Break-ups (2 Viewers)

[jonah]

I'd have to agree with Jill.

 

[FiFi_LaRue]

theweeyin, you seem pretty happy these days (at least via facebook status) so I wouldn't think too hard on it. Enjoy what ever you're doing and don't bother trying to read into anything or assume. It will work itself out, one way or another eventually.

Eggzackly!

 

[David Kronenbourg]

unusual

 

[daydream_nation]

There is nothing more frustrating than someone giving unasked for advice especially if they are analysing your activities. I had a similar experience before and if I had a stressful day at work and was in a quiet mood I was denying my feelings or if I was talking too much I was not being reflective enough.

Its sooooooooooo annoying and I had to get out of that one fast. I found it tends to come from those training to be a counsellor as I've had a couple of experiences like this. Obviously thats very general just my experience

hahaha what a laugh, i only saw this now. indeed this does happen with some people. in my experience though its more people who work in the area and dont have much formal training. itd be professionally bizarre to treat colleagues like that and on a personal level just really fucking annoying. on the other side of things, theres nothing worse than telling someone you're a psychologist and them asking you 'are you analysing me?', or my favourite, 'what am i thinking?'. mostly couldnt give a shit to be honest.

 

[тхеодоре кацзынски]

how queer

 

[spuded]

Agreed with the bold part. Usually I become very close to those I actually have a committed relationship. Seems strange NOT to be friends unless one person is not emotionally capable of handling it. Maybe he's just saying he is capable and now that you're with someone new he hopes you can be too? Or maybe I'm just odd for being good freinds with all my long-term exes?

Couldn't agree with your sentiment more, I honestly think its one of the most important lessons I learned during my life. Just recently broke up with my ex, doing the staying friends thing cause there was no massive falling out, just things happened, but we will stay mates I'm sure of it. Anyway one of my other closest friends is a girl I went out with 8 years ago now, went out for about a year, I was crazy about her, we broke up and I was still crazy about her, but I put the effort in and learnt how we could still be friends (actually ended up being part of a house share together a couple of months later and had to watch as her life moved on with new guys etc) . It was not easy at the time but our friendship means the world to me now. I also like to show people that when I say I care about someone I actually fucking do, not just for the sake of what I can get out of it in a relationship sense.

Obviously I have some ex's I don't speak to, mainly because I realised in retrospect that these people were not people I should a) have gone out with b) even been friends with.

But yeah its a beautiful thing when an intense relationship love can turn into a friendship where you can say pretty much whatever you feel because the person knows you all to well already.

 

[Lili Marlene]

I don't like the mature, grown-up route this thread is heading

 

[CinnamonBoy]

I don't like the mature, grown-up route this thread is heading

Me neither. Spuded's considered and thoughtful reflections have merely served to make me feel even more bitter and twisted and I'm also pretty jealous that he actually has not just one or two exes, but a seemingly limitless supply of exes to be or not be friends with.

 

[Anarcho Munk]

Me neither. Spuded's considered and thoughtful reflections have merely served to make me feel even more bitter and twisted and I'm also pretty jealous that he actually has not just one or two exes, but a seemingly limitless supply of exes to be or not be friends with.

Keep trying dude

 

[Lili Marlene]

Even casanova gets lonely sometimes!

 

[dleacht]

I went for dinner last week with my ex and was debating if I'd tell him I was seeing someone. Turned out it was fine cos he announced it first and then thought I was making it up I was seeing someone just because he was. How mature!!!! Anyways after a few minutes of talking about he realised I am seeing someone and pretty happy about it

 

[rettucs]

I don't like the mature, grown-up route this thread is heading

don't worry John, they're the exception not the rule.

the world is still normal out there

 

[theweeyin]

I don't reckon he is, I'm a mad fan of clearing the air myself, mostly because it just seems unnecessary to suddenly stop being friends with someone who's a pretty decent person merely because the relationship didn't work out... obviously it depends on the circumstances, but when its relatively amiable I'm a fan of clear air. He could just be thinking about it along those lines.

Honestly, I think people read way too much into simple things. Most of the time when I'd think of things, such as his e-mail, it would be at work. When I'm home or out on the town I'm generally entertained enough to dwell on stuff. At work, my mind is restless and the internet is right there in front of me. It's too easy to quickly type something up and send it along and more often than not, regret.

theweeyin, you seem pretty happy these days (at least via facebook status) so I wouldn't think too hard on it. Enjoy what ever you're doing and don't bother trying to read into anything or assume. It will work itself out, one way or another eventually.

Spot on the money here ladies - thanks for that. I send a reply back and he phoned and it was all basically that he felt guilty about not telling me the other night that he was seeing someone else, even though he already knew that I had suspicions.

We are trying hard to make the friends thing work because that's essentially all we were before we broke up - we were just trying to make something more out of it. It's weird feeling almost the same about each other but having to understand that it isn't love that we're feeling, well not the sexy kind anyway, it's just friendship.

We talked about each others 'new partners' (a bit early for that title actually) and it wasn't even really that strange. Hopefully it'll all work out and we'll become great mates. I want that and so does he.

Re-adjusting is hard sometimes though, even though I don't still fancy him or anything! Different boundaries.

 

[rettucs]

don't worry John, they're the exception not the rule.

the world is still normal out there

I stand corrected....

 

[тхеодоре кацзынски]

so......how do i go about this?

 

[jonah]

I'm glad things worked out for you theweeyin, hope the friends thing works out for you. its always worth a try, especially if theres no underlying sexual tension between you, thats always what makes it weird, i think.

 

[HMD]

so......how do i go about this?

i think it's done by text these days

 

[тхеодоре кацзынски]

i think it's done by text these days

that would be ideal but im trying to be sound about it for once.

 

[theweeyin]

that would be ideal but im trying to be sound about it for once.

Jesus, B, you could've just sent me a PM!

 

[Lili Marlene]

announce it by twitter.

same with breaking up bands