Tell me a joke thread (2 Viewers)

[jonah]

WHY?

 

[sleepy]

WHY?

Did you forget the rest of this joke?

 

[jonah]

Did you forget the rest of this joke?

Actually didnt see the spoiler tag in @washingcattle 's post, so I thought he wanted us to say WHY?

 

[Hector Grey]

I literally cannot think of one joke what I know. Other than fuck the bees, and I'm not writing all that down.

 

[jonah]

What kind of a bee makes milk?

a BOO-BEE.

 

[sleepy]

I literally cannot think of one joke what I know. Other than fuck the bees, and I'm not writing all that down.

That's my 2nd favourite joke. After the kiddlies one.

 

[travispickle]

There's another joke ( a bit long) about this world expert on wasps.

he spots an LP in a record shop and asks the assistant if he can hear it. Assistant says " of course" and sticks it on for yer man. After a minute or so, the expert indignantly says to the shop assistant, "I am the world's foremost authority on Wasps, and I can tell you sir, that this record is not a recording of any Wasps that I have ever heard". To which the assistant replies, "oh my mistake sir, I played you the Bee side".

I did say it was a bit long.

 

[washingcattle]

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb ?

Spoiler: CLICK HERE!!!! JONAH

A crow made of flames racing across a desert of clocks beneath a sky of melting arrows shot by a naked woman who has the fur of a a cat covering her body.

 

[sleepy]

Two bee keepers...
BK1: "How many bees have you got?"
BK2: "I've got 10,000 bees”
BK1: "How many hives have you got?"
BK2: "I've got 20 hives"
BK1: "20 hives; 10,000 bees?"
BK2: "Yeah. How may bees have you got?"
BK1: "I've got a million bees"
BK2: "A million bees?!"
BK1: "Yeah"
BK2: "How many hives have you got?"
BK1: "One"
BK2: "A million bees - one hive?"
BK1: "Yeah, fuck 'em, they're only bees"

 

[travispickle]

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb ?

Spoiler: CLICK HERE!!!! JONAH

A crow made of flames racing across a desert of clocks beneath a sky of melting arrows shot by a naked woman who has the fur of a a cat covering her body.

or an alternative answer to that - the fish.

 

[therealjohnny]

What kind of Bee gives milk?

A boo-bee

 

[jonah]

What kind of Bee gives milk?

A boo-bee

hey hey! that's my material!

 

[therealjohnny]

Oops

 

[jonah]

Arite Dennis Leary!

 

[hermie]

In a similar vein to the OP:

How many arseholes does Kirk Douglas have?

3. His arse, his chin and his son

 

[hermie]

Of the Fringe ones from the past few years the one I really like was

A woman walks into a bar and asks for a double entendre. So the barman gave her one

 

[Jim Daniels]

Whats red and invisible?

 

[Jim Daniels]

No tomatoes

 

[dudley]

Round my house these days this is a classic.

Knock knock

Who's there?

I did a puh

I did a puh-who?


AHAHAHHAAHAHAH YOU STINK

 

[Diumraid]

A man walks into a seaside bar and shortly after sitting down with his drink he notices a man at the bar who has a satsuma for a head. After mustering a little courage he approaches the man who, graciously cuts to the chase .. 'I know what you're going to ask - it's the same old story .. I was marooned on a desert island during the war and after a long time of isolation I found a mermaid washed up on the shore ... I placed her back in the water, hoping, as you would, that she'd be grateful. She said 'you can have three wishes' ... I said 'I want to go home'. She said 'you will wake up there tomorrow'. I said 'I want to be rich and never want for anything again'. She said 'Done!, and what is your third wish?', so I looked at her and she looked pretty good and I said 'Listen, I've been alone on this island for a long time ... can I please have a satsuma for a head?'