F***in' C**ksucker (1 Viewer)

[Thebeard]

Ok, I’ve been driving from my apartment to my folks house to park my car then getting the bus to work. So I kept moving my car outside different houses so as not to annoy any of the owners by my car constantly being parked outside their house. So for the first time I parked outside this house. I reckon he noticed the car anyway and was waiting for the moment to strike. Anyway. I come back from getting the bus home, hop in the car and I notice immediately that I’ve a flat. Get out, start to change the tire when I noticed that the front was gone too. So I call a mate and he calls up, then his brother sees us and call over too. Next thing a neighbor pops out a few houses down and proceeds to tell us that the guy in number 5 has a habit of letting tires down who park outside his house. So we reckoned then that he only let the air out so we decide to take the both of them off and pump them in Statoil. Meanwhile the guy in no.5 comes out of his house, my brother walked over to him as asked him if he saw anything, he immediately gets defensive and answers in an aggressive manor “why are you asking me? What would I know? I don’t know what you’re talking about” to which Stew called him a prick.

So when we get the tires back we notice that there is a pinhole prick in both tires. We then found a pin where the car was parked. Then another neighbor came out asking what happened us, she was from number 6. When we explained she said “oh right, I’ll say no more”.

What a fuckin' cunt. I’m so annoyed it’s unreal. Two new fuckin' tires. What a cunt.

Should get vengance on him?

 

[Wilbert]

That's unreal. I would go absolutely mental at the prick.

It's amazing how some tools think they own the space outside their house.

Vengeance is definitely called for!

 

[SONYMEGADRIVE]

slash HIS tires!

 

[GO]

Thats a paddlin'.

 

[Froog]

 

[mr pharmacist!!!!1]

go home, sit down, neck a few yokes and forget about it pal.

 

[HMD]

Put in his windows

 

[Thebeard]

Cheers lads here's a few ideas my mates have had for vengance:

I recommend an intensive month of minor irritation. Keep changing the format so he doesn’t catch on.
Prank phone calls, a knick knack, lob litter into his garden, post him letters that say Nobody Loves You, dog shit on his driveway.
All minor stuff but over a period of time annoying

Ah yes, well there is a time honoured tradition of such merciless actions. My suggestion would be to glue broken glass in his driveway….


6 people. Dressed in balaclavas. 2 armed with washing up liquid. 2 with bags full of eggs. 2 with bags full of flour.

1) Those with the washing up liquid untie the bags (roughly 6 bottles) and throw onto the roof. When it rains, think of the bubbles (dan, think of rochestown parks fountain after any ball)
2) Launch the bags of eggs all over his gaf
3) Follow up by throwin flour all over the eggs
That is nice revenge. Not too costly to repair but one hell of a mess/smell especially in the heat where it will all dry up nice and quick…

draw on the car using soap…especially on the windows. When it rains then all the messages start appearing!


Or on a slightly less malicious level, you could glue his post box shut, release ants into his garden, do the whole ‘lighting brown bag full of dog/your sh*t and ring the door bell gag’, paint ‘homo’ in his driveway (if he is an ex guard he will hate that one!), let the air out of his tyres, paint his car, write homo on his car, each night remove a brick from his garden wall, paint his windows, put glue on the door handle of house/car, leave him a baby in a cot on his doorstep.

Get loads and loads of worms from a bait shop and scatter them all over his car/house at dawn and just let the birds go feckin nuts all over the shop, they’ll sh*t everywhere!!!!

 

[Froog]

invite him to a dinner party then when he turns up poke him with your boner and look at him blankly.

 

[La La]

throw a spanner at his face

 

[La La]

shit. absolutely EVERYWHERE.

 

[La La]

offer him some homemade bread as a goodwill gesture

 

[Vinnie]

Pee in your pants

 

[La La]

take his car and 'do some hoodrat stuff'

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[La La]

ok i'm all out of ideas

 

[rettucs]

ok i'm all out of ideas

take a deep breath....

and get over it

you didn't catch him in the act so the fucker has gotten away with it.

harsh, but true.

 

[La La]

take a deep breath....

and get over it

you didn't catch him in the act so the fucker has gotten away with it.

harsh, but true.

why are you telling me that?

 

[Froog]

offer to shampoo his hair, then spoog in it and laugh.

 

[rettucs]

make him a mix tape with really shit songs on it

that'll teach the fucker

 

[rettucs]

why are you telling me that?

there are loads more ideas.

but I wasn't telling you. I was telling morg.

I just quoted you.

sorry.