Quotes from your child (2 Viewers)

[7 - No tomorrow]

My sister sent me a video of her daughter that made my date spit out her wine

Handy things, kids

 

[HMD]

him: 'Dad, I hate your rules'

 

[egg_]

i think i only ever did that once

My brother did that only recently, and he just turned 37

 

[sleepy]

Walked in the door yesterday evening to find small boy kneeling on the sofa pouring water from his water bottle on it and himself.
*looks up, still pouring water on the sofa*
"Hiya Mommy! Mommy's home! (to his Dad in the kitchen)"
Me "What are you doing?"
Him... still pouring water "Wet knees!"
Me "stop pouring out your water"
him "Wet knees, wateron couch" (he always tacks 'on' onto the end of the word)

And tonight... pointing at my glass of wine
"wantsome"
"no, you can't have some wine"
"wantsome, little bit"
"no, no wine for you"
"just little bit... wantsome"

It's like we're living the same life.

 

[Squiggle]

It's like we're living the same life.

They're great at this age though. Sometimes the struggle to stay serious (because it really shouldn't be funny or encouraged) is too much.

His latest is to pretend to be scared of things, the action that goes with the words is just priceless and indescribable, but it's hilarious. Saturday evening we had this conversation
"Scareda Daddy!" he shouts, running up to me.
"What? Why?"
"Scareda Daddy, hurtey"
"You're scared Daddy will hurt you?" Incredulous at this stage since his Daddy wouldn't lay a hand on him.
Him with a look of fake fear/horror "Yeah, Daddy hurtey me", thinks a little "no, but could little bit" thinks a bit more "Daddy BIIIGGG!" as if that explains everything.

 

[sleepy]

They're great at this age though. Sometimes the struggle to stay serious (because it really shouldn't be funny or encouraged) is too much.

His latest is to pretend to be scared of things, the action that goes with the words is just priceless and indescribable, but it's hilarious. Saturday evening we had this conversation
"Scareda Daddy!" he shouts, running up to me.
"What? Why?"
"Scareda Daddy, hurtey"
"You're scared Daddy will hurt you?" Incredulous at this stage since his Daddy wouldn't lay a hand on him.
Him with a look of fake fear/horror "Yeah, Daddy hurtey me", thinks a little "no, but could little bit" thinks a bit more "Daddy BIIIGGG!" as if that explains everything.

Yeah, they're kind of both hilarious and enfuriating. And they also say stuff like that which sounds bad taken out of context. Like one night I was sleeping in his room because he was sick. His temerature was up during the night so I gave him paralink. The first thing he did next morning when my wife came into the room was point over at me saying "Daddy Bum"

 

[Squiggle]

That sounds very like the "Daddy! Kissy bottom!" incident. That moment when you realise that kissing injuries better has limits and, in my case, you're just happy that if the demand had to come in a crowded playground it wasn't directed at you

 

[pete]

"Do you know what the sun is made of?
Do you know what meteors are?
Do you know what the milky way is?
Do you know that Pluto isn't considered to be a planet anymore, because scientists think it's too small? It's a dwarf planet!"

Apparently they teach science in first class now.

 

[Unknown Convict]

"Do you know what the sun is made of?
Do you know what meteors are?
Do you know what the milky way is?
Do you know that Pluto isn't considered to be a planet anymore, because scientists think it's too small? It's a dwarf planet!"

Apparently they teach science in first class now.

did she get a visit from the guy with the mobile planetarium? they're all fuckin experts now. i had to wait til i got to jodrell bank at age 12.

 

[pete]

did she get a visit from the guy with the mobile planetarium? they're all fuckin experts now. i had to wait til i got to jodrell bank at age 12.

nah this all came from her teacher

 

[nooleen]

let's burn down the observatory so this'll never happen again

 

[Diddles]

Discussing his travels in the car with his two friends earlier: "I've been to Germany, England and Egypt."

I pointed out that he's never been to Egypt.

"You were in Egypt, I was in your belly, so I was in Egypt too".

I was there in 1999.

The rest of the conversation comprised of comparing how many times any of them or their family members have had occasion to piss into a bottle and/or shat in their trousers.

 

[David Kronenbourg]

My sister asked my niece what she did at her friend Ellen's house when she went to play there on Friday. 'Ellen did a poo in the toilet and I looked at it. And we did a bit of colouring.'

 

[nooleen]

well done ellen

 

[sleepy]

Was in my parents' house over the weekend. My 2 year old kept walking over to where my mam was sitting and farting really loudly. Then he'd point at her saying "Granny farts" before walking off again.

I've thought him well

 

[CinnamonBoy]

The young lad wants everything for Christmas.

His ma says to him that sorry, she doesn't have that much money.

"Daddy has LOADS of money", he whispers to her.

The little bollox!

 

[Squiggle]

Phrase of the weekend "Mommy did it" (by which he means he wants Mommy to do it).

Poor daddy was persona non-grata.
Offers to make "hungy" boy food - "Mommy did it?"
Offers to play cars - "Mommy did it?"
Movie - "Mommy did it?"
And then there was last night's melt down which eventually turned out to be because Daddy and not Mommy had zipped up his sleep suit. Unzipped and rezipped it and back to usual happy, smiley, self.

Being 2 is hard.

 

[snakybus]

"I had a dream that Anna fell off the Cliffs of Mohawk."

 

[pete]

After two hours -

"Well at least it's only two hours from here"

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[7 - No tomorrow]

After two hours -

"Well at least it's only two hours from here"

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The 9th circle of Arnott's