Dates from hell.. (7 Viewers)

[Unicron]

Jane, you could have been a Kennedy.

 

[Hector Grey]

... the members only jacket ..

what is this thing?

 

[jane]

what is this thing?

I'm not even opening the page because all the sites that feature these leather artefacts are full of stupid pop ups and dodgy, slow-loading images of dudes with guns.

Basically, all you have to do is picture Vito Spatafore with LESS style and a combover and big, square-framed glasses.

 

[Jill Hives]

It wasn't that he was the same height as me and as wide as he was tall (see also: Vito Spatafore), nor was it the combover or the members only jacket or the chinos pulled up to where his neck should have been.

That is absolutely hilarious. Members only jackets are back in full force now.

No, it was that he was one of the rudest, most unpleasant, obnoxious people I've ever been forced to be polite to.

This reminds me a night that I swear I wouldn't believe, if I hadn't lived through it. If I have time today I'll tell the story.

 

[jane]

Jane, you could have been a Kennedy.

In all fairness, I was blonde at the time, and they really, really don't have a good rate of survival. Also, it was more a, "You should meet [name of guy]. He's great fun and he's single." It was a passing remark more than an actual attempt at an introduction, let alone any sort of courtship.

 

[RSJ]

Basically, all you have to do is picture Vito Spatafore with LESS style and a combover and big, square-framed glasses.

I'd love to go on a date with Vito Spatafore, dude knows how to party!

 

[jane]

That is absolutely hilarious. Members only jackets are back in full force now.

I know. Scary. I fear for the future. I don't know if you ever saw it, or if they did eventually take it down, but as recently as the mid-90s, long after the Members Only heyday, there was a sign in either Axis or Avalon that said, "NO MEMBERS ONLY JACKETS". I felt it was more a general comment about the state of fashion than any anti-gang measure.

This reminds me a night that I swear I wouldn't believe, if I hadn't lived through it. If I have time today I'll tell the story.

I've got a few of those. I'm glad I have the stories, but I'm lucky as fuck that they're well and truly over.

EDIT: Is anyone else confused as to where they should post their 'bad date' stories: in this thread or the 'stupid thread'?

 

[classic seanc]

My mother tried to set me up a few times. In fairness to her, some of them were very nice, but never even progressed to 'date' level. One dude was a physicist, really cute, lovely dude, lived downstairs from her in NY. Unfortunately, they worked together, and it just seemed weird, but he was genuinely lovely. Another dude was a billionaire heir-type who raced cars, and I had no fucking clue what to say to him. He was a nice guy, but it was like talking to someone from a parallel universe, and there just wasn't enough common ground.

BUT the WORST was that by my mid-20s, my market value had clearly plummeted, and she tried to set me up with another guy she worked with. Oh lord. It wasn't that he was the same height as me and as wide as he was tall (see also: Vito Spatafore), nor was it the combover or the members only jacket or the chinos pulled up to where his neck should have been. No, it was that he was one of the rudest, most unpleasant, obnoxious people I've ever been forced to be polite to. That, and the fact that he was a neo-conservative fundamentalist Christian. Now, I've got a bit of a thing for the frisson between me and someone more conservative (one of my only pals in high school was like Michael J Fox on Family Ties, and we had real respect for one another), and often get on well with people like that, but this guy was absolutely unreal.

I had a lovely bunch of friends who made sure that I never had to be alone with him, although there was about a 45 minute gap between 'chaperones'. During that 45 minutes, he went on a big rant about how governments should be privatised and handed over to responsible Christian businessmen to run according to good Christian values, and how corporations were the only trustworthy institutions. Needless to say, I didn't see him again. And when the Enron scandal broke a few short months later, I had a little private giggle over it.

Now, my mom is great and all, but she also suggested I meet a guy she knew when she was in government, who belonged to a family known for their blonde consorts having an unusually high rate of mortality. Who ended up in rehab last year.

Nota bene: sometimes your mother doesn't know what's best for you, despite wishing it to be so.

Jaysus, I couldn't imagine the sort of yokes my mother would set me up with if she was to try. Luckily she's never tried.

Lord.

 

[jane]

Jaysus, I couldn't imagine the sort of yokes my mother would set me up with if she was to try. Luckily she's never tried.

Lord.

The worst part was that she'd pretty much told the guy that I couldn't get a date with a decent fellow to save my life. PLUS, and this was a total coincidence, it was fucking Valentine's Day. Oh lord.

And he really was like a less-attractive, less entertaining version of Vito Spatafore. I dunno if anyone would remember him, but a few people on here would have seen him. He came along to GZ and spent the night pacing back and forth behind me while I was DJing, saying very little, except, "I want a burger".

Really.

 

[Unicron]

Jaysus, I couldn't imagine the sort of yokes my mother would set me up with if she was to try. Luckily she's never tried.

Lord.

I half suspect my mother quite likes the idea of me and her best friend's daughter.

 

[Hector Grey]

I half suspect my mother quite likes the idea of me and her best friend's daughter.

do you think she pictures you riding?

 

[Stan Bowles]

I own not one but two members only jackets. I likes them.

 

[jane]

I own not one but two members only jackets. I likes them.

Do you wear them with loafers and chinos pulled up to your neck?

 

[Stan Bowles]

Do you wear them with loafers and chinos pulled up to your neck?

I do. What's the problem?

 

[jane]

I do. What's the problem?

Just be careful my mom doesn't see you.

 

[Unicron]

do you think she pictures you riding?

She's shown me her sketches.

 

[Hector Grey]

She's shown me her sketches.

are you the bearded man?

 

[Unicron]

are you the bearded man?

She's always at me to shave.

 

[the strange guy]

Dates are a little too American for me. Sure, the Irish thing is to go for PINTS!

However, when I was 16 I went for my one and only 'date'. I met a girl at a party and did the kind of stuff only dirty 16 year olds do. After cleaning up, she suggested we go see a movie. The next day we went to see Star Wars Episode IV - A New Hope: Special Edition. Now you've got to understand that I'm a total nerd and seeing the new special effects for my favourite movie of all time is like looking at the face of God.

Anyway, my date was a frisky wee thing. The whole time she was going in for kisses and I'm thinking to myself 'Fuck's sake, I'm trying to watch the jaysis movie'. She was getting fed up at the lack of attention and so went for the kill. She stuck her hand down my cacks and went for my rocks *just* as the brand new scene came on with Han Solo talking to a CG Jabba the Hut. I slapped her hand away and she got in a huff.

Ah, the foolishness of youth. Nobody will ever give me a wank in a cinema these days.

 

[Hector Grey]

She's always at me to shave.

nads?