns, the most noticeable of which was an anti tank missle launcher (firing pins out of course)that he calmly 'Lined and Sighted' me in. That means pointing it at my face. All said though he turned out to be one a the soundest, most interesting daddys i met. My present lady's da is hilariously racist; was in the French Foreign Legion for fifteen years; was Chiracs bodygaurd for five; conducted 'surveilance' for french intelligence in morrocco for two, collects antique third reich memorabilia and has killed a man. And thats only what he lets me know. For our Housewarning (no spelling mistakes there, he actually called it that) he got us antlers and meat from a deer that he killed and skninned himself that very week. We dont talk much, but I like him. Her ma's a fifty-five year old anorexic ex-alchoholic born again-christian councillor. -Dont like her, she's an awful bore.

Where the hell did you meet these ladies?? Were they personal ads in Soldier of Fortune magazine or something?!

"SWF aged 19. Will show bf round fathers collection of large weapons and human skulls. Enjoys firing machine guns in bikinis. At Africans."

 

[spiritualtramp]

Back in college

Did they not teach you to use paragraphs in college?

 

[spiritualtramp]

If its a Sunday, bring a nice cake ( goes well with tea ) and don't bring a cheap sponge either

Even better, make them a cake.

 

[krystal]

you win.

Tellin yeh'. Back in college i went down to spend new years with my ex's family. was really nervous the whole way down; on entering, the da, who had the most perfectly kept handle bar moustach you've ever seen, takes me on a 'tour of the house' so we can 'talk'. Went over the finer points of safe sex while en route to the 'Bike Room' where the old man kept a pretty impressive collection of motor bikes, a hobby born out of the 'Gang Days' of his youth. We then made our way to the 'Armoury Room' where,during his days as a ships captain running secret arms shipments out of old russia and into the middle east; he had collected a not unimpressive or even mildly bed wetting collection of big fucking guns, the most noticeable of which was an anti tank missle launcher (firing pins out of course)that he calmly 'Lined and Sighted' me in. That means pointing it at my face. All said though he turned out to be one a the soundest, most interesting daddys i met. My present lady's da is hilariously racist; was in the French Foreign Legion for fifteen years; was Chiracs bodygaurd for five; conducted 'surveilance' for french intelligence in morrocco for two, collects antique third reich memorabilia and has killed a man. And thats only what he lets me know. For our Housewarning (no spelling mistakes there, he actually called it that) he got us antlers and meat from a deer that he killed and skninned himself that very week. We dont talk much, but I like him. Her ma's a fifty-five year old anorexic ex-alchoholic born again-christian councillor. -Dont like her, she's an awful bore.

 

[RSJ]

Even better, make them a cake.

I dunno about that, might be dangling the carrot of homosexuality at them a little too early.

 

[Corey]

Did they not teach you to use paragraphs in college?

Heavens no. Thats Flight school, and i'm not one for jumping out of planes.

 

[billygannon]

Even better, make them a cake.

Even better, arrive in a cake!

 

[guy of the tiger]

The first time I met my teenage girlfriends mother was at about 2am one night. She had a curfew so I was hiding around the side passage of the house waiting for her to sneak out her bedroom window. Suffice it to say we got caught.

 

[quasiquasi]

Lack of a common language makes things interesting...I found out after meeting my girlfriend's parents that they found me hilarious on account of my Junior Cert conversational French, but I could just as easily have insulted them, their immediate family, their ancestors, the dog, and the food.

 

[snakybus]

M dad-in-law threatened to beat the shite out of me if I ever harmed his daughter the first time I met him. It was hard to take him seriously though, he was drunk and he's only a small lad. Last time I was out to dinner with her seven brothers and her dad they were sharing some Chris Rock joke about big burly "Bubba" types in jail getting newly-arrived he-bitches to eat their ass out. This in front of one of the daughter/sister-in laws and her sister, who's a nun. After that, I reckon there's not much I can do that'd shock them.

 

[roxy]

her seven brothers

Jakers, all in all, Nora has some number of aunts and uncles eh?

 

[Eddie Gorilla]

Fucks sake, first time I met my girlfriends parents was horrible.
I'd been scared shitless for weeks cos I heard her Da was like, gonna kick the shite outta me or some shit.
Anyway, first few minutes were grand (hand-shakes, nice to finally meet you blah blah) then we sit down to dinner and fuck saaaake; her Da asks me what my plans for the Summer are and I fucken deck her little sister.
Pretty shameful and I was the only fucken one laughin'.
Jeeeeeeeesus.

 

[chutneyfarmer]

Fucks sake, first time I met my girlfriends parents was horrible.
I'd been scared shitless for weeks cos I heard her Da was like, gonna kick the shite outta me or some shit.
Anyway, first few minutes were grand (hand-shakes, nice to finally meet you blah blah) then we sit down to dinner and fuck saaaake; her Da asks me what my plans for the Summer are and I fucken deck her little sister.
Pretty shameful and I was the only fucken one laughin'.
Jeeeeeeeesus.

Eh how the fook did ya manage to deck her little sister????