Tell me a joke thread (2 Viewers)

[Cormcolash]

Dead baby joke

 

[sleepy]

Greatest one ever, isn't that right @old

I think it might have been yourself that told me it.

 

[sleepy]

I changed my password on my PC and it asked me for 8 characters. So I put in snow white and the seven dwarfs (that was a winner at the Edinburgh Festival folks!!)
.

Did you hear the winner at this year's Edinburgh festival?

I've sold my vacuum cleaner.
It was just collecting dust.

 

[therealjohnny]

Scottish Independence | Page 2 | thumped.com

 

[rettucs]

why did monkey fall out of the tree?

cos it was dead



why did the girl fall off the swing?

cos she had no arms

 

[Moods For Mallards]

At least we don't litigate against each other!

 

[Moods For Mallards]

Bad taste joke:

Spoiler

What's the difference between a bag of coke and a baby?

Person X wouldn't let a bag of coke fall out the window!!

 

[travispickle]

Did you hear the winner at this year's Edinburgh festival?

I've sold my vacuum cleaner.
It was just collecting dust.

hehe, yes, good one

 

[travispickle]

Another Edinburgh Fringe one -
"I was in a band which we called The Prevention, because we hoped people would say we were better than The Cure.”

 

[7 - No tomorrow]

Why can't Stevie Wonder see his friends?





He's married.

 

[7 - No tomorrow]

I hate jokes really.

 

[Hector Grey]

I forget jokes. I hear them. I chuckle. I forget, instantly.

I hate comedy. there's too much on tv. Too many fucking Russells talking to the screen. "Have you seen these HD televisions they have now? You can see everything really clearly. Isn't that amusing. old people look older because you can see that they've aged." A room full of brain death: HA HA HA. It's so true. Things look clearer. HA HA HA.

Fuck comedy.

 

[dudley]

I think it might have been yourself that told me it.

i did? wait a minute. are you a....Moore?

 

[dudley]

why did monkey fall out of the tree?

cos it was dead

Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree?

Some fucker stapled it to the dead monkey

 

[dudley]

most of the jokes i can remember, i wish i didn't

sick sick sick

 

[mark]

Why can't Stevie Wonder see his friends?





He's married.

I'm at home on my own and I very nearly choked on my lunch laughing that this. IT WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN TOO FUNNY HAD I DIED WOULD IT???? Still, might have given the Guards a chuckle.

 

[sleepy]

i did? wait a minute. are you a....Moore?

I am. The youngest

 

[travispickle]

How does Bob Marley like his doughnuts?
With jam in.
How do his friends like theirs?
They like jam in too.

 

[dudley]

I am. The youngest

this changes *everything*

 

[washingcattle]

Why did Karl Marx only drink Herbal Tea ?

Spoiler: Punchline

Because all proper tea is theft