Stuff Customers say to me in work (2 Viewers)

[Scientician 0.8]

The main phrase I've heard in my about 15 years of working in the shop has been:

"Free Education, me arse!"

followed by

"That time of year again!"

and, customer having looked up at our shop sign

"Is this [our competitor with completely different name]?"

 

[Catwoman]

I work for a teachers' union.

The most common phrase (after "I pay your wages") is "I don't want to speak to a robot"

Accounts dept often get:
"I'm not giving you my membership number"
"Well how can I access your account?"
"Now you're just being smart"

One of my favourites was when I asked someone where they are currently teaching and they couldn't remember.

Oh and someone wrote an angry letter on some wallpaper and posted it in too.

 

[Lili Marlene]

"I'm having trouble making a payment, here is my e-mail address, password, credit card number, expiry date and CVV2 code. can you make it for me please?"


Tempted to respond with: "eh, yeah, just send me proof of address and photo ID as well, kthx"

 

[David Kronenbourg]

"is eddie murphy in this? i love eddie murphy" customer asking about mothman prophecies or some shit

 

[Thebeard]

working in the same shop as above:

customer: " yeah, these headphones broke, i need a refund"

me: "ok sir, do you have a receipt?"

him: "no"

me: "ok, well , when exactly did you buy them and do you remember what the sales assistant looked like?"

i can search the system and print a duplicate if needs be, i dont have to but he seemed genuine.

him: "eh, two days ago. yep, a girl sold them to me"

so i search the system (and roster) and no female staff were on that day, nor any of that model headphones sold.

i ask him again, same answer.

me: "listen, im sorry but there are no records of that sale for that day or surrounding ones. if you had a receipt, it would make things alot easier"

him, getting angry: "well i dont have one. AM I SUPPOSED TO KEEP ALL MY RECEIPTS?! what do you do if you have to return something?!"

me: "i keep my receipts"

him :" well, now i KNOW you're lying!"

me: "i am not, sir. most people do it in case instances like these occur. so you can prove you bought the item. and i don't appreciate being spoken to like that"

him "i want to hear what you're manager has to say about this!"

me: "i am in charge of the shop at the moment as the manager is off today"

him: "oh yeah, that's convenient isn't it?!"

me: "i can get him to call you tomorrow when he is back in if that's any use to you"

him: "no"




seriously.

You're an asshole.

 

[Kid Lovebeach]

'do you have any albums by that guy from the 60's?'

 

[Moods For Mallards]

'do you have any albums by that guy from the 60's?'

Yep, we have all the Bob Dylan albums. Go to 'D'.

 

[BonsaiSuperstar]

'do you have any albums by that guy from the 60's?'

Sweetoblivion was asked something like "do you have that song by those 2 fellas rapping".
By chance she got it as she had seen them on some MTV awards the previous night

 

[Kid Lovebeach]

Yep, we have all the Bob Dylan albums. Go to 'D'.

Haha that's pretty much exactly what I said.
But I think it was actually Neil Diamond they wanted.

 

[David Kronenbourg]

i worked in a cinema.

customer (standing beside not one but two listings boards, with hundreds of timetables stacked in front of them and everywhere else in the lobby): "what's on??"

 

[Denny Oubidoux]

Two recent ones for me:
"you look like a jew"
"twat"

 

[GrumpyEditor]

I don't really have customers but my boss comes out with some real classics:

"Why are you late?"
"How many coffee breaks can you take in one morning?"
"Do your job."
"Stop touching my leg like that."

Some people, huh?

 

[ernesto]

You're an asshole.

you're pretty predictable

 

[Unicron]

I had a somewhat opposite experience recently, some guy (I think he was Dutch, had that sort of clipped european accent and claimed to be called Nigel) cold called me looking for business.

"Hi, I'm calling about your internet security, viruses and spyware and blah blah blah very dangerous you need protection ..."

"Let me stop you there, thank you for calling but I've actually got a degree in computing and I'm capable of looking after these things for us myself."

"What sort of degree?"

"I've got an honours degree in computer science I know how to protect our computers from viruses."

"I don't think you know what you're talking about."

"I'm hanging the phone up on you now."

"Why? You need protection, I don't think you're aware of the problem."

"I'M HANGING THE PHONE UP ON YOU NOW. DON'T CALL AGAIN."

 

[Moods For Mallards]

I had to tell a rapper that he owed us (a hotel) 4 grand for damage to his room during his stay.
This was on the phone.
He said lots of crazy shit to me, if I could remember it would make a great story.

 

[ratmonkey]

I had to tell a rapper that he owed us (a hotel) 4 grand for damage to his room during his stay.
This was on the phone.
He said lots of crazy shit to me, if I could remember it would make a great story.

Was it Nailerz?

 

[Moods For Mallards]

I used to work in a web hosting company that was located in a row of shops, beside a spar.
There was only 3 or 4 of us working there. On this particular occasion I was in the office on my own. Anyway, a well-dressed woman in her forties came into the shop in a panic, wielding two phones.
"Hello. Do you know how to delete text messages?", she asked.
"Eh, yes", said I.
"Great. This is very important: my marriage is at stake", she blustered.
Continuing, she explained that she had intended to send racy texts to her lover but in the classic schoolgirl error accidentally sent them to her husband's phone. He was out and had left his phone behind but would be back soon. She didn't know how to delete the messages and reckoned us computer people would be able to help.
So I obliged, having a read of the filthy, filthy materials before consigning them to oblivion and saving this woman's tawdry fling with her 19-year-old café proprieter stud.*
She was ever so grateful and left in a dash as urgent as her entrance.

* This bit is a lie.

 

[shower another shower]

When I was 16, I was packing groceries at the Alpha Beta supermarket on 17th St., Costa Mesa, CA.
A beautiful black woman says to to me, "what time do you get off?". I say, "sorry?". She says, "what time do you get off?". I said, "Eight O'clock,".
She says to me, "can I watch?". I said, "what?". "Can I watch?".
I turned red and shied away.
Maybe the biggest mistake of my life.

 

[RSJ]

"ah no, i'll not give you my credit card details over the phone, it's not safe i've been warned. I'll just fill them out on this form you've sent and post them in if that's ok".

 

[GO]

......