Jokes Thread (1 Viewer)

[clonan attack]

its like the CUrb yr Enthusiasm with "the BLANK from hell"

richard Lewis coined that phrase ya know?

 

[nofriendo]

[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Dear No Friendo[/font]

[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]It has come to my attention that you have made an unauthorized use of my copyrighted work entitled "Harlods cross joke" (the "Work") in the preparation of a work derived therefrom. I have reserved all rights in the Work, first published in [date], [and have registered copyright therein]. Your work entitled "why did malahide" is essentially identical to the Work and clearly used the Work as its basis. [/font]

[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]As you neither asked for nor received permission to use the Work as the basis for your joke nor to make or distribute copies, including electronic copies, of same, I believe you have willfully infringed my rights under 17 U.S.C. Section 101 et seq. and could be liable for statutory damages as high as €150,000 and a pound of flesh nearest the heart as set forth in Section 504(c)(2) therein.[/font]

[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]I demand that you immediately cease the use and distribution of all infringing works derived from the Work, and all copies, including electronic copies, of same, that you deliver to me, if applicable, all unused, undistributed copies of same, or destroy such copies immediately and that you desist from this or any other infringement of my rights in the future. If I have not received an affirmative response from you by lunchtime indicating that you have fully complied with these requirements, I shall take further action against you.[/font]

[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Very truly yours,[/font]

c0de_n1nja

Dear Mr. Ninja,

Further to our conversation in relation to ownership of said joke, i must inform you due to my fathers relationship with Carol Vorderman and my subsequent birth i have obtained full copyright of all vowels currently in use. Therefore i must present you with a bill for the use of 421 vowels in your previous post. At the current rate of €1,000 per vowel you will owe €421,000.
Please forward this at your earliest convenience.
Yours,

Nofriendo

p.s. My staff are currently reviewing all post by said Mr. Ninja to calculate full sum for all posts

 

[broken arm]

Dear Mr. Ninja,

Further to our conversation in relation to ownership of said joke, i must inform you due to my fathers relationship with Carol Vorderman and my subsequent birth i have obtained full copyright of all vowels currently in use. Therefore i must present you with a bill for the use of 421 vowels in your previous post. At the current rate of €1,000 per vowel you will owe €421,000.
Please forward this at your earliest convenience.
Yours,

Nofriendo

p.s. My staff are currently reviewing all post by said Mr. Ninja to calculate full sum for all posts

death blow

 

[Beak]

not really a joke, but a funny photo of Brianoak i got over the weekend! Hes a funny fucker!!!

http://www.ichorradas.com/details.php?image_id=151

well, that's me fired, thanks!

 

[Beak]

What has two legs and bleeds?

Half a dog

 

[Lefty Frizzell]

Whats the worst thing about rollerblading?

Tellin your ma that you're gay.

 

[Vinnie]

I made this up a while ago.


Why did the scythe cross the road?
To get to the other scythe.

 

[Osama Van Halen]

I made this up a while ago.


Why did the scythe cross the road?
To get to the other scythe.

MY SCYTHES ARE SPLITTIN' HERE WIT THE MIRTH.....

 

[Corey]

MY SCYTHES ARE SPLITTIN' HERE WIT THE MIRTH.....

Vinnie and his razor-sharp wit; cuts me up every time. ARF.

 

[Beak]

What's the best way to stop a child crying?

Cum in it's mouth.

 

[c0De_n1NjA]

What's the best way to stop a child crying?

Cum in it's mouth.

Good Gag. heheh. see what i did there?

 

[egg_]

The only joke I've heard in the last 5 years that made me laugh is this one:

What to John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have in common?

Same middle name

 

[egg_]

... and I hate all jokes where the punchline is one of the following:

- people have sex
- <some group of people> are stupid
- homosexuals are <something>
- women belong in the kitchen