Things your parents told you as a kid (2 Viewers)

[Corey]

Up until about the age of 16 i honestly thought that the Esb plant on the bay (two chimneys) was a tayto factory. My mam said so. She denies it now; which means she must have genuinly believed it herself at some point.
The daft bint.

 

[spiritualtramp]

My grandad was in the RAF during world war 2. He had a bullet wound on his leg which he would show to my dad whilst boasting about his bravery. He said he had been shot fighting the germans in Berlin.

He had been shot in Berlin, but it was after the war ended. He was shot by one of his own colleagues during a drunken card game that turned nasty.

 

[cookiemonster]

Up until about the age of 16 i honestly thought that the Esb plant on the bay (two chimneys) was a tayto factory.

my dad told me it was where clouds were made.
i believed him for years. years!

 

[brianoak]

"theres a Helicopter Landing pad behind the gaelic pitch"4-6

"yeah of course there is a cellar in grannies you just need to figure out the secret code to get in,Il draw you a map where you can find some clues"6-10
kept me occupied for hours

"if you dont behave I will phone the devil on his red phone to take you away"4-10 never quite got over this one

 

[Zeelander]

My uncle told me he was Magnum P.I. He had the moustache to prove it so who was I to argue.

 

[moc]

"fuck out of the car NOW!!!"

Thats what my mother said to me this morning after I asked her why she was related to all the retards in the village.

i get it... haha... retards.

 

[guy of the tiger]

haha! thats funny cause I have a friend who's dad told him the same thing about the tayto factory in coolock

my dad told me it was where clouds were made.
i believed him for years. years!

 

[guy of the tiger]

when asked why he had no hair my grandad used to tell me as a kid that one day he stuck his head in a bush and rustled it furiously and all his hair came out. Then he'd do the actions for me.

Im pretty sure he was telling the truth.

 

[broken arm]

my mother told me that "you don't get everyting you want in this life" when I would want a skateboard or something they couldn't get me. I still respect her for that.

and

When I was really young (13-15) and wanted to go to a disco, gig or something (and wasn't allowed) she used to tell me this story about how she wasn't able to go to a dinner dance when JFK was in ireland. Some soilder boy was to take her but my granny wouldn't allow her to go and she was terrible upset and all that. then I found out she used to sneak out of my grandparents house and go to parties on that back of motorbikes and shit. I respect her for that aswell.

 

[avernus]

when asked why he had no hair my grandad used to tell me as a kid that one day he stuck his head in a bush and rustled it furiously and all his hair came out.

old guys are always doing that. I dont care how old I get, Im never sticking my head in a bush. no sir.

I used to always think that when my mom said "we'll play it by ear" that she was saying "we'll play it by year". god I was so traumatised when I found out.

When I have children I think I'll quote lines from films a lot, that way when they watch those films they'll think I wrote them. And who would I be to argue with a child?

 

[egg_]

I used to always think that when my mom said "we'll play it by ear" that she was saying "we'll play it by year".

You know that the bit in mass where the priest says "lift up your hearts" and everyone says "we lift them up to the lord"? I used to think he was saying "lift up your arse" and I've a mental picture from childhood of everyone standing with their arses raised

When I was real little I used to like running round in the nip and my da used to say "hurry up and put on your underpants or you aunt Nuala will take your willy and put it in her handbag". It used to make my aunt Nuala right mad

 

[egg_]

Another time I was playing with my cousin Sue's jetball and it flew into the cowshed, and my aunt Sheila (her ma) said "did you lose Sue's ball?" and I said no and she said "you better not be lying or your tongue will go black" and I was terrified, didn't open my mouth until we went home again

 

[oh shit]

my mum had this running lie/story about superman and wonderwoman and liono (lord of the thundercats) and the time they all landed in the park centre (shopping centre off the falls); think she got more than she bargained for cos i kept asking for more details every day.

my mum still believes in faires tho, so i can't really count that as a lie type thing.

 

[avernus]

I can't imagine Liono having much in common with Superman and Wonderwoman - past being a hero, like.

 

[Zeelander]

Another time I was playing with my cousin Sue's jetball and it flew into the cowshed, and my aunt Sheila (her ma) said "did you lose Sue's ball?" and I said no and she said "you better not be lying or your tongue will go black" and I was terrified, didn't open my mouth until we went home again

Ah yeah my folks used to always use that "If you're lying your tongue will go black" line. I remember a really big dog came into our school one day and when I went home I said that a giraffe had been in the school. And my parents told me that they knew I was lying because my tongue was black. I couldn't see if it was black or not because it's too underneathy like, so I believed them. The irony of it all.

 

[RSJ]

"You can go see metallica next year" - my ma, 1991-1999 (then i lost interest).

That said, she did get my brother to take me to see The Tindersticks in a pub on a school night when i was 13, so fair fucks.

 

[oh shit]

I can't imagine Liono having much in common with Superman and Wonderwoman - past being a hero, like.

that's cos you watch too much tv

 

[Rachel666]

That if I ate to much suger worms would come out of my ears.

my dad told me that if i ate sugar from the bowl i'd get maggots in my arse.

when he was in hospital, he didn't shave, so he told me he was there because he was turning into a monkey. i managed to tell everyone he was a monkey. it just seemed so natural. like "why wasn't your da at the sports day" "oh he's turning into a monkey". eventually my ma told me it was depression... I told too many people to ever live it down

 

[avernus]

that's cos you watch too much tv

its true. although I currently watch zero tv. so no, its not true.

 

[wild_cat]

One time I was giving out about my teeth hurting because of braces being tightened and my mother turns around to me and says

"when I was your age I had to cycle to town to go to the dentist then put up with the pain of dentists back then , then go and get the weeks shopping for the whole family and then cycle back home with a swollen face and all the shopping on the bike"

I didnt complain for the rest of the evening if I remember correctly.