Things your parents told you as a kid (4 Viewers)

[oh shit]

One time I was giving out about my teeth hurting because of braces being tightened and my mother turns around to me and says

"when I was your age I had to cycle to town to go to the dentist then put up with the pain of dentists back then , then go and get the weeks shopping for the whole family and then cycle back home with a swollen face and all the shopping on the bike"

I didnt complain for the rest of the evening if I remember correctly.

why not? i never bought that relativism crap. you can be sure that if your ma did even half of that stuff she gave out about it too.
it's like saying "ah what are those palestinians complaining about, sure didn't the germans kill 20 million russians and 6 million jews"

try answering "now's your chance to be a better mother than gran"
see what happens

 

[avernus]

Reminds me of...

Michael Palin: You were lucky. We lived for three months in a brown paper bag in a septic tank. We used to have to get up at six o'clock in the morning, clean the bag, eat a crust of stale bread, go to work down the mill for fourteen hours a day week in-week out. When we got home, our Dad would thrash us to sleep with his belt!
Graham Chapman: Luxury! We used to have to get out of the lake at three o'clock in the morning, clean the lake, eat a handful of hot gravel, go to work at the mill every day for tuppence a month, come home, and Dad would beat us around the head and neck with a broken bottle, if we were LUCKY!
Terry Gilliam: Well, we had it tough. We used to have to get up out of the shoebox at twelve o'clock at night, and LICK the road clean with our tongues. We had half a handful of freezing cold gravel, worked twenty-four hours a day at the mill for fourpence every six years, and when we got home, our Dad would slice us in two with a bread knife.
Eric Idle: Right. steels himself I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night, half an hour before I went to bed, eat a lump of cold poison, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad would kill us, and dance about on our graves singing "Hallelujah."
Michael Palin: But you try and tell the young people today that... and they won't believe ya'.
All: Nope, nope...

 

[Buzzo]

parents are fuckin weird man. Whenever our auld fella was putting on his coat and we'd ask him where he was going, he'd say 'Ballymagash going backwards'. I don't know.

once, before we had dogs, he used the phrase 'I'm going to see a man about a dog'. After the initial elation and subsequent distraught wailing from my bro and I, he never used that phrase lightly again I tell ya.

 

[stephenoblunt]

My Mother used to say "I'm going to do the messages" which meant get the shopping. What?! Messages is shopping?? When did that link appear?

Also when I chewed my cheek she used to say I'd look like the lady up the road who chewed her cheek, but her face resembled a trout. I fucking believed her too!! God, that's mad...

 

[avernus]

Also when I chewed my cheek she used to say I'd look like the lady up the road who chewed her cheek, but her face resembled a trout. I fucking believed her too!! God, that's mad...

good thing you took her advice, I didnt take my mother's and now look at me!!

 

[mackle]

My Mother used to say "I'm going to do the messages" which meant get the shopping. What?! Messages is shopping?? When did that link appear?

Haha, My Mum says that as well.

 

[It Will Never Last]

good thing you took her advice, I didnt take my mother's and now look at me!!

Man, thats so page 2...

http://www.thumped.com/bbs/showpost.php?p=316303&postcount=19

And to think I just repped you for the Python...pfft!

 

[avernus]

Man, thats so page 2...

http://www.thumped.com/bbs/showpost.php?p=316303&postcount=19

And to think I just repped you for the Python...pfft!

yeah but your picture was obviously a fake! faker!

 

[It Will Never Last]

That's crazy talk. You're crazy, avernus. Get off the road!

 

[spiritualtramp]

Haha, My Mum says that as well.

My ma says "I'm going to the store" like she is a yank.

 

[Rachel666]

my mum, fed up with me spending ages in the bathroom, told me that if you sit on the toilet too long all your organs will slip out. on some weird mental level I still believe it...

 

[Cormcolash]

my mum, fed up with me spending ages in the bathroom, told me that if you sit on the toilet too long all your organs will slip out. on some weird mental level I still believe it...

Well apparently it is possible to get an embylism from pushing too hard.

 

[cpr]

That my mams brains could be seen on the walls of the school she sent too cos she left them behind. And me like a big gobshite looking out the window everytime we went past.....FUCK SAKE! no wonder I grew up depraved.

 

[pete]

Well apparently it is possible to get an embylism from pushing too hard.

aneurysm?

 

[Lord Damian]

Me: "where did Mom go?"

Dad: "she went to shit and the crows got her."

cue fear of birds until about grade 3...

 

[george mcfly]

my Da told me David Bowie was Flash Gordon (as in Sam Jones)
becuase obviously i thought Flash Gordon was real.. my Da told me that after he saved the Earth he became a singer
i think it was because there was this chipper we used to go to that had a jukebox and all i wanted to do was listen to Queen
oh yeah, obviously i thought Freddy was Timothy Dalton's character from Flash

 

[snakybus]

My dad was a professor and the least streetwise person you could ever meet (not like his son, who oozes street cred), and also liked to be everyone's buddy. One time I was with him in the staff room at UCG, a fairly stiff-collared place, and the professor of Microbiology, Jim Houghton, an English man, was coming in. My dad shouts: "Looking saucy, Jim!" Professor Houghton looked at him in total confusion.

Afterwards I asked him what he meant and he said "Oh you know, chipper, in good form", not knowing of course that saucy in England kind of means sexy.

 

[cozy]

i've nothing to say, but the view counter was at 666 so i pretty much saved you all from an eternity in hell. You all owe me big time

 

[Deleted member 3435]

i've nothing to say, but the view counter was at 666 so i pretty much saved you all from an eternity in hell. You all owe me big time

thanks for that.

some funny stories.
egg, you sound like you had a great childhood full of stolen willies and walking backwards competitions. hillarious!!

"carrots are good for your eyes-i bet you never saw a rabbit with glasses"
me da (1960 to present)

"if you fuckn' cry then i'll give you something to cry about" me da (1981 - 1993 approx)

"fucking niggers should all be hung, them is the ones that's doing all the crime in their own countries, send them fucking home" me da (1997-present approx)

"that'll be a grand fire when it starts-isn't that what the fox said when he pissed on the rock?" me da (4eva)

"ireland were fucking robbed. all them other songs are shit. it's them eastern block countries, we'll never get it back now anyway. it's wrong. it shouldn't happen...etc" me da (last night)

"sin a bfhuil a cairde gael as ger ryan says" me ma (all the time)

i was telling her the other day that i'm gonna have to say
sin a bfhuil a cairde gael as ger ryan says as my mother says.

 

[beergoth]

My mum used to tell me that if i swallowed my chewinggum I would get mice in my stomach..

I never did though..