Question for the ladies (or some tuned-in fellas) (1 Viewer)

[The]

eh..I'd say this is valid, if she has a lot of stuff going on she may not want to be trying to sort stuff out with you on top of it

 

[billygannon]

Yeah... leave it off until everything is okay with her mother.

 

[egg_]

Eeek! Holy shit dude, hold your horses until her ma's ok again

 

[steve ignorant]

thought yis would say that alright.
unfortunatley her ma isnt goin to get better (if you know what I mean), could be status quo for years.....

fucked up situation I know

 

[SONYMEGADRIVE]

she sounds vulnerable, i say go for it

 

[Gee Doctor]

she sounds vulnerable, i say go for it

wear a johhny though my fees are extortionate

 

[brianoak]

wear a johhny though my fees are extortionate

Hey Liam

 

[Gee Doctor]

Hey Liam

My name is Ray.

 

[classic seanc]

You should have mentioned the sick mother earlier dude. That's a major major complication.

Do you really really like her or is it just that you like the fact that she likes hangin round with you? Have a think about that.

 

[steve ignorant]

you are probably right there seanc
total head wrecker this one, think I'll just leave it for a while, see if she does anythin to suggest she is interested.
Its probably more important to just be a supportive mate at the moment, if we are into each other it'll happen eventually........

I'll have a ponder

cheers dudes and dudettes

 

[It Will Never Last]

I'll have a ponder

cheers dudes and dudettes

Don't know if this will be any help...

I still say trust your instincts and go for it. First of all, you need to ask yourself what your response will be if she says "I like you as a friend but..." Could you remain close to her and provide her with the support she needs as a friend? If the answer is yes/maybe then read on...

You need to be much more sensitive in the way you handle it (so don't get her drunk and shove your tongue down her throat) Ask to meet her over a coffee or a quiet drink some evening, sit down with her and tell her how you feel. Emphasise the fact that you will not treat her any different as a friend if she doesn't feel the same way, but explain that you've got the feeling that your relationship could be more than platonic. Let her know that you're concerned about her family situation and that you're worried that saying what you're saying might cause her hassle, but that you feel its too important to be left unsaid.

You've said her mam isn't going to get better, but that it might be like that for years. If thats the case, she can't be expected to put her life on hold until thats resolved, in fact it would be very unhealthy for her to do that.

Please note I am no expert in the feelings of others, but I do know what its like to deal with an extended terminal illness in the the family (dad died of cancer) and I know if I had been approached by a close female friend who felt about me the same way you do about this girl then I'd deal with it the same way I'd deal with it without the illness. TBH, the distraction would have been welcome, and my dad would have wanted me to be happy in any case.

Good luck kid.

 

[It Will Never Last]

So anyways, update time:

Love's young dream has stumbled at its first hurdle!

The lass has been very distant of late, which in itself isn't necessarily a bad thing (we all need our space), but to go from 20 texts and a few phone calls a day to zero is a bit odd. Alarum bells did ring. She also wasn't answering my calls, then making weak excuses as to why she didn't.

I've not been sleeping for the last two months so I'm an edgy fucker right now, and very fragile. Combine that with a few days off and nothing to do and my mind started racing. Thought I'd done something to fuck things up. Thought she might be losing interest. Fuck it, even thought she might be seeing someone else. Went for a drive on Monday night (we had a power cut and I'd fuck all else to do) with all this on my mind and spun the car coming on to the M1. Scared the life out of myself.

So I eventually got in touch with her on Tuesday, told her the silent treatment was leaving me very confused. She said she didn't realise she'd been so distant but she'd been busy with stuff. Said I hadn't done anything to piss her off, but she thought she might need some time to herself. Also said its a while since she was in a relationship and maybe just "forgot" she was supposed to make an effort.

End result I told her I'd give her some space, and she could get in touch with me when she was ready. She said she'd call me before the weekend. Still, its fucking hard work waiting to hear from her, I'm still stewing in my juices and thinking the worst.

Girls, seriously...I love yis, but yis were sent to test us men.

p.s. had to give in and go to me doc on Tuesday for sleeping tablets. I've tried everything else up to now, and no joy. Took one on Tuesday night, got seven hours of uninterrupted sleep for the first time since the middle of January. .|..|

 

[La La]

aw baby.
i'll be honest, it sounds like she's backing off a bit, but you boys do it too!

you're a good man, if she's not interested, there will be someone else who is.

but 20 texts a day in teh beginning? no wonder it seems like she's disappeared. if that's what was 'normal' in the beginning, like. it might pick up. but i hope it works out
x

 

[Squack]

guys do do the same, we're all as bad as eachother

its just finding the right person who will send the right amount of texts, ring the right amount of times and be able to take the good with the bad