Dublin Fucking Bus! (3 Viewers)

[Anthony]

I'd be fucked without a car. But then I don't work or live in towun. er, but when I did.... the rothar was the one (jeez, i was fit then, sigh)

 

[silo]

when i was working in carrickmines, there was a group of about forty people who used to have to get the bus from town - and various other points along the way - out to carrickmines. the driver of the 8.10 am no. 63 bus is a legendary cunt who even the other drivers think is a nutbag. (he's stocky, has a greying moustache and greying hair and big glasses. know him, anyone?) they call him "the bear" because he's so agressive and generally nuts. he used to refuse to let people onto the bus if they had a coffee with them, so he used to pull up into fleet street and everyone would put their o'briens styrofoam cups into their pockets and walk onto the bus in a curiously straight-backed fashion so they didn't spill any of the contraband material. the dublin bus guy who stands in fleet street checking that buses leave according to timetable (lovely guy) used to tell us to smuggle coffee on, because he hated this other guy so much. the bear regularly used to skip stops and drive off early or without people. it became an excuse: "why are you late?" "the bear." "oh, okay."

anyway, we trapped him one morning when he was on his way back into town. we started driving a j.c.b. across the road just as he was coming back down the hill. then another j.c.b. then wheelbarrows, and people, and cars, and anything else we had. and everybody stood around. holding coffee.

 

[herv]

Originally posted by silo


anyway, we trapped him one morning when he was on his way back into town. we started driving a j.c.b. across the road just as he was coming back down the hill. then another j.c.b. then wheelbarrows, and people, and cars, and anything else we had. and everybody stood around. holding coffee.

hahahahahahahhahahahahhaaahhahhahhaa!

 

[billygannon]

Originally posted by Dan

During the bus strikes a few years ago (before I had the bike) I was queing for a taxi in rathmines. I was way down the back of the que. A german girl was next in line and when a taxi pulled up she asked did anyone want to share a taxi to tallaght. I recognised loads of people in the que from my bus who were going the same place as me, but not one of them took up the offer. They had to get their OWN taxi. Fine by me...I skipped about ten people in the que!!! But I think a major attitude change is needed.

I used to do the same... just before I got into the taxi I'd see if anyone was going my direction. People generally went along with it... but apparently this is illegal... bloody hell. I wish I was living in the Wild West... where Billy was a name to fear.

 

[krystal]

Originally posted by silo
the driver of the 8.10 am no. 63 bus is a legendary cunt who even the other drivers think is a nutbag. (he's stocky, has a greying moustache and greying hair and big glasses. know him, anyone?) they call him "the bear" because he's so agressive and generally nuts.

There are many of these cunts employed by Dublin Bus - I give you Rat Face. Rat Face is a leathery brown faced sour arsed cunt who drives the 67 at about .06mph thus taking about 2 hours to get into town - on a good day. Rat Face is such a curmudgenly old fuck, you always knew if the bus was really fucking late that that wanker was driving it and you could look forward to hours and hours of boredom while he took his fucking time making everyone using the service wildly late. Grr Argh. Even after all these years the thought of Rat Face makes me go into a rage

 

[talkingllama]

The thing about dublin bus drivers is that how cynical and bitter they are is relatively proportionate to how many years they've been a bus driver.

it's quite sad actually. The young drivers can be quite nice and polite but you know that in twenty years time when they're still doing the same job, their sadistic side kicks in.

 

[krystal]

I also love DB's concept of customer service and the fact that they don't seem to have ever realised that the actual driver is the front line representation of the entire company.

For example, bus not turning up, me waiting 40 mins for next bus and then asking the driver what had happened to the previous one:

me: what happened to the 2.50 bus?
Cunt Driver: oi am de tree turty bus
me: yeah I know, but what happned to the last bus?
CD: OI AM DE TREE TURTY BUS
me: yes, I realise that - I'm just asking you why it didn't turn up
CD -
OI AM DE TREE TURTY BUS

etc etc

 

[silo]

"can everyone please get off this bus and onto the one infront": i always liked that one. so random. so arbitrary. so inexplicable.

pat ingoldsby has a great poem that goes "nobody fucks your day like dublin bus". that's it. busrage.com has "it's time for an exact change" as one of their slogans. chortle.

 

[krystal]

or the way the 16 sits for a fucking age in Parnell sq while they change drivers. Driver typically doesn't bother his swiss turning up on time and when he does, takes about an hour to get his shit together, leading to a balkans style build up of animosity among the passengers directed at the lovely ways of Dublin Bus.

Irish rail is no better - they've dredged up the leaf slip excuse again this year, I am pleased to note as I am late for work every fucking morning.

 

[Dan]

The slogan that cracks me up is " We're not there yet, but we're gettiing there" by irish rail. To be honest, thats still gross misinformation.

I had the same problem as you kirstie the other day. Bus (50)doesn't show at 7.10. I get on another bus (65b) thats a little out of my way and pay. 7.10 bus pulls up. I ask the driver can I use my ticket on that bus since thats the one I want. His reply..."This is the 7.20 bus" Yes I know that but can I get on the other one using this receipt? "This is the 7.20 bus". By the third or fourth time I was told about 7.20 the other bus had gone anyway.

 

[Burgerbarbaby]

Originally posted by kirstie
me: what happened to the 2.50 bus?
Cunt Driver: oi am de tree turty bus
me: yeah I know, but what happned to the last bus?
CD: OI AM DE TREE TURTY BUS
me: yes, I realise that - I'm just asking you why it didn't turn up
CD -
OI AM DE TREE TURTY BUS

etc etc

That looks like great fun. Bullheaded pig ignorance. Deadly. Gotta try it someday.

 

[madouva]

...or the BEST one...

(in Granny from the Golden Girls stylee...)
PICTURE THIS...

You're seriously late for work. Sprint to bus stop, no change in pocket. Sprint to shop, by anything, simply for the busfare. Sprint to bus stop, to see bus pulling away in distance. Curse like a gipsy. Turn around...and lo and behold...a knight in (manky, graffiti covered) shining armour (another bus) pulls up (but parks 10 feet from stop). The day is saved. Light up, smoke furiously. Ponder running to other bus route stop, but have faith in the knight. Light a second. Become impatient. Then, after fifteen minutes of sitting on his ass looking at the jugs on Page 3, the driver gets up, goes over and does the roller thing around to *AS SEIRBHIS* and drives off.

The cunt. The fucking prick.
Throw bag at passing bus.
Be DEAD late for work.

 

[P. Littbarski]

I love their slogan

Dublin Bus - Changing with the City

it should, of course, be

Dublin Bus - Fucking with the City

and another thing I NEVER understood...this defies all know logic.

WHY DO WE HAVE 24 HOUR BUS LANES WHEN WE DON'T HAVE A 24 HOUR BUS SERVICE...

 

[rothko]

Originally posted by Dan


Motorbikes or mopeds are the shit for getting around.

they is.
but i got fucking soaked on my motorbike this morning

soaked

 

[spiritualtramp]

more bus stories.......
there was a creation "rave-disco" on in donabate one saturday night about a year and a half ago.
myself and my friends decided to get the last bus out to donabate (33b , now extinct) from eden quay.
lots of people had the same idea and the driver (30-ish ,ratty face ,nasty tash) was not very impressed with the shower of hippies/crusties/ravers clutching bags of cans boarding his bus.
so the fucker started overcharging people -being one of the first people on the bus I had paid 1.45 for the journey , others had been charged 3.50!

the driver was getting quite pissed off at the smoking and drinking being done on the bus (not by me , I am a model passenger) so as the journey progressed he kept making announcements , warning us to stop "or there will be trouble".
this continued for half an hour until he actually stopped the bus and called the police.
the police boarded the bus , confiscated a few cans off folk and told the driver to continue the journey.
when we finally reached donabate I had a bit of a go at the driver for overcharging people (I may of raised my voice a bit) and he told me to "never get on a bus" ever again.how on earth did he think this banning could be enforced????

 

[herv]

its like getting barred from the rds or something.

silly silly man.

 

[Keeror]

Originally posted by P. Littbarski
WHY DO WE HAVE 24 HOUR BUS LANES WHEN WE DON'T HAVE A 24 HOUR BUS SERVICE...

Most of them aren't 24 hour.
But most drivers regard them as 24 hour because the signs stating the hours of operation have text too small to read from a moving car.

The bicycle is the most energy efficient mode of transport known to man.
I wish those Chinese style ponchos were more readily available.

 

[Dan]

Originally posted by Keeror


The bicycle is the most energy efficient mode of transport known to man.

Except for that gyroscopic yokey on South Park.

 

[Wayne]

I work in Sandyford Industrial Estate one of the worst places on earth. I have to get 2 buses home to Crumlin every day . The bus comes into the estate and does a circle of it. When the traffic gets clogged up in the evenings the bus can take an hour to do this circle of the estate ( a five min walk). So you are just left standing waiting on. You can't walk to a bus stop out side the esate as any bus you get has to go into it anyways.
My journey home can take from as little as an hour on a good day to just over 3 hours on a bad day.
The worst part is I have seen loads of buses who on their way in to the estate, just turn around and go back out because they couldnt be bothered going into it. And with the Luas construction going on in there recently , things have only got worse.

 

[Keeror]

Originally posted by Wayne
I work in Sandyford Industrial Estate one of the worst places on earth. I have to get 2 buses home to Crumlin every day.

Have you thought of moving house?