Sinead O'Connor..take a fucking bow. (2 Viewers)

[therealjohnny]

Man mourning Sinead O'Connor in way that reflects well on him

A MAN is mourning the late Sinead O’Connor by remembering all the times he agreed with her and was proven right over the years.

www.thedailymash.co.uk

 

[Scientician 0.8]

I can't even think about listening to her music. It's too sad. I didn't know her but her breadth and depth as an artist was astounding and her willingness to put her head above the parapet for the powerless and downtrodden was admirable and a bit shaming of many of the rest of us.

 

[Unicron]

As much of a cesspit that twitter now is, or has always been, but the post takeover version is bad, last night demonstrated some of the good of it.

 

[magicbastarder]

i watched that video last night of her performing at the dylan anniversary concert. christ, that was tough.

 

[Denny Oubidoux]

I'd forgotten this, she manages to make it listenable

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[Deadmanposting]

I think it’s cool that we as mostly men with good mental health on the internet can judge a woman whose family is affected by intergenerational trauma and serious psychiatric problems for her failings as a parent.

We all have good mental health?
None of us have struggled or dealt with any of the issues of intergenerational trauma and serious psychiatric problems?
And we have zero understanding of them. Just out here throwing stones for kicks?
Chuffed to hear that for all of us. Lucky bunch.

The woman was many things - and there's no shortage of people saying wonderful things about her - but among the things she was, was a narcissist.
And the people that needed her most paid for that narcissism dearly.
Kids need stability as an absolute baseline in their lives, her kids got the extreme opposite of that. I've seen it more times than I'd liked to have. And it never leaves the people it affects.
Sure, great records too. And she was a rebel and so on. Super for her.

Same with Christy. Some good songs. Put loads of people through decades of shit with his addiction. But you get heavy pushback if you say anything. We say he "Struggled with addiction" so we can pretend we talked about it. But we don't really.

Go back and listen to that interview Sinead did with Brendan O'Connor in the past year or so. And she's all over the shop. Retiring, unretiring, rambling, this and that. Always about her though.
If a friend talked to you like that, you'd try and get them help. Or avoid them next time.
But BOC treats her with the kid gloves of a living legend. All a big laugh. Sinead being Sinead. Same thing everyone wants to do now. Just print the legend. Ignore the reality of her life.

Everyone wants to say "She suffered with her mental health" and acknowledge it like a box that's ticked. So it feels like it's been discussed. It's a conversational sleight of hand.
No one actually wants to talk about it fully.
Or what it was like to have to live with someone like that in their most important, formative years.
It's just a verbal nod, signifying basically nothing.

Gwan Sinead ya legend is about the unrealest thing you can say about the woman. It ignores her truth.
She suffered, God help her, and also spread suffering her whole adult life. That's the nature of her condition. That's reality.

 

[Deadmanposting]

Man mourning Sinead O'Connor in way that reflects well on him

A MAN is mourning the late Sinead O’Connor by remembering all the times he agreed with her and was proven right over the years.

www.thedailymash.co.uk

I think I might be doing this wrong

Heh

 

[rettucs]

how does one spread their suffering?

genuine question, so I can make sure I don't spread any of mine

 

[ernesto]

how does one spread their suffering?

genuine question, so I can make sure I don't spread any of mine

TOO LATE.

 

[Cornu Ammonis]

We all have good mental health?
None of us have struggled or dealt with any of the issues of intergenerational trauma and serious psychiatric problems?
And we have zero understanding of them. Just out here throwing stones for kicks?
Chuffed to hear that for all of us. Lucky bunch.

The fact that you, me, and everyone else who posts here regularly can do so with any noticeable change in their personality, while mostly holding down jobs, and have had mental health issues that probably respond to treatment puts us far, far ahead of what she was going through. It’s not that none of us suffer and she’s special but that she was dealt a spectacularly bad hand in life. So were her kids, and so was her mother. She may have had money and songs, but she also had something that no amount of money or privilege can protect you from.

The woman was many things - and there's no shortage of people saying wonderful things about her - but among the things she was, was a narcissist.
And the people that needed her most paid for that narcissism dearly.
Kids need stability as an absolute baseline in their lives, her kids got the extreme opposite of that. I've seen it more times than I'd liked to have. And it never leaves the people it affects.
Sure, great records too. And she was a rebel and so on. Super for her.

It’s possible to feel sorry for the kids and her at the same time though, to somehow lay it all at her feet just seems spiteful. I don’t even like her music and I can feel sorry for her, I can feel sorry for her kids, and I can even feel sorry for her abusive mother. This is the horror of psychiatric illness. And it’s not even the worst example I’ve heard this month.

Same with Christy. Some good songs. Put loads of people through decades of shit with his addiction. But you get heavy pushback if you say anything. We say he "Struggled with addiction" so we can pretend we talked about it. But we don't really.

Ok.

Gwan Sinead ya legend is about the unrealest thing you can say about the woman. It ignores her truth.
She suffered, God help her, and also spread suffering her whole adult life. That's the nature of her condition. That's reality.

That’s what I think too but I don’t know what’s to be gained by crucifying her for something she couldn’t change or control. Billions are spent every year on trying to treat these kinds of illnesses and have gotten nowhere, what makes you think one women with a fraction of that money could solve it to satisfy your parenting standards?

 

[ann post]

*posts Conor McGregor walk in Sinead video to Stoke the fire*

 

[Space]

I'm not sure how pointing out someone's apparent failings in life helps anyone when that person has died but it does seem really shitty and heartless to repeat them over and again within hours of their death.

 

[Deadmanposting]

how does one spread their suffering?

genuine question, so I can make sure I don't spread any of mine

You've never dealt with a toxic person in your whole life?
Or understand how intergenerational trauma is transmitted? Come on, man.
Second half of that doesn't seem all that genuine tbh

Suicidal narcissists that have been diagnosed as bipolar, wreak absolute havoc in the lives of others. But in none moreso than children, cos children can't escape, and children think they can make the parent love them. All kids can do is beg them to stop, and then go on Facebook and ask their famous Ma to please stop.
Sinead was an adult with privilege and access to the best care in the world and she refused it.

Spreading suffering is a little like Sinead sang about her own Ma.

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When we refuse to own our shit and deal with our problems, we spread suffering to the ones that love us.
That goes for Christy Dignam, Big Crosby, Joan Crawford, Whitney Houston, David Hasselhoff as much as it does for Sinead.



I get it that you all love her and think she's great.
I just see things differently cos of what the kids went through. I have bags of empathy, it's just most of it is with those kids that never got a proper shot.
I only know what I know, same as y'all.

 

[rettucs]

Suicidal narcissists that have been diagnosed as bipolar, wreak absolute havoc in the lives of others

Its comes across like you're suggesting she intentionally did this, as if out of spite.

Some people have shitty parents. Some people have parents who are sick. Being sick might prevent you from being the perfect parent, but I don't think it makes you a shitty one either.

Shitty parents, to me, are those who choose to be shit to their kids. I don't think she chose to be shit to her kids.

 

[Deadmanposting]

The fact that you, me, and everyone else who posts here regularly can do so with any noticeable change in their personality, while mostly holding down jobs, and have had mental health issues that probably respond to treatment puts us far, far ahead of what she was going through.

I'm not gonna speak for anyone here or compare them to what anyone else has gone through. The fact that people can post on a message board regularly speaks to almost nothing about their mental health history or their suitability for treatment. I only know what y'all tell me.

I don’t know what’s to be gained by crucifying her for something she couldn’t change or control.

I am not crucifying anyone. Just speaking to the truth of what the scope of what her illness meant for others.
What she had wasn't some mystery to medical science. She was diagnosed with bipolar and she was an obvious narcissist. Those things are resistant to treatment, but they are very very far from helpless causes. A combination of (a combination of) meds and psychotherapy can give people a life worth living.
The majority of people in therapy are dealing with shit from their upbringing. She wasn't special in that regard. She was just unusual in that she always had money and could tell doctors to fuck off if she liked. It's easier to say you're a muslim now than actually do the work.

 

[ann post]

It's a confusing legacy and at some point the negative has to be taken with the positive.

I'm back thinking about that quote about Steve Cooney carrying the burden of talent well.

If you can open your mouth and sing and pretty much paralise everyone with the sheer beauty of what you can do, do you ever get to live on earth kinda stuff.

 

[Deadmanposting]

Its comes across like you're suggesting she intentionally did this, as if out of spite.

Some people have shitty parents. Some people have parents who are sick. Being sick might prevent you from being the perfect parent, but I don't think it makes you a shitty one either.

Shitty parents, to me, are those who choose to be shit to their kids. I don't think she chose to be shit to her kids.

Almost every abusive parent or partner promises not to do it again. They swear up and down. Next time will be different. Til it's not. It's not spite that makes people abusive, it's their condition or their management (or lack thereof) of same.
The husband who punches walls and kicks TVs or the wife that threatens to jump out a 5th floor window aren't really doing so out of spite. They have unaddressed behavioural problems.
They are fucking nicest people in the world an hour later, crying for forgiveness.
No one would use 'spite' to describe their behaviour. Spite is cold.

 

[rettucs]

Almost every abusive parent or partner promises not to do it again. They swear up and down. Next time will be different. Til it's not. It's not spite that makes people abusive, it's their condition or their management (or lack thereof) of same.
The husband who punches walls and kicks TVs or the wife that threatens to jump out a 5th floor window aren't really doing so out of spite. They have unaddressed behavioural problems.
They are fucking nicest people in the world an hour later, crying for forgiveness.
No one would use 'spite' to describe their behaviour. Spite is cold.

ok, so there's no difference from an abusive parent/partner or a husband who punches walls or kicks TV, from someone who is bipolar in terms of their shittiness?

 

[Deadmanposting]

I'm not sure how pointing out someone's apparent failings in life helps anyone when that person has died but it does seem really shitty and heartless to repeat them over and again within hours of their death.

It can maybe help someone that has been through it.
Maybe not here, but people that are stage angels and house devils probably don't deserve universal adulation and zero criticism.


If people stop responding and subtweeting (subposting?) me, I promise to stop crucifying Sinead.


I'd like to think I've made my point. But no one can really even seem to see what I'm talking aboutr.

 

[Deadmanposting]

ok, so there's no difference from an abusive parent/partner or a husband who punches walls or kicks TV, from someone who is bipolar in terms of their shittiness?

Emotional abuse is emotional abuse

A mother threatening/attempting suicide in front of you is far far scarier than watching a TV getting broken by your Dad. They're both horrible, but one is existentially horrific.

I will try and Tl;dr because I'm sick of typing and you're all sick of reading my cruel shit.


When you hear someone say on TV or radio in the next few day that Sinead "suffered with her mental illness" or "battled" it.
Just stop for a second and think of a child being told by their distraught Ma that she wants to kill herself.
And then imagine that happening all the time to that kid.
So often that it's not even unusual, but the kid still thinks if they love the Ma hard enough and behave better that they can stop it.
And ask yourself who struggled and who battled really?


ETA
If you've lived in Ireland you've gone to a roaring alcoholic's funeral, and their kids have to sit there and have a shower of fuckers that only know one side of the person walk by shake their hand and tell them what a wonderful person they were.
There's always more to it.