Minor complaints thread (30 Viewers)

[Unicron]

"you rotten looking cunt *"

My girlfriend has a new nickname for me.

 

[Cormcolash]

I'll start this by saying that I'll admit that my behaviour wasn't entirely flawless but the escalation seems disproportionate.

Was driving out of town on the north circular about an hour ago. As you approach the church at Phibsborough the lane narrows from 2 to 1, or 1.5, there needs to be some merging anyway. I was on the left hand side and a large 141 merc merged in ahead of me, cutting me off really, I had to brake to avoid hitting them.

Tapped the horn.

The driver brake tested me, which is what I consider to be one of the most stupid and dangerous things you can do when driving.

I had to brake to, for a second time, not hit them because of their bad driving.

I gave them the finger.

They brake tested me again.

For a third time, I don't get into a car crash. I can't remember if it was the first or second time they hit the brakes but on one occasion they moved in on me as they did it.

At that stage we were at the fork in the road at the church, they were going right, I was going left.

As I came to pass by I could see that they had their window down.

I rolled my window down. I was annoyed.

Expecting to see a middle aged man driving a large 141 Merc I was a little surprised to find that I was calling, in a raised voice but not screaming in rage, "you cut me off twice" at a woman of about 30.

I drove on down the left fork, and noticed that she had swapped lanes and was now following me down the road, there was one car in between us.

I drove on for about 1km and got to a traffic lights that were red.

She overtook the car between us, blocking the opposite lane and pulled up beside me and had her window down ready to go.

Screaming (selected highlights) ...

"you picked the wrong fuckin person to give the finger to, never do that to me again"

"you rotten looking cunt *"

"you're fucking disgusting"

All I said to her in response, quieter than before was, "you're dangerous" or something like that but regarding * I'll go to bed tonight regretting not having the presence of mind to tell her that I'm way more fuckable than she is.

Having got it off her chest she sped off, turning right up at Hanlon's corner.

As I said, maybe I could have been a bit more chill over their first piece of bad driving, but if you fuck up like that you should expect to get beeped. She lost the head entirely.

Was it Joan Burton?

 

[Cormcolash]

Just to back myself up here. From the people who make the things explaining that it's their intended purpose to reduce the number of employees:

"Reduce the payroll costs
Self-Checkouts make it possible to serve the customer better with less staff involvement. One staff member can take care of multiple self-checkouts simultaneously. Therefore, it is possible to reduce payroll costs."

Benefits of Self-Checkout for Retailers

Self-checkout allow consumers to register and pay for their purchases unassisted. Benefits of Self-Checkout for Retailers

www.retailsolutions.ie

"Decreased costs and
increased sales
It is possible to readjust the functions of cashiers to other activities. It contributes to the reduction of costs with operations and increase the usage flow of the available self-checkout kiosks."

SelfCashy | PARTTEAM & OEMKIOSKS

Thinking on the customer satisfaction. The SELFCASHY digital kiosks is designed for use indoors and to function as a self-service kiosk.

oemkiosks.com

I'd much rather work at monitoring self service checkouts than actually have to work on the checkout. Nobody wants to work on the till in the supermarket, at least if you're just monitoring you only have to actually deal with like 1 in 10 of the cunstomers

 

[Cormcolash]

I meet the odd person who has an irrational hatred of german supermarkets.

Wierdos.

I wouldn't go to Lidl until they got the self service checkouts in, because before that there'd be 2-3 checkout lanes open and you'd have to fuckin try and guess which one wouldn't have some stupid cunt that was going to start taking a shit on the conveyor belt in front of you, and then by the time you did get through the queue as soon as you get to the front they'd open another lane right beside you. I can't fucking handle those kind of queues, they drive me mad. The Cineworld popcorn queues are the fucking same, absolute fucking wank. Actually the GPO often has these kind of queues as well, 'Guess The Counter' queues. It's this kind of shit that really makes Michael Douglas a hero.

 

[Cormcolash]

On a similar note - hahaha. So you know when you go to use an ATM, and there's someone in front of you using it, so you're waiting for them to finish. And sometimes they're quick, sometimes they're slow, whatever, but anyway, they get their shit done and their card pops out. AND THEN THEY PUT THE FUCKING THING BACK IN AGAIN.

I was queuing behind some woman at an ATM in Dunnes one afternoon when they did this. They were being slow as fuck anyway, and then as soon as the card went back in, I just let out a massive "FOR FUCK SAKE" and walked out hahaha

 

[Cormcolash]

shoaling? you pass a slower cyclist 100m or 200m from a junction, get to the lights, and they cycle past you and plonk themselves back in front of you. rinse and repeat.

I actually did this in Lidl one day, kind of.
I was waiting in the queue, think there was just one person getting served and then me, and this fuckin mutant comes and stands right in front of me in the gap I'd left between me and the person getting served because I try not to lick people's necks in queues.
Anyway so I didn't say a word, then I timed it perfectly and as soon as the person getting served started to turn their body to move off, I went right around the mutant into the new tiny gap, plonked my stuff down, and got myself served before them. Fuck that was satisfying (and hilarious)

 

[Cormcolash]

Fuck it I'm gonna make a contemporary Falling Down from this thread

 

[Cormcolash]

Couple of weeks ago I was getting the Luas, Green Line one this surprisingly.
I got on, and it was fairly full in the part of the tram I got on, so I moved down the walkway to the next doorway down where there was more space. So there's some oul cunt passed out in an aisle seat as I'm moving past, nobody in the window seat beside this cunt because he's off his head on whatever shit he's on, lad looks about 60 like and is out of it sleeping on the Luas at 2pm.
Anyway he's sprawled over half of the walkway, but I just don't care any more, I barged right the fuck past him. Guess I woke him up, cause he comes to and looks at me (I'm now standing in the fairly clear spot that's only a few feet in front of him) and calls me a knacker in his slurred speak. I got him to repeat it, then I called him a knacker and told him that was a walkway, not a sleepway.
So he's totally off his head, but of course he's gonna stand up now and tell me that "I'll pay for that" apparently. Think he was trying to pretend he might have knife in his pocket or something, haha, but like this lad was proper wasted, if he had produced one he would probably just stab himself by mistake. So I gave him a nice oul Paddy Considine Dead Man's Shoes "Oooooh!" cause like it's not like this cunt can even walk without staggering right now. Coming up to the next Luas stop, he starts doing this kicking the air beside me thing, hahaha, pure Bart vs Lisa Simpsons thing. He gets another "Oooooh!" hahaha. Then he actually hits me in the chest a bunch of times. Like he probably thinks these are punches, it's more like a child trying to hit you, but ya know. So the door opens at the next Luas stop and he's standing in front of it, so fuck it, I just booted him out just before the doors closed so that they would close right in his face.
Young lad behind me was pissing himself laughing, other people on the Luas looked a bit shocked or something, I just had a good chuckle. FUCK EM!

 

[Denny Oubidoux]

All the sniffling, sneezing and coughing on the bus

 

[Space]

I'd much rather work at monitoring self service checkouts than actually have to work on the checkout. Nobody wants to work on the till in the supermarket, at least if you're just monitoring you only have to actually deal with like 1 in 10 of the cunstomers

Cuntsomers would have been a better typo there.

 

[Anthony]

I wouldn't go to Lidl until they got the self service checkouts in, because before that there'd be 2-3 checkout lanes open and you'd have to fuckin try and guess which one wouldn't have some stupid cunt that was going to start taking a shit on the conveyor belt in front of you, and then by the time you did get through the queue as soon as you get to the front they'd open another lane right beside you. I can't fucking handle those kind of queues, they drive me mad. The Cineworld popcorn queues are the fucking same, absolute fucking wank. Actually the GPO often has these kind of queues as well, 'Guess The Counter' queues. It's this kind of shit that really makes Michael Douglas a hero.

The only solution is ONE queue that splits off to MULTIPLE checkouts.

Same shit at traffic merging. Zipper System.

 

[nuke terrorist]

I caused a minor supermarket problem today.
Thought I had 12.20 on me. So shopping came to 11.68 but I actually only had 11.20! Had to tell them to keep a doppelpack of courgettes but thankfully I only delayed the folks behind by 15-20 seconds.

 

[Unicron]

The only solution is ONE queue that splits off to MULTIPLE checkouts.

Same shit at traffic merging. Zipper System.

I had a module in college that was to do with queuing theory.

Interesting stuff.

Can't remember a bit of it now.

 

[chris d]

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I dunno if i've got 1hour 40 minutes to spare, but the first 20 minutes of this is interesting.

 

[pete]

I caused a minor supermarket problem today.
Thought I had 12.20 on me. So shopping came to 11.68 but I actually only had 11.20! Had to tell them to keep a doppelpack of courgettes but thankfully I only delayed the folks behind by 15-20 seconds.

You monster

 

[seanc]

I caused a minor supermarket problem today.
Thought I had 12.20 on me. So shopping came to 11.68 but I actually only had 11.20! Had to tell them to keep a doppelpack of courgettes but thankfully I only delayed the folks behind by 15-20 seconds.

Him with the doppelpack of courgettes.

 

[David Kronenbourg]

whatsapp down and i was in the middle of a funny post to the group chat

 

[Space]

whatsapp down and i was in the middle of a funny post to the group chat

It's back.

 

[therealjohnny]

Him with the doppelpack of courgettes.

notions


it's a brace of marrows

 

[Anthony]

Heavy Metal new website Blabbermouth has just implemented an extra level of dumb google advertising. I hope their click rate falls off a cliff.