puns (1 Viewer)

[potlatch]

OK, ok.

There was this Buddhist Monk right, and he had this rotten tooth. It was so painful he didn't know what to do so he went up the sacred mountain to the head monk dude to ask his sagely advice.

"Oh holy one what can I do?"

"Have you tried meditation, my child?"

"Yes, I have and still it pains me!"

"Have you tried Buddha's All purpose Hot Poultis, my child?"

"Yes, I have and still it pains me!"

The sagely head monk dude sat back, stroked his long beard, pondered for a few moments and finally said to the monk:

"I'm afraid, my child, that you will have to see the dentist..."

The monk objects, "Oh no! I transcend dental medication!"

 

[Rogue]

potlatch wins!

 

[Unicron]

There was the guy that took the Groucho Marx attitude to woman.

He wouldn't want to be in any woman that would accept his member.

 

[egg_]

Or, how about ...

A guy goes into a fancy restaurant, and orders squid from the waiter, Gervaise. Gervaise asks him to select a squid from the tank, wherein there are many squids, include a lime-green one with a moustache. Now the mustachioed squid had been the tank for some time, and all the staff has become fond of him. This customer, anyway, decides that he wants to eat said green squid, and selects him form the tank. Gervaise, though, being aqfully fond of this squid, can't bring himself to kill him, so wheels the tank into the kitchen to find someone else to do the deed. In the kitchen, he finds Hans, the dishwasher, and asks him to do the honours. So Hans selects a large knife, looks at the squid ... but can't bring himself to do it

And the moral of the story is:

Hans that does dishes can be soft as Gervaise with the lime-green, hairy lip squid

 

[Goodbye]

egg...

go sit in the corner and think about what you've just done

 

[Jimmy Magee]

Or, how about ...

A guy goes into a fancy restaurant, and orders squid from the waiter, Gervaise. Gervaise asks him to select a squid from the tank, wherein there are many squids, include a lime-green one with a moustache. Now the mustachioed squid had been the tank for some time, and all the staff has become fond of him. This customer, anyway, decides that he wants to eat said green squid, and selects him form the tank. Gervaise, though, being aqfully fond of this squid, can't bring himself to kill him, so wheels the tank into the kitchen to find someone else to do the deed. In the kitchen, he finds Hans, the dishwasher, and asks him to do the honours. So Hans selects a large knife, looks at the squid ... but can't bring himself to do it

And the moral of the story is:

Hans that does dishes can be soft as Gervaise with the lime-green, hairy lip squid

You can't beat puns derived from stories that have been contrived with the express purpose of deriving said puns