Dates from hell.. (1 Viewer)

[Eddie Gorilla]

that's mental!
what a prick.

i back the debollocking.

 

[Scientician 0.8]

Poor guy's just socially inept. Leave him alone.

 

[nlgbbbblth]

what film was it?

 

[Lord Damian]

Im planning on having an extremely good time coming this september.

this thread just gets better.

 

[whathappen?]

so? 8 euro. oh roisin stop feeling guilty . college will be brilliant. savage crusty types everywhere. go for the ones away from home. they are the most vulnerable hehehehehe. just watch out for rugby headed hair gelled collar up tommy hilfiger clones. they wear Links. some even wear fake tan.

what college are you going to.?
English department always throw up a handful of yum yums and maths or sciences if you have a nerd fetish like me

 

[wild_cat]

what film was it?

Die hard.

Poor guy's just socially inept. Leave him alone.

He's had girl friends from stuff I asked around about. I now know not to go near some one when more than one person just replies with "he's not your type.

 

[pete]

yeah, at the very best it's possibly the most charmless and un-smooth thing a guy could say.

how about

so, are you gettin off with me or what?

which worked rather well for a bloke i once knew

 

[nlgbbbblth]

how about which worked rather well for a bloke i once knew

a mate, like....

 

[pete]

a mate, like....

yep. i would never have had the balls for that.

the romantic gem in question was revealed when he was asked just how he was so successful with the ladies.

 

[wild_cat]

this thread just gets better.

Oh lord, the wording on that....

"This septemer I plan to have a good time"

 

[jimmybreeze]

how about which worked rather well for a bloke i once knew

Doesnt sound like a charmer anyway,
He should have gone for the Paddy Considine classic from "A room for romeo brass",
slipped open his silk dressing gown,and said
"Tuck in"

 

[Jill Hives]

A few years back I went on a blind date (never again) after getting out of a long relationship. Basically, I just wanted to go out and have some fun. I was always against blind dates but this time I said, “What the hell, I’ll give it a try.”

I never actually spoke with him but I knew he was quite a few years younger and in grad school. He e-mailed me to say, “Meet me at the Reflecting Pool, I want show you the moon.” Then and there, I should have known this was not a good idea but I was intrigued so I went for the entertainment factor.

I sat reading my book by the reflecting pool when all of a sudden someone grabbed my book. It was him. He grabbed my hand and said, “Lets be on our way.” No hello. Nothing. Just stole my book and dragged me off the bench. Now a sane person would have said something but again I ignored my good sense and just tried to keep up the pace as he walked ahead. About three blocks later he walks into a liquor store, I followed. “We need vodka.” He said. Me, “okay.” He buys a small bottle, takes the bag in one hand and my hand with this other. Again I am dragged a few blocks.

We stop in a small park, which it’s gotten rather dark at this stage. We sit inside an empty park fountain and he just stares at me. I thought about speaking but so far it has been his power trip so I just stare back silently. I figure it’s a bit of a game. Then there were a slew of philosophical (I just read Catcher in the Rye, I wear black on the outside because black is how I feel on the inside) type questions. It took the bottle and start drinking so I could bear the pompous shit coming out of his mouth.

I am sufficiently drunk and the slightest interest I had was waning so I finally ask him what he is studying. He then tells me he is in school for forensic science, specifically autopsies. I take a quick look around and realize there absolutely no one around and we are basically alone. Again I should had listened to my intuition and gone but no, I don’t. He tells me to stand up and I do. He then marks with is hands the lines on the body where he would cut if doing an autopsy on me. Extremely creepy, yet oddly…disturbingly erotic at the same time. I would like to blame that on the alcohol.

So then he says, “We should go.” Again, me, “Okay.” I take his hand and he brings me to his car. It’s only then I realize he hasn’t had anything to drink. I am the only one who has…he starts driving out of the city. I am at this point convinced I am going to be chopped up into pieces for being such an idiot. In my head I make peace with it and take another swig of vodka.

About 20 minutes later he pulls into and old grown-over road. He gets out and tells me to follow. I do. He starts climbing a fence. I am wearing a skirt and clogs but I do the same. Come to find out it’s the old building of an insane asylum and apparently where Sylvia Plath was held. Then there are bright lights and a man saying, “Hold it right there.” It was security.

He runs. He yells at me to run. Mind you, I’m drunk and in a skirt. I scale the fence. We jump in the car while the security man jumps from his truck and tries to unlock the gate. He puts my hand on the shifter then his hand over mine and takes off. The security man follows us down the road. We were going pretty fast and this kid cuts down some back roads and pulls into a long country driveway and turns off the car. We see the security guy go right on by without seeing us. After about 20 minutes, we pull out and he takes me home. Well, many blocks from my home (I lied about here I lived) and ignored every e-mail I got from him again. No more blind dates. Not even for entertainment value.

 

[theweeyin]

Awwwww. I've just 4 dates with this really 'nice' guy. I'm not going to be seeing him again. He was good looking and had gorgeous eyes but he was soooo quiet! He never complimented me, he never really made conversation, it was really awkward when it got to the kissing part and it just felt really uncomfortable. The whole time. I gave him 4 dates to see if he would relax into it but he didnt and it was awful! So I won't be doing that again. Random sex is definitely better and the way forward!

 

[ernesto]

A few years back I went on a blind date (never again) after getting out of a long relationship. Basically, I just wanted to go out and have some fun. I was always against blind dates but this time I said, “What the hell, I’ll give it a try.” .....
......Well, many blocks from my home (I lied about here I lived) and ignored every e-mail I got from him again. No more blind dates. Not even for entertainment value.

i hate stories without sexy results

..Random sex is definitely better and the way forward!

huzzah!!!

and
did ye get some?

 

[mr pharmacist!!!!1]

i hate stories without sexy results

I am wearing a skirt and clogs

YES!

 

[Corey]

Oh lord... how could a chap be so simple. Met him through a friend, have completely nothing in common and he dressed like a skanger.

I knew it was going to go all wrong from the minute we walked into the cinema, it was one of those old seated ones, with seperate seats and single seats. We walk in anyway from one look I cant see any seperate seats. So he walks down to the bottom to sit in a double seat and I walk really fast up to the top to where Ive spotted two single seats. So then he strolls back up and starts telling me about these hay fever tablets hes on... I hear this story three times more...


After we sit down he takes this plastic bag out, he ruffles it so much during the film that some one actually turned around and told him to stay quiet He sat there eating wine gums for the whole thing and laughed really really loudly when no one else was laughing. Chawing away he was. He kept trying to lean into me and I was like.. aww shit what am I going to do now, so I lean in and go "ive to leave at 10.45", then I nearly break my neck retreating. When the film is over we walk outside its 10.30 and Im shitting myself that my parents are late. So I sit down to wait to be collected and he starts the whole leaning in shit again, so I sprang up going "oh hey, wanna see something cool" and I start doing head over heels around a railing thing. That wastes five minutes. He then starts telling me about his hay fever again and scrapes my name into the wall. I try to get as much tobacco all over my lips so he wont try kiss me, then he trys to so I give him a peck on the lips and he goes "oh I thought id get a lot from a girl like you", and I mutter something about my parents and say I have to go and I wait for 10 minutes on my own outside of Dunnes.

Un-coolest chap ever.

Does he have a sister?

 

[Corey]

I have two sisters.

 

[Scientician 0.8]

A few years back I went on a blind date (never again) after getting out of a long relationship. Basically, I just wanted to go out and have some fun. I was always against blind dates but this time I said, “What the hell, I’ll give it a try.”

I never actually spoke with him but I knew he was quite a few years younger and in grad school. He e-mailed me to say, “Meet me at the Reflecting Pool, I want show you the moon.” Then and there, I should have known this was not a good idea but I was intrigued so I went for the entertainment factor.

I sat reading my book by the reflecting pool when all of a sudden someone grabbed my book. It was him. He grabbed my hand and said, “Lets be on our way.” No hello. Nothing. Just stole my book and dragged me off the bench. Now a sane person would have said something but again I ignored my good sense and just tried to keep up the pace as he walked ahead. About three blocks later he walks into a liquor store, I followed. “We need vodka.” He said. Me, “okay.” He buys a small bottle, takes the bag in one hand and my hand with this other. Again I am dragged a few blocks.

We stop in a small park, which it’s gotten rather dark at this stage. We sit inside an empty park fountain and he just stares at me. I thought about speaking but so far it has been his power trip so I just stare back silently. I figure it’s a bit of a game. Then there were a slew of philosophical (I just read Catcher in the Rye, I wear black on the outside because black is how I feel on the inside) type questions. It took the bottle and start drinking so I could bear the pompous shit coming out of his mouth.

I am sufficiently drunk and the slightest interest I had was waning so I finally ask him what he is studying. He then tells me he is in school for forensic science, specifically autopsies. I take a quick look around and realize there absolutely no one around and we are basically alone. Again I should had listened to my intuition and gone but no, I don’t. He tells me to stand up and I do. He then marks with is hands the lines on the body where he would cut if doing an autopsy on me. Extremely creepy, yet oddly…disturbingly erotic at the same time. I would like to blame that on the alcohol.

So then he says, “We should go.” Again, me, “Okay.” I take his hand and he brings me to his car. It’s only then I realize he hasn’t had anything to drink. I am the only one who has…he starts driving out of the city. I am at this point convinced I am going to be chopped up into pieces for being such an idiot. In my head I make peace with it and take another swig of vodka.

About 20 minutes later he pulls into and old grown-over road. He gets out and tells me to follow. I do. He starts climbing a fence. I am wearing a skirt and clogs but I do the same. Come to find out it’s the old building of an insane asylum and apparently where Sylvia Plath was held. Then there are bright lights and a man saying, “Hold it right there.” It was security.

He runs. He yells at me to run. Mind you, I’m drunk and in a skirt. I scale the fence. We jump in the car while the security man jumps from his truck and tries to unlock the gate. He puts my hand on the shifter then his hand over mine and takes off. The security man follows us down the road. We were going pretty fast and this kid cuts down some back roads and pulls into a long country driveway and turns off the car. We see the security guy go right on by without seeing us. After about 20 minutes, we pull out and he takes me home. Well, many blocks from my home (I lied about here I lived) and ignored every e-mail I got from him again. No more blind dates. Not even for entertainment value.

Pete, is this the biggest word count post ever on Thumped?
Thanks,
Yours sincerely,
The Scientician

 

[killy kill]

Pete, is this the biggest word count post ever on Thumped?
Thanks,
Yours sincerely,
The Scientician

It's like one of Janes posts but good

 

[La La]

Oh lord... how could a chap be so simple. Met him through a friend, have completely nothing in common and he dressed like a skanger.

I knew it was going to go all wrong from the minute we walked into the cinema, it was one of those old seated ones, with seperate seats and single seats. We walk in anyway from one look I cant see any seperate seats. So he walks down to the bottom to sit in a double seat and I walk really fast up to the top to where Ive spotted two single seats. So then he strolls back up and starts telling me about these hay fever tablets hes on... I hear this story three times more...


After we sit down he takes this plastic bag out, he ruffles it so much during the film that some one actually turned around and told him to stay quiet He sat there eating wine gums for the whole thing and laughed really really loudly when no one else was laughing. Chawing away he was. He kept trying to lean into me and I was like.. aww shit what am I going to do now, so I lean in and go "ive to leave at 10.45", then I nearly break my neck retreating. When the film is over we walk outside its 10.30 and Im shitting myself that my parents are late. So I sit down to wait to be collected and he starts the whole leaning in shit again, so I sprang up going "oh hey, wanna see something cool" and I start doing head over heels around a railing thing. That wastes five minutes. He then starts telling me about his hay fever again and scrapes my name into the wall. I try to get as much tobacco all over my lips so he wont try kiss me, then he trys to so I give him a peck on the lips and he goes "oh I thought id get a lot from a girl like you", and I mutter something about my parents and say I have to go and I wait for 10 minutes on my own outside of Dunnes.

Un-coolest chap ever.

that's one of the most amazing things i have ever read. i am also delighted that i went digging for the bad date thread i started a few years ao because you included a shocker of an experience in there too

when i used to live in new zealand i worked in a bar and this really unbelievably hot austrian snowboarder called Dieter used to come in and drink and chat with me, which I was delighted about. he really was so divine to look at and i'd seen him up the hill a few times and he was very fit and fearless which made him even sexier to me. and he was nice and funny and had the accent and we used to flirt in german and it was all fun.
aaaaaaaanyway one day he asked me out to which I of course said yes.
only thing on at the cinema was final destination 2 or some shit, but we went along anyway and it was fun. went for a pint after, sat in front of a roaring fire - it was lovely.
we lived near each other, so we were walking along the lake together under the moonlight with bloody swans and geese going by - you can't make this shit up. i was pinching myself, couldnt believe my luck.
so then we arrived at my place first and he asked could he come up and i said hell yes. we hadn't even kissed yet and the build up was driving me bananas. so up we went to the house and lit the fire and put on Bark Psychosis or something. then we went out to the balcony for a cigarette - where i was living overlooked the lake and the remarkables and everything, all covered in snow - soooooooo amazing. at this stage i'm going crazy to kiss this guy but there's no way La La is making the first move. then suddenly as I was turning to walk back in he kinda leaned out and held my waist and turned me towards him and kissed me...........





























































AND IT WAS THE WORST KISS I HAVE EVER HAD IN MY LIFE. EVEN WORSE THAN MY FIRST WHICH WAS BEHIND THE LEISUREPLEX IN STILLORGAN WITH MY FRIENDS STANDING NEARBY GIGGLING.


honestly. why dieter, why?????

i know we could have been great together - but kissing is the dealbreaker for me. i dated him for another week before ending it - i couldnt change his style and he certainly wasnt changing it himself.

god fucking damnit!!!!!!

i know that seems shallow but if you dont enjoy kissing that person, it's hard to continue...right?