Is Kevin Myers racist? (2 Viewers)

[jane]

Guess who wants to fuck a mouse?

http://www.independent.ie/opinion/c...vers-with-a-bookish-mighty-mouse-1217647.html

He knows it must be female (teenage, in fact) because he wants to fuck the shit out of it.

 

[Mormon Nailer]

There are other reasons for disliking mice. They are rectally incontinent, and leave a dribble of pee wherever they go. Their destruction of grain-stores is why the Egyptians worshipped cats.

Does he not mean renally incontinent here?

 

[flashback]

Does he not mean renally incontinent here?

No. What he says makes sense.
They have no control over where they poo. And they dribble wee about the place.


How I chortled while exploring Kevin's whimsical side.
It goes to show in some ways he is just like one of us, however blessed with sublime turn of phrase he might be!

Sigh, as Corey once sagely said, to be allowed wank in that man's shadow...

 

[jane]

No. What he says makes sense.
They have no control over where they poo. And they dribble wee about the place.


How I chortled while exploring Kevin's whimsical side.
It goes to show in some ways he is just like one of us, however blessed with sublime turn of phrase he might be!

Sigh, as Corey once sagely said, to be allowed wank in that man's shadow...

One of us? A guy who imagined a mouse as a nubile, tawny-haired teen girl so that he could justify his burning desire to fuck it in a dirty teapot?

I'll bet the end of that thing is a lie. And if it's not a lie, I'll bet he fucked the teapot. Yeah, this Man of the People stood in the garden, astride the gravel walkway out to the rockery, basking in the same silvery moonlight that warmed the soldiers at the Somme, and....

 

[magicbastarder]

good to see he's got his finger on the pulse.
though you have to admire his taking the piss out of his paymasters like that.

 

[jane]

good to see he's got his finger on the pulse.
though you have to admire his taking the piss out of his paymasters like that.

No, no, I will not admire a man who stood out in his back garden in his stocking feet and fucked a mouldy teapot to satisfy his sexy mouse fetish.

 

[magicbastarder]

at least it's sexy mice he has a fetish for. if it was plain mice, it'd just be disturbing.

 

[jane]

at least it's sexy mice he has a fetish for. if it was plain mice, it'd just be disturbing.

If she was a single African mother mouse, one of those pram-hoarding baby-leaking planet-destroying, disease-riddled spongers -- that would make him a total hypocrite. As long as she was a pretty little white girl mouse who appreciates the poetry of John Betjeman, that's totally fine. What self-respecting mousefucker wouldn't do a rodentian Kiera Knightley?

 

[Unicron]

No, no, I will not admire a man who stood out in his back garden in his stocking feet and fucked a mouldy teapot to satisfy his sexy mouse fetish.

That's a real niche porn genre just waiting to my invented right there.

 

[jane]

That's a real niche porn genre just waiting to my invented right there.

Ahem.

Is there something you're not telling us?

Bet it already exists, though. Dare you to google 'fetish club sexy teapot touching mouse fucker'.

 

[flashback]

One of us? A guy who imagined a mouse as a nubile, tawny-haired teen girl so that he could justify his burning desire to fuck it in a dirty teapot?

I mean... ehh... that, like. That em. That... some fuck hacked into my account!

Total mayhem! I have changed all the passwords. I should be ok again now.

I'll bet the end of that thing is a lie. And if it's not a lie, I'll bet he fucked the teapot. Yeah, this Man of the People stood in the garden, astride the gravel walkway out to the rockery, basking in the same silvery moonlight that warmed the soldiers at the Somme, and....

That thing about her being amenable? You think he would just lash it into her anyway, engaging in underage mouse sex, amenable or not? Because that's a very serious allegation Jane.
A very serious allegation.


Although, if the mouse was 15, its technically rape either way I suppose. Assuming human law extends to mice.

 

[Unicron]

Ahem.

Is there something you're not telling us?

Jesus, my typing is bad normally but this whole 4 hours sleep a night thing I've been doing for a week or so is catching up with me badly.

 

[jane]

That thing about her being amenable? You think he would just lash it into her anyway, engaging in underage mouse sex, amenable or not? Because that's a very serious allegation Jane.
A very serious allegation.


Although, if the mouse was 15, its technically rape either way I suppose. Assuming human law extends to mice.

But Myers has a handy way around that, which he detailed in a column he wrote several years ago about how rape was just made up by feminists to get back at men. That other bit is assuming the age of consent for mice is the same as for humans. Maybe we could check that (now proved UNTRUE) site about how to tell if a dolphin wants to sex you. Might be something on there about terrestrial mammals.

Regardless, no man is a teapot, so that's all go.

 

[jane]

Mmmmm.... sexy teapot mice touching...mmmm...YEAH...4 hours a night for a week.

I'll say!

 

[Lili Marlene]

Maybe we could check that (now proved UNTRUE) site about how to tell if a dolphin wants to sex you. Might be something on there about terrestrial mammals.

Regardless, no man is a teapot, so that's all go.

WHAT WHAT WHAT

 

[flashback]

At this point now, I will have to admit I haven't a fucking clue what's going on.



If there was ever a thread in need of the wisdom of The Conniffe, its here, and its now.



Do mice have periods by the way?
Do they leak out all over the shop too?

 

[Denny Oubidoux]

is everything ok?

 

[jane]

WHAT WHAT WHAT

We learned from other websites that a dolphin does not have a prehensile penis and that a lot of the stuff in that zoophilia site wasn't true. It is still probably a good idea not to let a male dolphin ride you, though, partly because you might drown. There was that story about the man who has a job working with dolphins who likes to go down there at night and romance them, but I'm still not sure I believe it. I feel like such a cynic.

Anyway, I thought I heard a mouse in the house last night.

"Uh oh," I said.

"What?" said Mr Jane.

"I think we have a mouse. It sounds like it's in the cupboard where the boiler is." Due to some sort of architectural weirdness, the boiler is actually in the master bedroom.

A pause. "No, I think that's just rain."

I'd forgotten what rain sounded like. Can you believe that? It's been so long since it rained properly that it was no longer a sound I immediately identified.

"Shit," I said, just before rolling over to go back to sleep. "I was gonna fuck the shit out of it."

"Oh, dear, will I bring you the teapot?"

No, I thought, the moment has passed, and besides, it's raining, which is shit.

 

[mark]

We learned from other websites that a dolphin does not have a prehensile penis and that a lot of the stuff in that zoophilia site wasn't true. It is still probably a good idea not to let a male dolphin ride you, though, partly because you might drown. There was that story about the man who has a job working with dolphins who likes to go down there at night and romance them, but I'm still not sure I believe it. I feel like such a cynic.

Anyway, I thought I heard a mouse in the house last night.

"Uh oh," I said.

"What?" said Mr Jane.

"I think we have a mouse. It sounds like it's in the cupboard where the boiler is." Due to some sort of architectural weirdness, the boiler is actually in the master bedroom.

A pause. "No, I think that's just rain."

I'd forgotten what rain sounded like. Can you believe that? It's been so long since it rained properly that it was no longer a sound I immediately identified.

"Shit," I said, just before rolling over to go back to sleep. "I was gonna fuck the shit out of it."

"Oh, dear, will I bring you the teapot?"

No, I thought, the moment has passed, and besides, it's raining, which is shit.

strangest post i've read in a while. nice one jane.

 

[cephalopod]

The force of a male dolphin's ejaculation is such that it is recommended for any humans engaging in penetrative sex with the species should ensure the dolphin has withdrawn before ejaculation occurs.