Dates from hell.. (5 Viewers)

[Mormon Nailer]

Dates are a little too American for me. Sure, the Irish thing is to go for PINTS!

However, when I was 16 I went for my one and only 'date'. I met a girl at a party and did the kind of stuff only dirty 16 year olds do. After cleaning up, she suggested we go see a movie. The next day we went to see Star Wars Episode IV - A New Hope: Special Edition. Now you've got to understand that I'm a total nerd and seeing the new special effects for my favourite movie of all time is like looking at the face of God.

Anyway, my date was a frisky wee thing. The whole time she was going in for kisses and I'm thinking to myself 'Fuck's sake, I'm trying to watch the jaysis movie'. She was getting fed up at the lack of attention and so went for the kill. She stuck her hand down my cacks and went for my rocks *just* as the brand new scene came on with Han Solo talking to a CG Jabba the Hut. I slapped her hand away and she got in a huff.

Ah, the foolishness of youth. Nobody will ever give me a wank in a cinema these days.

 

[CitySickness]

She was getting fed up at the lack of attention and so went for the kill. She stuck her hand down my cacks and went for my rocks *just* as the brand new scene came on with Han Solo talking to a CG Jabba the Hut. I slapped her hand away and she got in a huff.

Ah, the foolishness of youth. Nobody will ever give me a wank in a cinema these days.

It's for the best, really. You might have ended up with a Jabba fetish.

 

[Mormon Nailer]

It's for the best, really. You might have ended up with a Jabba fetish.

Well it would go well with my princess lea gold bikini fetish.

 

[Unicron]

nads?

She says it'll make everything look bigger.

 

[theinvisiblerep]

Back in second year of college, a friend of mine shifted some wan in a nightclub. They got talking outside (they way things went back then, you'd shift before saying howya) and, being drunk n follish, decided to go for pints the following Thursday, which was Valentines day.

Off me friend went on his date anyway, and he told us where he was going meeting yer one. My other housemate decided to go drinking in the same bar and hang back to see how things were going (dates weren't in plentiful supply in our house so he probably went for educational purposes). Whilst there, my dateless friend bumped into a girl-friend and after a few drinks, they thought it would be pretty funny to upset yer mans date.

So she walks over to where the two were drinking and shouts 'HEY [friends name], THANKS FOR GIVING ME HERPES YOU BASTARD' which makes the entire bar turn towards him.

Turned out to be the best part of the date for all involved.

 

[ernesto]

Back in second year of college, a friend of mine shifted some wan in a nightclub. They got talking outside (they way things went back then, you'd shift before saying howya) and, being drunk n follish, decided to go for pints the following Thursday, which was Valentines day.

Off me friend went on his date anyway, and he told us where he was going meeting yer one. My other housemate decided to go drinking in the same bar and hang back to see how things were going (dates weren't in plentiful supply in our house so he probably went for educational purposes). Whilst there, my dateless friend bumped into a girl-friend and after a few drinks, they thought it would be pretty funny to upset yer mans date.

So she walks over to where the two were drinking and shouts 'HEY [friends name], THANKS FOR GIVING ME HERPES YOU BASTARD' which makes the entire bar turn towards him.

Turned out to be the best part of the date for all involved.

and then what happened?

 

[Hector Grey]

She says it'll make everything look bigger.

that's some mother you have there. pure gold.

 

[theinvisiblerep]

and then what happened?

The herpe-accusator went back to her table. Yer man on the date said he didnt know what that was about, and his date wasn't particularly bothered. The 'date' ended about 5 mins later and he (the guy on the date) met up with the other 2 for drinks.

Hearty laughs all round after that.

Ain't love grand?

 

[Hector Grey]

A guy I know went on a “date” with a “girl” to a “gig” by some band in a venue known to most people. His ex was there, and she, being prone to “drama” came over to them both as they were talking and tossed her “drink” right into his face. He’d made the cardinal sin of “sleeping” with her after they “split” and clearly she thought that “something” might have transpired from that exchange of “fluids”, as if they had not endured enough already. Needless to say this other “girl” was utterly thrilled to be with such a “hunk” and the ex’s selfless act of bloke-embiggenment caused there to be much triumph riding.

Up to that point it had been a pretty humdrum affair.