Tell me a joke thread (2 Viewers)

[therealjohnny]

 

[therealjohnny]

Joke I heard last night.

How does a transgender person murder someone?



They slash them

How do non-binary people kill people?

They/Them.

guys. we need to get aligned here.

 

[sleepy]

guys. we need to get aligned here.

@seanc got more likes for his. It’s the internet equivalent of someone getting more laughs for telling the exact same joke you did 2 minutes earlier

 

[therealjohnny]

@seanc got more likes for his. It’s the internet equivalent of someone getting more laughs for telling the exact same joke you did 2 minutes earlier

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[Kermit McDermott]

I was in a delli recently and asked for an LGBT sandwich instead of a BLT sandwich.

I won't make that mistake again.

 

[seanc]

Cheese jokes I've strangely never heard before:

What's the most punk cheese?
Just don't give edam.

What did the cheese say to itself in the mirror?
Halloumi.

 

[seanc]

..

 

[nuke terrorist]

I was in a delli recently and asked for an LGBT sandwich instead of a BLT sandwich.

I won't make that mistake again.

Yeah, salad would be better for you.

 

[Kermit McDermott]

Why can't rappers be vegetarians?


Because they are always having beef.

 

[seanc]

@seanc got more likes for his. It’s the internet equivalent of someone getting more laughs for telling the exact same joke you did 2 minutes earlier

Strangely, this came up today.
You maybe saw the joke as "They slash them".

I read the joke as "they end them". And I don't think I'm alone in thinking that. Sorry, we had different jokes, which is interesting in itself. But now that we've salted the earth on that joke, let's move on.

What does a nosey pepper do?
It gets jalapeño business.

 

[sleepy]

Strangely, this came up today.
You maybe saw the joke as "They slash them".

I read the joke as "they end them". And I don't think I'm alone in thinking that. Sorry, we had different jokes, which is interesting in itself. But now that we've salted the earth on that joke, let's move on.

What does a nosey pepper do?
It gets jalapeño business.

I like that pepper joke. I just told my wife and son. I laughed. They didn’t

 

[Jerry Twig]

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten tickles.

 

[therealjohnny]

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten tickles.

Of course it only has 8 of those.

So the first two were test-tickles

 

[dudley]

Of course it only has 8 of those.

So the first two were test-tickles

I thank you, that has my son roaring laughing and telling all his mates on xbox chat this morning

 

[Jerry Twig]

Of course it only has 8 of those.

So the first two were test-tickles

I see you’ve played knifey-spooney before….

 

[Cornu Ammonis]

Of course it only has 8 of those.

So the first two were test-tickles

An octopus doesn’t have any tentacles. This joke is broken.

 

[ann post]

yeah it has octacles

 

[Cornu Ammonis]

yeah it has octacles

No, it has arms. Tentacles only have suckers at the end and an octopus has them going up the arms.

 

[hydromancer]

Wait a minute I have two arms and no suckers on them at all who gets to make up these rules

 

[magicbastarder]

You have the right to bare arms.