Quotes from your child (2 Viewers)

[nooleen]

a friend's 14-year old son

"Mom you don't try and understand me, you try to fix me so my feelings don't burden you"

 

[Cornu Ammonis]

a friend's 14-year old son

"Mom you don't try and understand me, you try to fix me so my feelings don't burden you"

Emo.

 

[nooleen]

he's recently become a metaller actually

 

[Unicron]

Not my kid but my neighbour's niece. A little Irish-Filipino girl who moved here with her dad about 4 years ago because she was deaf and non-verbal and had better opportunities for support and education here. About 18 months ago she got a cochlear implant and I haven't seen her since.

"Hello"

 

[sleepy]

Conversation between my 2.5 year old and my wife.

Kid: Mammy, you don't have a penis
Wife: That's true, I don't.
K: I'll buy you one. In the shop.
W: Um, thanks.
K: (Handing over imaginary penis) Here you go Mammy.
W: Um, thanks.
K: Put it on already

 

[mark]

Got the report card for the five year olds first year in school today. There's a box where they comment on how they feel about their learning this year.

"I think I am really good at everything."

Top marks for humility anyway.

 

[Squiggle]

Darn back is acting up again, sitting awkwardly on the sofa trying to get food into the mouth of a bouncy 2 and a half year old who refused to eat at dinner time but announces he's starving 30 minutes after it's time for bed.
"Please sit still, I don't want to put food in your eye"
"You ok Mommy?"
"No, my back is very sore"
"Let me see" *jumps off sofa and runs round behind me, gently pokes and prods my back for a bit, gives it a kiss through my shirt, then back on to the sofa*
"I think your back is damaged... you need a cuddle!" which he proceeds to give me.

Back pain, what back pain... think my heart is going to explode though.

 

[pete]

the 2.5 year old, standing in the kitchen, sticks his finger up his nose, removes it, and says with perfect pronunciation - "oh!... a snot."

granny was very impressed.

 

[magicbastarder]

'i want to poop in your mouth' - 3 year old nephew.
'i have a spicy poo coming' - 3 year old nephew.
'hey, have a look at my poo' - 3 year old nephew.
'haha farty poop pants' - 3 year old nephew.
fun night babysitting.

 

[sleepy]

'i want to poop in your mouth' - 3 year old nephew.
'i have a spicy poo coming' - 3 year old nephew.
'hey, have a look at my poo' - 3 year old nephew.
'haha farty poop pants' - 3 year old nephew.
fun night babysitting.

We've toilet trained our young lad so he keeps telling us what his poo looks like. "Ooh, a rocket ship poo" or "Look, a snake poo" or "It's a carrot poo daddy"

 

[pete]

Her - "Magic doesn't exist, so how does santa claus get down the chimney?"

Me - "..."

uh oh.

 

[nooleen]

uh....trickery

 

[HMD]

Her - "Magic doesn't exist, so how does santa claus get down the chimney?"

Me - "..."

uh oh.

Shit, what happened next?

 

[pete]

Shit, what happened next?

I went with "there are lots of things that happen in the world that people can't explain" and changed the subject.

 

[Squiggle]

Toddler: "When I was a mountain, YOU were STUCK!"
Me: "What did you say?"
Toddler "When I was a mountain, you were STUCK... on ME"

The mind boggles

 

[sleepy]

Him, pointing at a bottle of shampoo earlier: "This says 'I like farting'"

 

[sleepy]

Brought the 3 year old to Arifield House. The highlight for him was a small hill that he spent about 30 minutes running up and down. At one point he shouted "Oh, I'll sleep tonight"

 

[sleepy]

Was trying to get the 3 year old to bed yesterday. He was doing his whole stalling and delaying thing. Patience was starting to wear thin for myself. He must have realized because he pointed at me and said "Don't say 'For fuck sake'"

 

[pete]

Not a quote, but i arrived home from work to find YouTube open on the PC with "make the perfect slime" as the last video search.

 

[sleepy]

My wife brought the 2 kids to the park yesterday. She took out a ball for the 3 year old to play with and straight away he started shouting "Yay, Team Sports!" and then running around with the ball shouting "Go Team!"