Best Bus Story Ever (2 Viewers)

[clonan attack]

maybe someone can tell me if i have a case for slander cos as i was getting on the bus last week the busman didnt give me my 10cent change cos he was busy radioing in the fact "some fella just puked all over the upstairs salon"
i let it go cos i thought ah he's just takin care of business, so i was reading over my due essay on the bus up to it tallaght when it got to my stop.
as i got iff the bus he shouted at me to come back, i came back and he has the gall to say "next time you fuckin clean up after yourself"
i say "sorry"
he says "you puked all over the back of the bus upstairs"
i say "no i sat downstairs im just goin to college to hand in this project, i only got on at Firhouse(as a full downstairs looks at me like im scum of the earth)
he just says "oh, the bloke was wearin a black hat"
i say "im wearing a blue hat"
he says "oh" and pulls off leaving me embarrassed, pissed off and still to this day with the feeling i was majorly taken advantage of that morning(who pukes at 10am?)
i know what i should do but is it worthwhile? ive also been kicked in the stomach by a bouncer the day before i left to live in Helsinki for 6months so its getting to the stage where i feel like im just TAKING abuse way too much.
is murder really NOT an option?

 

[Arthur Peanut]

maybe someone can tell me if i have a case for slander cos as i was getting on the bus last week the busman didnt give me my 10cent change cos he was busy radioing in the fact "some fella just puked all over the upstairs salon"
i let it go cos i thought ah he's just takin care of business, so i was reading over my due essay on the bus up to it tallaght when it got to my stop.
as i got iff the bus he shouted at me to come back, i came back and he has the gall to say "next time you fuckin clean up after yourself"
i say "sorry"
he says "you puked all over the back of the bus upstairs"
i say "no i sat downstairs im just goin to college to hand in this project, i only got on at Firhouse(as a full downstairs looks at me like im scum of the earth)
he just says "oh, the bloke was wearin a black hat"
i say "im wearing a blue hat"


he says "oh" and pulls off leaving me embarrassed, pissed off and still to this day with the feeling i was majorly taken advantage of that morning(who pukes at 10am?)
i know what i should do but is it worthwhile? ive also been kicked in the stomach by a bouncer the day before i left to live in Helsinki for 6months so its getting to the stage where i feel like im just TAKING abuse way too much.
is murder really NOT an option?

You had a good case until you posted it here. Once you write about something like this in public before you go to court you risk the chance of prejudicing the case and thats not good. But did you hear about the guy who sued mcdonalds cos one of their micromanagers wrongly accused him of breaking the windows when he was drunk? he got €21,000

 

[Denver Max]

more sound bus driver news......

19a this morning......young-lad-with-glasses bus driver had a box of snack breakfast bars next to the change yolk for passengers to eat!!!

 

[avernus]

I got a 746 to the Airport today, in preference to the meandering 16A which was also at the stop - guy said to me "why de hell you not get de otha bloo bus?" deadly serious. angry. In response I, of course, took out a revolver and emptied his head all over the cabin in my imagination.

I got called a dickhead and rep docked from me for this. also received a pm saying:

"I got a 746 to the Airport today..."

Hi-larious.

I find your humour to be naff, creepy and more than a little embarrassing.

how odd.

 

[thickaspigshit]

Make like a fence


...and get over it

 

[avernus]

Make like a fence


...and get over it

hehe yeah, some people take offense to strange things is all.

 

[Cormcolash]

I got called a dickhead and rep docked from me for this. also received a pm saying:




how odd.

Well, I think I gave you rep for it because it brought True Lies to mind, so it all evens out in the end.

 

[avernus]

Well, I think I gave you rep for it because it brought True Lies to mind, so it all evens out in the end.

hehehe well, arnie is the key to your heart.

and mine for that matter.

 

[the departed]

one time we were in a taxi headin into a gig in town, when this other taxi-van drove up along side us..to our surprise, our driver became quite erratic & began f'n and blinding(my auntie uses that phrase) at the driver..
it turns out it was his arch-nemesis taxi man!! so anyway we thought this was hilarious & we were giggling away until we reached the motorway heading up to coolock.the two of the feckers floored it & sped fast&furious style(xibit would be proud) up the road in a freakin drag race thing. our giggles soon turned to the shits as it seriously felt like it was the end...it was mad!never been so fast in a land-vehicle & our gear & amps & stuff was flying about in the back.
so after this stupendously horrifying chase they eventually ended up bumper to back making hand gestures & cursing out the window at each other.
our driver was all ..."ye beedin mad yoke!ya fecker!ya feckin bo**ix!ya feckin fecker!!im gona report ya!!"
followed by...

"AND IVE GOT U.2 IN THE BACK YA FECKER!!!!!
then when the lights went green the guy in front drove ahead & SLAMMED on the breaks nearly killing us.
the fact that we didnt die made it all the more funny.

and one time a had a lerprechaun for a bus driver coming back from a debs..
"deeedleedeedooo.dont be feckin aboot on me buss ya hear!??deedleeedelleedooodoodeldellee."
he was sitting on phonebooks and his gear stick&pedals were extra long:O
.|..|

 

[Zeelander]

If you are at all fancy or good, you might already know this story...

The story features two gentlemen, D and B. D was fond of drinking a Yop after a night out, but never NEVER on the Nightlink, because drinking a Yop drunkenly on a bus will only cause a MESS. B said one night "Well, I don't believe you that it can be as messy as you maintain, so I'm going to try to drink a Yop on the Nightlink MYSELF." It wasn't long before B concluded that D was correct and it was a TRICKY business alright. Perplexed, the two started thinking of a feasible way of drinking a Yop on a bus. Perhaps if one PIERCED the lid with a single hole and held the Yop up and squirted it into one's mouth? Yes, yes, this seemed quite like a GOOD IDEA. B had a safety pin handy so gave the idea a try. However, he pierced the lid of the Yop which had already had it's seal broken and proceeded to tilt his head back and 'squirt' the entire contents of a large Yop on his SILLY DRUNKEN FACE.

 

[pete]

had another one of those wonderful hey-I'm-driving-the-bus-but-don't-know-the-route drivers this evening. On a fucking EXPRESS bus. He just drove past the turn off into the estates that about 66% of the passengers on the bus live in.

Naturally, I was freaking out at the prospect of the unexpected 15 minute walk home, and let him know how appreciative of this extra exercise I was. Nothing. I got a completely blank look.

So i step off the bus and, still fuming, turned around and said "So that's it? are you not even going to apologise?"... and a woman turns around to me and says:

"Ah sure I don't think he knew....."


OF COURSE HE DIDN'T FUCKING KNOW YOU EMPTY HEAD - DID YOU THINK HE DID IT FOR FUN? TO SEE IF ANYONE WOULD NOTICE???

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but there are 3 things a bus driver needs to be able to do in order to do his job:

1. Drive a bus
2. KNOW THE FUCKING ROUTE
3. Be able to work the ticket machine

Rocket science it ain't.

IS THAT ASKING TOO FUCKING MUCH?

Yes, it is, apparently.


ahhhhh that's better.

 

[Goodbye]

Bring back conductors

 

[thickaspigshit]

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but there are 3 things a bus driver needs to be able to do in order to do his job:

1. Drive a bus
2. KNOW THE FUCKING ROUTE
3. Be able to work the ticket machine

and

4. Be as miserable and antagonistic as inhumanly possible

 

[Shine]

Faaaaaoooold de buggy!

Excuse me people - just a little rant...

I went out to Tempelogue this morning to go to the cheeverstown pool. What a mission! I guess because i didn't really know where it was /what bus to get, and because i'm such a city-centre dweller these days i'm out of the habit of getting busses - i need to toughen up a bit! Here's the story anyway... post-fathing about and trying to find out where i was supposed to go, i wait at the 1st 65B stop on eden quay - but the bus doesn't see me and speeds on by! Wait another 25mins, get on with the buggy and boy and spend 30 mins on bus. The boy and another his age are in side-by-side buggies and gabbling away at each other!

Then there's great splashy splashy fun stuff at the pool.

Boy falls asleep post-swim and snack. I cross back over the road and wait for the 65 back... no show. 20 mins later i decide to walk towards Tempelogue to up my bus-catching chances. 10 mins later 65B comes along at next stop anyway. Then comes the dreaded....

"Faaoooold de buggy!"

Now I should have been prepared for that but i'm afraid i reacted very badly! He was just asleep (that precious nap!) and I really didn't want to wake him OR spend Another 30 mins waiting for a bus...

I'm seeing the low floor and going "What - why?.." and not really hearing what he was saying. I pop my head around the corner onto the bus and see the same lady and baby there as shared a bus out with me... well - neither i nor she could see reason why i couldn't fit in beside her again but Noooo - "I don't care - Ye can't get on unless ye Faaaoooold de buggy..." , pointing at his little sign - the pedantic fuckwit... So - to my eternal shame - instead of coping like the tough little urchin i should be - i get off and start unloading and stuffing and packing and asking for help with holding and carrying and throwing too much money into the machine with someone else having to hand me the ticket and there's stuff falling and the baby waking in some polish lady's arms and i'm bleary and teary and i get onto the bus and tell him:

"Sometimes you just have to know when not to be an asshole"

!

To which he starts raging at my back as i go sink into a seat and hold and rock the little fella who is quietly awake but knowing when he needs to just let himself be held. And tears are silently slipping down my face as the lump rises and falls away in my throat. And i'm torn between upset, anger and absolute mortification.

I am that crazy lady on the bus.

And it gets worse.

Just as I'm almost together, there's a movement in the corner of my eye. And a kindly little old lady sidles up to me and starts asking "Are you ok?" "What's happened" "Is there anything I can do for you?" And she's a fecking NUN and Jesus is trying to save me. And... right... I don't know if you have this... but I've always had this thing where when I'm on the edge of upset and someone is nice to me I bleedin' Break Down in Floods of Tears! My conscious self can see all this happening and is screaming "COOOOPPPP OOON!!! For Christ's sake cop the feck on. Stopit!!! Don't cry! Get rid of her!!!"

And i can feel the heads of the whole bus edged towards us...

*Sniff* "I'm grand... the diver *blub* just upset me... i'm just... honestly... nothing... really.. *glurble* ... I'm Just Tired"

I manage to get those last three words out effectively enough that i'm able to get my face away from her sweet little hairy concerned one, and turn it back out the window and wipe away more morification drops and take a few deeps breaths and feel her edge back dissappointedly into her seat...

The boy started to come-to then and i was able to direct my attention on him for the rest of the way. Mortififeckingcation.
She patted my arm on the way out.

I didn't recover fully until i got a take-away Panem hot chocolate into me (the very best).

Sorry for the long rant.

Faooold de buggy... I know thems the rules but - Bastard pedants.

Resolution: Must be more tough!

 

[pete]

Re: Faaaaaoooold de buggy!

Excuse me people - just a little rant...

I went out to Tempelogue this morning to go to the cheeverstown pool. What a mission! I guess because i didn't really know where it was /what bus to get, and because i'm such a city-centre dweller these days i'm out of the habit of getting busses - i need to toughen up a bit! Here's the story anyway... post-fathing about and trying to find out where i was supposed to go, i wait at the 1st 65B stop on eden quay - but the bus doesn't see me and speeds on by! Wait another 25mins, get on with the buggy and boy and spend 30 mins on bus. The boy and another his age are in side-by-side buggies and gabbling away at each other!

Then there's great splashy splashy fun stuff at the pool.

Boy falls asleep post-swim and snack. I cross back over the road and wait for the 65 back... no show. 20 mins later i decide to walk towards Tempelogue to up my bus-catching chances. 10 mins later 65B comes along at next stop anyway. Then comes the dreaded....

"Faaoooold de buggy!"

Now I should have been prepared for that but i'm afraid i reacted very badly! He was just asleep (that precious nap!) and I really didn't want to wake him OR spend Another 30 mins waiting for a bus...

I'm seeing the low floor and going "What - why?.." and not really hearing what he was saying. I pop my head around the corner onto the bus and see the same lady and baby there as shared a bus out with me... well - neither i nor she could see reason why i couldn't fit in beside her again but Noooo - "I don't care - Ye can't get on unless ye Faaaoooold de buggy..." , pointing at his little sign - the pedantic fuckwit... So - to my eternal shame - instead of coping like the tough little urchin i should be - i get off and start unloading and stuffing and packing and asking for help with holding and carrying and throwing too much money into the machine with someone else having to hand me the ticket and there's stuff falling and the baby waking in some polish lady's arms and i'm bleary and teary and i get onto the bus and tell him:

"Sometimes you just have to know when not to be an asshole"

!

To which he starts raging at my back as i go sink into a seat and hold and rock the little fella who is quietly awake but knowing when he needs to just let himself be held. And tears are silently slipping down my face as the lump rises and falls away in my throat. And i'm torn between upset, anger and absolute mortification.

I am that crazy lady on the bus.

And it gets worse.

Just as I'm almost together, there's a movement in the corner of my eye. And a kindly little old lady sidles up to me and starts asking "Are you ok?" "What's happened" "Is there anything I can do for you?" And she's a fecking NUN and Jesus is trying to save me. And... right... I don't know if you have this... but I've always had this thing where when I'm on the edge of upset and someone is nice to me I bleedin' Break Down in Floods of Tears! My conscious self can see all this happening and is screaming "COOOOPPPP OOON!!! For Christ's sake cop the feck on. Stopit!!! Don't cry! Get rid of her!!!"

And i can feel the heads of the whole bus edged towards us...

*Sniff* "I'm grand... the diver *blub* just upset me... i'm just... honestly... nothing... really.. *glurble* ... I'm Just Tired"

I manage to get those last three words out effectively enough that i'm able to get my face away from her sweet little hairy concerned one, and turn it back out the window and wipe away more morification drops and take a few deeps breaths and feel her edge back dissappointedly into her seat...

The boy started to come-to then and i was able to direct my attention on him for the rest of the way. Mortififeckingcation.
She patted my arm on the way out.

I didn't recover fully until i got a take-away Panem hot chocolate into me (the very best).

Sorry for the long rant.

Faooold de buggy... I know thems the rules but - Bastard pedants.

Resolution: Must be more tough!

That sucks. thing is, if there was an accident and if something happened with yer un-folded buggy he'd be fucked for not following the regulations cos dublin bus could be sued sued sued. sad, but that's the way people have to think these days.

Me brother in law is a bus driver, so because of some of the stories he tells i've a bit more sympathy than i used to for those guys. Then again he's on the ghetto bus quite a lot (the 39 - the longest route in the world), so....

 

[Rogue]

Re: Faaaaaoooold de buggy!

That all sucks ferociously, some days all you can do is soldier on till you're back on home ground, hopefully those days aren't everyday
. Hope it was a good swim at least.

 

[Shine]

Re: Faaaaaoooold de buggy!

Yeah - i get that it's the rules - and that they need to not have loads of buggies piling in on top of each other or blocking the passage and blah blah -
But i'm a little bit anti-rule and pro- common sense...

The baby was asleep. And there's no reason why two compact buggies side by side in the little space (which i appreciate was designed for wheelchairs) is any more dangerous than one... My folded buggy sitting unsecured on the luggage thingy would probably be more of a hazard than it in case of an accident... as would the unsecured child on my knee.

It's just a job thing. Your day is made more simple if you follow all the rules than if you have to try and think and use judgement i suppose. I didn't quite call him an asshole, but he came across as an asshole. But sher he might be sound in the real world *ahem*

Although. If you were to look at it another way... if the "sound" driver who let the two buggies ride on the way out hadn't built up my expectations about two-buggy riding, then i certainly would have been prepared for and not upset by the sleep disturbance FDBing on the way back in...
hmmm...
So the moral of the story is:
Them drivers should all get together and decide whether they're going to be sound or not sound.

?

 

[pete]

Re: Faaaaaoooold de buggy!

Yeah - i get that it's the rules - and that they need to not have loads of buggies piling in on top of each other or blocking the passage and blah blah -
But i'm a little bit anti-rule and pro- common sense...

The baby was asleep. And there's no reason why two compact buggies side by side in the little space (which i appreciate was designed for wheelchairs) is any more dangerous than one... My folded buggy sitting unsecured on the luggage thingy would probably be more of a hazard than it in case of an accident... as would the unsecured child on my knee.

It's just a job thing. Your day is made more simple if you follow all the rules than if you have to try and think and use judgement i suppose. I didn't quite call him an asshole, but he came across as an asshole. But sher he might be sound in the real world *ahem*

Although. If you were to look at it another way... if the "sound" driver who let the two buggies ride on the way out hadn't built up my expectations about two-buggy riding, then i certainly would have been prepared for and not upset by the sleep disturbance FDBing on the way back in...
hmmm...
So the moral of the story is:
Them drivers should all get together and decide whether they're going to be sound or not sound.

?

i'll tell steve so

 

[Anthony]

Re: Faaaaaoooold de buggy!

get a car.

 

[krystal]

Re: Faaaaaoooold de buggy!

Poor you shine. That's shit.

oh and anthony - deeply unhelpful