Tell me a joke thread (1 Viewer)

[hydromancer]

I guess there are interesting to study I don't eat calamari because they are so biologically complex

 

[Reets]

It’s ok, most of it is pigs anus now, so no sea critters harmed in the making of that deliciously anally snack.

 

[magicbastarder]

Skip to 4:45 for the relevant bit.

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[pete]

I guess there are interesting to study I don't eat calamari because they are so biologically complex

Are animals conscious? Some scientists now think they are

A series of experiments have led a number of scientists to say animals may be conscious.

www.bbc.com

 

[magicbastarder]

Skip to 4:45 for the relevant bit.

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I should have mentioned that this is about octopuses. A good hearty story about one.

 

[nooleen]

An Irishman walks up to a building site looking for a job. The foreman says "alright paddy, I'll give you a job if you can tell me the difference between 'joist' and 'girder'."
The Irish man says "that's easy, Joist wrote Ulysses and Girder wrote Faust"

 

[dudley]

What did the magician say to the fisherman?

Pick a cod, any cod

 

[ann post]

 

[Jill Hives]

What do you call a chicken staring at a salad?

Spoiler

Chicken Sees-a-Salad

 

[sleepy]

View attachment 18958

I heard William Shatner was going to bring out a line of women’s underwear.

But nobody wanted to buy Shatner Pants

 

[therealjohnny]

An Irishman walks up to a building site looking for a job. The foreman says "alright paddy, I'll give you a job if you can tell me the difference between 'joist' and 'girder'."
The Irish man says "that's easy, Joist wrote Ulysses and Girder wrote Faust"

An American walks into a bar in Dublin and says, "Say barkeep, let's have some of that famous Irish wit I've heard about"

Barman replies;

"Certainly sir, will that be dry or sparkling?"

 

[Kermit McDermott]

Who is the most popular country music singer in Afghanistan?

Sharia Twain.

 

[Cormcolash]

Man, I feel like oppressing a woman

 

[seanc]

What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is a big fat animal. The other is a little lighter.

 

[Kermit McDermott]

What is the latin for a Scottish vulcan?


Spockus Jockus

 

[snakybus]

View attachment 18917

Are animals conscious? Some scientists now think they are

A series of experiments have led a number of scientists to say animals may be conscious.

www.bbc.com

Wtf, is sentience a thing? Is consciousness a thing?

If it just means "can feel stuff" as it seems to me then of course they are. So are woodlice and beavers and mussels and sea urchins, to one degree or another.

(That's not a dig at you, Pete, just the folks on that site asking this question.)

(Where's Egg when you need him.)

 

[pete]

Beastie Boys dismantled their gold record plaque,it didn't contain their music | Hacker News

news.ycombinator.com

 

[GARYXKNIFEDX]

You could likely tell by looking at the grooves on the record.

 

[Cornu Ammonis]

You could likely tell by looking at the grooves on the record.

That’s what gave the game away.

 

[GARYXKNIFEDX]

That's what I get for not reading the article then