dump (1 Viewer)

[gipetto]

Does anyone live in close proximity to a g.a.a grounds?
Well I do. And there's this little alleyway leading up to my gaff and all the mucksavages soil the place with their dirty beer shits and have the place smellin foul. They dont seem to have any shame whatsoever. Like one time my granny was in the sitting room window and three of them walk up and get busy right there in front of her and had the cheek to nod at us as they were leaving. If you think about it, what are the odds of getting away witha clean break after 8 pints and 2 curry chips. I'd say there's a fierce amount of hurling fans walkin around with dirty arses on them.

And the legend in my school was some mad bastard who wrote "I AM THE SHITTER" with his own faeces on the bathroom wall.

Fuckin legend.

 

[herv]

heres a story for you.

now it sounds a bit urban myth-ish, but a friend of mine claims he was at a party a few years ago in a friend's parents house while they were away. at one stage during the party some unknown person crept upstairs and into this poor guy's parent's room, shut the door and shit in their bed. he then pulled the covers over the deposit, and laid the electric blanket on a low heat over the duvet.
he then left the room, and locked the door behind him. the guy whos parent's house it was spent the next few days at his girlfriend's house, so he knew nothing of the event, until his father broke the bedroom door lock 3 days later.

mmmm.

herv.

 

[ronan]

chrith (01 Feb, 2002 09:57 a.m.):
gluey shit...jeeeeeesus egg_

speakin of gluey shit (you were, weren't you?), a coupla weeks ago i drunkenly stumbled into a public jacks. after finishin my messy business, i eventually managed to comprehend that there was no jacks roll.
after considerin a few options, i noticed that the cistern was duct-taped down to the rest of the toilet (which reminds me of a completely different story, but however...).

so a few lousy scraps of mouldy torn-off duct-tape had to do the job.

i wish i could say *this* was a low ebb...

 

[Stuart Little]

unpleasant

The dedicated amongst you can have a rummage around to find the thread where I posted details of my w.c. adventures, assisted by an A6 glossy ruled feint ring-bound notepad and a dirty j-cloth.

There's also the one about my poop in the woods when all the flies arrived. Nasty and frightening.

 

[krystal]

Missing

Pantone247 (01 Feb, 2002 02:58 p.m.):
Stweart my little feces fanatic

while not sure on the exact destails I believe the down turn in dog poo is directly linked to improved standards in dog food

apparently this is true
the question of dog poo irked me for some time a few years ago until someone told me why.

And apparently whiskas lifeforce is bollocks.

 

[krystal]

nlgbbbblth (02 Feb, 2002 01:21 a.m.):
Does anyone remember the portaloos being manually pushed over by a group of blokes at Feile 92??

There was a girl inside one of them whose festival was ruined.

YES.

I also recall throwing up outside them due to the stink and the fact that the shit was backing up in them by friday night. Also I unfortnately went to use them in my socks, and well...had to leave my socks there, and spend a lot of time frantically wiping my feet on any available tent / grass I could find.

 

[ronan]

ronan (04 Feb, 2002 10:40 a.m.):

chrith (01 Feb, 2002 09:57 a.m.):
gluey shit...jeeeeeesus egg_

speakin of gluey shit (you were, weren't you?), a coupla weeks ago i drunkenly stumbled into a public jacks. after finishin my messy business, i eventually managed to comprehend that there was no jacks roll.
after considerin a few options, i noticed that the cistern was duct-taped down to the rest of the toilet (which reminds me of a completely different story, but however...).

so a few lousy scraps of mouldy torn-off duct-tape had to do the job.

i wish i could say *this* was a low ebb...

aaah, twas good to get that off m'chest.

also kinda reminded me of the joke -

bear + rabbit in the woods...both takin a dump...
BEAR - "hey rabbit, do you have trouble with shit stickin to your fur?"
RABBIT - "no, why?"
bear picks up rabbit and wipes his arse with him

 

[pete]

surely it would be more advantageous for the bear if shit DID stick to the rabbits fur?

 

[Anne OMalley]

Good point, Pete. That bear was obviously ass-loose and turd-crazy.

pete (04 Feb, 2002 11:36 a.m.):
surely it would be more advantageous for the bear if shit DID stick to the rabbits fur?

 

[ronan]

pete (04 Feb, 2002 11:36 a.m.):
surely it would be more advantageous for the bear if shit DID stick to the rabbits fur?

good point.

i'll go back to the jacks wall where i read it and try and find some answers there.

 

[#10-7]

another story where i look like a fool.

so i'm in a toilet in a bus station (finishing a poo) and there's loads of phone numbers for gay men, like: 'hi, i'm a tall black gay male looking for some private fun, text only :086 blah blah'.
so i got the great idea to take down a number and text it from my mates phone to wind him up..
and so there i am am beeping the number into my phone and the sound of me entering the number is echoing around the jacks...
when i walk out there was two guys just standing there, not pissing, looking at me.

smiling.

 

[old]

This Bearded Lady I know who shall not be named was in a nordie friend's hovel and found a turd in the freezer.
Said nordie proudly explained that he freezes his turds to achieve the pleasant experience of Frozen Re-entry.

I thought white dogturds were from chewing bones.
People don't seem to give their dogs bones anymore.

Ro, respect for the Mound reference.

 

[#10-7]

joss (04 Feb, 2002 12:01 p.m.):
I thought white dogturds were from chewing bones.
People don't seem to give their dogs bones anymore.

ooooh never though of that...

 

[Anne OMalley]

Just looking at your picture there, Joss...

Are you in fact the first person in the EU to be going out with himself?

joss (04 Feb, 2002 12:01 p.m.):
This Bearded Lady I know who shall not be named was in a nordie friend's hovel and found a turd in the freezer.
Said nordie proudly explained that he freezes his turds to achieve the pleasant experience of Frozen Re-entry.

I thought white dogturds were from chewing bones.
People don't seem to give their dogs bones anymore.

Ro, respect for the Mound reference.

 

[steveamanakick]

gipetto (02 Feb, 2002 11:51 a.m.):
Does anyone live in close proximity to a g.a.a grounds?
Well I do. And there's this little alleyway leading up to my gaff and all the mucksavages soil the place with their dirty beer shits and have the place smellin foul. They dont seem to have any shame whatsoever. Like one time my granny was in the sitting room window and three of them walk up and get busy right there in front of her and had the cheek to nod at us as they were leaving. If you think about it, what are the odds of getting away witha clean break after 8 pints and 2 curry chips. I'd say there's a fierce amount of hurling fans walkin around with dirty arses on them.

And the legend in my school was some mad bastard who wrote "I AM THE SHITTER" with his own faeces on the bathroom wall.

Fuckin legend.

Were you in Ard Scoil the time that "some of the lads" robbed the statue of Jaysus Chroist and propped him up against one of the urinals so it looked like he was taking a whizz? Or when "some of the lads" put a rather elaborate "wanted" poster under the picture of the pope, detailing all his heinous crimes...twas amusing. But i'll tell you what what wasn't amusing, when the weird guy who sat in front of me went off to the toilet and came back and put something under his desk..after school, we were unfortunate enough to find that 'twas a tayto bag with a big yellow shit in it. He's very tall now, incidentally.

 

[old]

Anne O'Malley goaded:
Are you in fact the first person in the EU to be going out with himself?

Yes. Although the Swiss do it all the time, apparently.

This retarded guy who lived near me used to shit in his hand and throw it.
Actually, his brother and brother's pal used to give him a hard time.
They tied him to a table once and force-fed him raw rhubarb.
Then another time they attached a mic to his radio/tape thingum and hid with it in the attic.
When he went to bed they whispered 'This is god, you're going to DIE' over and over, terrifying the poor fella.
But yes, he threw his shit.
That was my point.

 

[steveamanakick]

Good point, and duly noted.

 

[anonymous coward]

herv (03 Feb, 2002 03:34 p.m.):
heres a story for you.

now it sounds a bit urban myth-ish, but a friend of mine claims he was at a party a few years ago in a friend's parents house while they were away. at one stage during the party some unknown person crept upstairs and into this poor guy's parent's room, shut the door and shit in their bed. he then pulled the covers over the deposit, and laid the electric blanket on a low heat over the duvet.
he then left the room, and locked the door behind him. the guy whos parent's house it was spent the next few days at his girlfriend's house, so he knew nothing of the event, until his father broke the bedroom door lock 3 days later.

hmm doubt its the same person, but this happened to my brother. one of his mates came in my parents bed (actually the girl spat it back onto the sheets) and then pulled up the cover. my mam and dad came home on the sunday night and found it, but my brother didnt know about it.

he wasnt allowed out for a good while...

anonymous post for various reasons...

 

[Gav]

This thread was great.
They don't make 'em like this anymore.

 

[wild_cat]

Best thread ive ever read on thumped, ever. .|..| .|..|