The if you were a serial killer thread (1 Viewer)

[whathappen?]

stole this from another forum but I thought it was fun


So , if you were,are or plan to becaome a serial killer answer me this.
1. Describe your victim profile
2. Describe your methods

target: people born on 4 May
method : males - seduce them and lure them down an alley . Bash them on the head with an iron bar , then scalpel the belly open .I would take the liver and feed it to a cat
females: meet her by "accident" bash her on the head (like the guys) I'd then dress her in a jumper saying Save The Cheerleader and leave her in an alley close to the male victim . I'd tie the cat who ate the liver to her too.Just to link her to the male.

I'do 2 males ,1 female. At that point I would inject myself into the investigation pretending to help them but of course I would be just goading them . I would be always one step ahead of them. I might then start stalking the lead detective , even start a sexual relationship with him , not sure yet.
If I could control myself I'd stop for a while to confuse them. Maybe do a random non 4th May one here and there. Then just when the detctive was about to have a breakdown from the guilt of not being able to stop the murders , and his marriage is falling apart .I'd show him this thread.

 

[therealjohnny]

stole this from another forum but I thought it was fun


So , if you were,are or plan to becaome a serial killer answer me this.
1. Describe your victim profile
2. Describe your methods

target: people born on 4 May

Is this a Star Wars thing?

 

[taubstumm]

wait a second! my birthday is the fourth of m... *thud*

 

[piratecore]

i would target private landlords, i would use a cheesegrater, start at the top and work my way down till there was nothing left.

 

[David Kronenbourg]

i'd kill anyone who looked at me funny

 

[nooleen]

i'd kill my family, then myself. ha ha.

 

[classic seanc]

People who piss on the street. I'd kill them and dress their corpses in chimp suits and hang them from meathooks in a fridge. In this way, I would show the world that I will treat like animals those who behave like animals.





What's this thread about?

 

[David Kronenbourg]

i'd kill my family, then myself. ha ha.

WHOOP!!

 

[Franco]

I'd nobble anyone who's ever gone to Dublin Zoo.

 

[David Kronenbourg]

I'd nobble anyone who's ever gone to Dublin Zoo.

kiddie murderers are the worst. for shame!

 

[nlgbbbblth]

killing yourself after a string of murders is a cop out.

 

[David Kronenbourg]

that's more the actions of a spree killer than a serial killer, innit?

 

[nooleen]

i would kill a series of myselves, then start a family.

 

[David Kronenbourg]

ah, i dunno if i'd actually kill anyone. i'd probably just maim a passing cyclist or something

 

[nlgbbbblth]

that's more the actions of a spree killer than a serial killer, innit?

yeah, usually those impulsive ones.

people would respect 'em more if they didn't blow their brains out after murdering a few classmates or whatever.

 

[piratecore]

if you were a serial rapist what would your m.o. be?

 

[Red_Dog]

Well serial killers always target the weaker elements of society so the handicapped are an obvious choice.However I'd like to kill moaney bastard singer song writers.

First I would lure them to my Fritzl style death chamber.Then i'd give them Sodium Pentathol and video them admitting they were cunts.Then I'd strangle them with a piano key neck tie.Then i'd set up a gig for them in the Mezz prop them up on stage and see how long it takes everyone to realize their dead!

 

[Ferox13]

There many times I wish i was one - it would kinda justify my bedwetting


As for victims - I would target American buskers who hassle people with unfunny comments as they pass them in Temple Bar..

 

[billygannon]

Ooooo...

I'd do that Dave Gorman thing.

Find 52 people who share the same name as me and... well... end their lives.

I think the method would involve a lot of cake.

 

[magicbastarder]

if you're going to be a serial killer, just kill people you don't like. in for a penny, in for a pound.

there's not that much difference between slowly, lovingly sliding a knife between someone's ribs, and killing a few thousand people. the only difference is the level of ambition.