For the Love of the Children (1 Viewer)

[Unicron]

as you get older it gets kinda unseemly to have a girlfriend rather than a wife, makes you a look bit suspicious

And saying that you've got a partner just makes you seem like a spa.

 

[RSJ]

Missing the point, IMHO. A wedding is social validation of your relationship - it's not just about you, it's about your family and friends too

A wedding as opposed to a marriage?

 

[egg_]

A wedding as opposed to a marriage?

Well, yeah. The difference between a long-term relationship and a marriage is a wedding. Isn't it?

 

[RSJ]

Ah yeah. If i was getting married i'd probably head off somewhere and get it done on the quiet too, no interest in a big wedding.

 

[La La]

i like to believe a child is born out of respect and love for each other - something that can easily can exist outside of the contract of marriage.

if two people come together and love each other and have a baby fair fucks to them - and a big mind your own fucking business to those who think being born out of wedlock is a cross someone should bear.

this is 2007 for fucks sake!!!!


:heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart:

 

[nlgbbbblth]

I enjoyed our wedding. Wouldn't have been half as good if we went abroad. Nice to have family and friends around for it without putting people to the extra expense of having to get flights etc.

If you want a small wedding you don't have to go abroad for it.

 

[wild_cat]

Have the baby, im from a small village with around 500 people in the whole townsland and no body bats an eye lid if some one gets pregnant out of wedlock.

Its not the 50ties anymore.. and its not like your 14 or anything.

I often annouce that im never getting married and If i ever do I wont invite any of my family to which my da replies with "me only daughter doing that to us".

 

[Doctor Muscles]

And saying that you've got a partner just makes you seem like a spa.

and people might just assume you're gay

 

[Catwoman]

For the record, I think if I was to get married I would just go away just the two of us and do it ... Is that weird and selfish?!

No, it's exactly what I wanted to do. We decided to tie the knot for pension reasons (we've been together 12 years now) and I really liked the idea of a Vegas wedding. 'That's tacky!' said himself (no!) and couldn't bear the thought of Mammy not being there. I was persuaded to go for a small group of family and friends and before I knew it, it had gotten semi-traditional (white dress, suits etc but no religious aspect). It's a fuck's sight more expensive than I anticipated but I'm really looking forward to it now (August bank hol weekend).

The going away and doing it quietly might suit you, but do bear in mind you might regret not having your loved ones not being there to share it.

 

[Dromed]

Congrats Catwoman...!!!

I'm not into the idea of big family weddings - only cos my family would all kill each other in such an instance. Seriously. So if i was ever considering it, it would be away..in safety!

My parents split up years ago and then divorced when it came in. My dad recently married his long term girlfriend - they have four kids together - neither of them were too pushed on having to get married but really did it so that they are protected better by the law when he dies. In Ireland i think family law is still pretty hazy as to what your long term partner is entitled to (if you are unmarried) if the main earner in the house was to die. You can sort out ownership of houses etc. in a will but you can't claim pension etc. for your 'partner'. It's something that might be an issue if you were a full time parent and your partner was the only one earning money - if they die you might have problems in asserting your rights if you are unmarried.

 

[Catwoman]

Congrats Catwoman...!!!

I'm not into the idea of big family weddings - only cos my family would all kill each other in such an instance. Seriously. So if i was ever considering it, it would be away..in safety!

Thanks!

See I think there's a thing over here that you have to invite loads of family. It probably worked out better for us cos I'm English so I don't have like a billion aunties or anything like that. My dad hasn't spoke to his siblings in years so I don't have to worry about them. Himself is from a big Irish family, but doesn't like most of his relatives so he's just invited his parents and siblings. I don't know if this has caused a lot of grief - if it has we haven't heard about it. I was expecting the whole wedding thing to be a lot more stressful that it has been.

 

[MDR]

The only specific thing I can say to help you make up your mind is that, legally speaking, your partner would have no rights towards the child if you weren't married. In the event that you split up - which will hopefully never happen to yiz - it would be completely at your discretion whether or not you let him see the kids. I only found this out the other week.

Apart from that it's really a question of your own personal preference re marriage. Obviously, you can have a perfectly fulfilling relationship outside marriage. I don't think that the stigma that once applied to children born out of wedlock still applies, although our parents generation still have a preference for the paresnt to be married i think.

Personally I found that marriage brought myself and my wife closer and deepened our love for each other, but it's hard to explain why.

 

[Hector Grey]

Personally I found that marriage brought myself and my wife closer and deepened our love for each other, but it's hard to explain why.

superiority complex over all those singletons and "co-habitors" out there.

we're the children the pope was addressing, not these dirty stop outs

 

[Pantone247]

The only specific thing I can say to help you make up your mind is that, legally speaking, your partner would have no rights towards the child if you weren't married.

You can get a contract signed that says you do. Me and my daughters mother signed one and from then on I have full legal guardianship of my daughter. It was cheaper then a wedding too!

I was shocked that it had to be done, but without I have no rights at all. Disgraceful stuff IMHO.

 

[MDR]

You can get a contract signed that says you do. Me and my daughters mother signed one and from then on I have full legal guardianship of my daughter. It was cheaper then a wedding too!

I was shocked that it had to be done, but without I have no rights at all. Disgraceful stuff IMHO.

It's nice to know you can do that actually. Go Pantone!

 

[MDR]

superiority complex over all those singletons and "co-habitors" out there.

we're the children the pope was addressing, not these dirty stop outs

yeah, I love lording it over spinsters about how they're going to die alone.

 

[Catwoman]

You can get a contract signed that says you do. Me and my daughters mother signed one and from then on I have full legal guardianship of my daughter. It was cheaper then a wedding too!

I was shocked that it had to be done, but without I have no rights at all. Disgraceful stuff IMHO.

It is disgraceful. My a neighbour of my mother had a very bad time of it when her long-term partner died. Cos they weren't married she legally couldn't arrange the funeral. Had to get their 8 year old son to give permission! I dunno if that's changed now...

 

[Pantone247]

It's nice to know you can do that actually. Go Pantone!

to be fair I would never have known about it only a kindly lawyer friend told me, I assumed, like many would, that once my was on the birth cert I was cool... not true... so Go My Kindly Lawyer Friend!

[INSERT RANT ABOUT HOW HARD IT IS TO GET ANY INFO ON SINGLE FATHERING HERE, I'LL SPARE YOU ALL]

I'm lucky I've a good relationship with my daughters mother, so there was no problems getting it all in order. But if you didn't know the mother well (which happens) or had a difficult relationship, getting her to co-sign an agreement like that could be a nightmare...

It is disgraceful. My a neighbour of my mother had a very bad time of it when her long-term partner died. Cos they weren't married she legally couldn't arrange the funeral. Had to get their 8 year old son to give permission! I dunno if that's changed now...

Crikey that's awful...

on a happier note, congrats on the wedding!

 

[Mitchum]

It is disgraceful. My a neighbour of my mother had a very bad time of it when her long-term partner died. Cos they weren't married she legally couldn't arrange the funeral. Had to get their 8 year old son to give permission! I dunno if that's changed now...

What happened here, I reckon, was that she wasn't named as executor of estate on last will & testament of her partner. Small-print matter, easily fixed.

 

[c0De_n1NjA]

imagine inviting all your friends and family to your weeding. They would think they were going to your wedding and that the invites had a typo, but when they arrive you would just hand them a garden implement and some gloves.