Quotes from your child (1 Viewer)

[RSJ]

Teacher (explaining about predators and the wild n stuff): Can anyone tell me what a predator of the frog is?
4 year old niece: The french.
4 year old french kid: We only eat their legs!

We still don't know if she was being factual or smarmy.

 

[Milker]

me 6 yr old shouted after my wife(4 months preggers on our 2nd) 'I loooove yoooouu.....don't let the baby escaaaaaape!!'

also asked if we could cut a hole in mammys belly so 'Samuel'('pparently the name has been signed off on!!) can see out...i count the kitchen knives each night now.

 

[lemonbravo]

this morning:

me: 'morning tillie, what happened last night, you woke up, did you have a bad dream?'

t: 'i had a nightbear'

 

[Jelly_Block]

"Mummy why does Daddy wear a helmet in the bank?"

and yesterday

Daddy, can I finish another one of your cigarettes?"

 

[snakybus]

Me to Nora (4), while holding Lois (4 months): Do you ever think you'd like a little brother?

Nora: What?

Me: Would you like to have a little brother?

Nora (after looking at Lois for a while): And give Lois back?

Me: Back to who?

Nora: To the doctor.

 

[egg_]

Isabelle: Santy isn't real

Mrs. egg_: What? Who told you that?

Isabelle: No one. But I never saw him

Mrs. egg_: You never saw America either [we had spent the previous evening with some American cousins]. Does that mean America isn't real?

Isabelle: What's "America"? America is NOTHING

 

[Milker]

Isabelle: Santy isn't real

Mrs. egg_: What? Who told you that?

Isabelle: No one. But I never saw him

Mrs. egg_: You never saw America either [we had spent the previous evening with some American cousins]. Does that mean America isn't real?

Isabelle: What's "America"? America is NOTHING

 

[snakybus]

Sounds like somebody has been whispering Isabelle stuff....someone like....HER DAD!

 

[Unicron]

Isabelle: Santy isn't real

Mrs. egg_: What? Who told you that?

Isabelle: No one. But I never saw him

Mrs. egg_: You never saw America either [we had spent the previous evening with some American cousins]. Does that mean America isn't real?

Isabelle: What's "America"? America is NOTHING

Your girl is going on some do not let in homeland security list.

 

[Squiggle]

Isabelle: Santy isn't real

Mrs. egg_: What? Who told you that?

Isabelle: No one. But I never saw him

Mrs. egg_: You never saw America either [we had spent the previous evening with some American cousins]. Does that mean America isn't real?

Isabelle: What's "America"? America is NOTHING

Has Isabelle been taking Philosphy lessons from jimmybreeze?

 

[Jill Hives]

My soon to be six-year-old nephew to my brother in law, annoyed after he forgot for the 3rd time to pick up a small snow shovel at the store for him to use outside. "Dad, I'll be the bigger person and forgive you..... this time." (Mind, this is after my sister was talking about a work situation on the phone with a co-worker) I swear the kid pick up everything.

 

[nlgbbbblth]

I had the vomiting bug on Monday morning.

In bed.

Could hear Wendy telling Matthew 'Daddy is sick'.

He walks into the room and taps me on the nose.

'Daddy. Are you sick?'

'Yes'

He walks out and returns a few seconds later with his bucket.

'Daddy. You want my bucket?'

 

[Diddles]

Today we moved on from blowing rasperries at each other to going

crrrrrrrrrrrrrkkkkhhhhhhhhh

at each other.

It's like CB radio.

 

[MDR]

My nephew:

Mother - 'What age is Daddy?'

Ciaran - 31

Daddy - Yeah plus VAT

Ciaran - Yeah, really fat

 

[magicbastarder]

my three year old niece to my mother, while my mother was driving:
'don't drive when the light is red, ganny'
'i know, darling'
'daddy drove while the light was red and knocked a man down (not true) and the man was all flat'
'really? what happened then?'
'the called an amabalance and the man went to hospital because he was all flattened'
'but then what happened?'
(exasperated) 'daddy had to get a new car!'
'but what happened the man?'
'there was a hole in his foot so they put a pump in the hole and pumped him up so he was okay again'

 

[lemonbravo]

"Daddy, i've done 'an american'"

"emm...ok, what do you mean, what's 'an american'?

"come on, i'll show you...."


as it turns out, 'an american' was actually diarrhoea.


'noah, do you know what american means?'

'no. I just forgot the word'

By the end of the evening it had entered the family vocabulary.

'where's daddy?'
'doing an american'

'daddy, tillie did a fart'
'tillie, do you need to do an american?'


I explained this morning though what 'american' actually means.

 

[egg_]

Shout from Isabelle's bedroom (when she was supposed to be asleep):

DAD! DAD!

I go down and discover her wedged in between the headboard and the wall.

"I'm stuck, Dad".

Ok, so I pull her out and put her in bed.

"I'm scared, I had a bad dream"

"What? You weren't even asleep, you were standing just there!"

"Well, there was something bad on the telly"

"What telly? We don't even have a telly"

"The pretend telly"

Hmmm

 

[snakybus]

Nora: I want to go and jump on the moon.

Me: But we'd need a spaceship to go to the moon, and we haven't got one.

Nora: We could get one.

Me: Where?

Nora (pausing to think): Maybe in the shops?

 

[Squiggle]

Nora: I want to go and jump on the moon.

Me: But we'd need a spaceship to go to the moon, and we haven't got one.

Nora: We could get one.

Me: Where?

Nora (pausing to think): Maybe in the shops?

That's so cute. When the older of my two nieces was very small she used to try and reach up to grab the moon.

 

[snakybus]

After watching E.T.:

Both of them, fingers extended: "Ooooooouch", followed by peals of laughter.

"Eeeeeee Teeeeee phoooooone hoooooome" - more laughter.

They thought E.T. was a comedy. Especially when he bumped into things and extended his neck.

When he dies:
Me: "Aren't you sad that ET is dead?"
Nora: "No, it's just on television."