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we used to get this religious magazine back in my primary school days. i can't remember what it was called but there was a rather comedic piece in it every month about a young boy who couldn't spell. muggsy or puggsy or something like that.

I'm THERE biggest fan. I'm THERE biggest fan? I'M THERE BIGGEST FAN!? slurms turns around and vomits blood all over his new carpet. listen up sparsezy, if you want to last more than 5 minutes around here you'll have to improve your grammar. at this rate you've probably offended at least 50% of...

ehhh.... slurms desperately thinks of an excuse so as to avoid getting his head kicked in. then he remembers that everyone else here is a complete fairy. then he remembers that he is the biggest fairy of all. then he remembers that he has a big brother! then he remembers that his brother is...

nine free zone!? NINE FREE ZONE!?! firstly: no such thing secondly: i hope there never is, have you forgotten the slogan -"nine for president 2006"? pay no attention to him nine. i still love you (only in a sexual way).

cunt hook.

ehh, i don't think anyone cares about what shoes you'll be wearing, you tosser. oh, hang on... you were talking about the chairs!!!oh ok bring them, don't want to spend the night standing up now do we*!!!! *= the royal we.

...if i may put my oar in at this stage. i think they're from san francisco. saw them a couple of times last summer, probably the best live band in the world..... ever! other than the redneck manifesto, jimmy cake and c4o of course.

enter the jimmy cake all dressed in full orange men get-up. one of them is carrying a ghettoblaster which is playing the greatest hits of kenny g very loudly. the camera pans down. they have all simultaneously wet themselves. their urine mingles in an ever-expanding puddle around their feet.

enter slurms dressed in a pair of tight yellow shorts, a stained t-shirt with a "progressive democrats 4 life" slogan across the chest, and a pair of worn out black plimsolls. "oh, hello 10years my old chum!... what is it you commoners say... OH YES! what is the suss!!! ahahah!" meanwhile...

alright? long time no internet wreckage, as my mother used to say, but my ma's dead, as fansap used to say, may god have mercy on her soul, as justin faschinu used to say, before he was caught out as a gay child molester.... whatta guy.

alternate ending : phantom menace. darth maul has just defeated guigon, obi waits behind the red shield thing. darth maul walks over and back grimacing. suddenly the shield opens and obi rushes in, the battle begins. maul knocks obi into the ventilation shaft. obi clings on for dear life...

slurms sits down at a computer, as happy as larry (gogan). he reads on thumped that monkey has been ignoring him. the song "Saltwater (wells in my eyes)" by Julian Lennon starts to play in his mind. untill this moment he never understood the true depth to the meaning of these lyrics. slurms...

corky from life goes on rates pretty highly in my all time best 20 questions games.... up there with violet berlin and falco.

did you watch the embassy world championchip final the other night? great stuff altogether. i was rooting for ebdon all the way but i did feel slightly sorry for hendry at the end slightly. poor old ronnie though: the most natural talent the game's ever seen. hendry: greatest player to ever...

i'm on the arse of that!

slurms is dressed in a rather raggedy tweed suit. he is arched over slightly. his hands are in his jacket pockets. his left leg is moving up and down of its own accord "BALLYGOWAN IS IT?! BALLYGOWAN! i tell ya', it's far from ballygowan ye' were reared!"

they shold call it "lord of the rings 2: peter jackson is one of the worst film makers in history and has no penis".... just cause it was the name of the second book.

dark room. no windows. one door. syb is gagged and tied up to a chair. he/she (can't be too sure these days) has blood dried up all over his/her nose and face. suddenly...enter slurms in full millitary uniform with lots of medals and flaggy things and shit. he walks towards syb and places his...

ah! intelligent dance music, as opposed to unintelligent dance music....(sigh)... classic. as far as i know that term hasn't really taken off anywhere other than the usa, probably cause it's full of anus trout . but no, my names more like someone who want's to dislike hippy music but still had...

8, so it can't be that. i think it's just a standard name for somone who want's to be mad into electro but really only ever listens to air .....and falco (not that that's a bad thing). seriously though, nine is sexxxy.