Stuff Customers say to me in work (1 Viewer)

[Lili Marlene]

"Your system is like child abuse"

 

[Lili Marlene]

"it's not the money. I am an eccentric millionaire and the money doesn't matter to me. It's the principle."

 

[тхеодоре кацзынски]

where do you work?

 

[magicbastarder]

the catholic church.

 

[Squiggle]

not strictly a customer

This one has been on to our customer care centre (20+ mintues) then our receptionist here (another 20 minutes and hung up on her) and then rang back and asked to speak to a manager.

her: "your code of practice is flawed"
me: "have you read it"
her: "no, I don't have to"
me: "ok, well, how is it flawed?"
her: rants on about something that is covered adequately by our code of practice and proposes a solution that would be completly unworkable.
me: that is covered in Section blah, blah, blah of the Code of Practice - let me send you a copy.

 

[David Kronenbourg]

customer complaining to one of my old managers about us: "and they hid behind the shop when we approached, and i could hear them singing 'we're not going to serve you! we're not going to serve you!'"

 

[Lili Marlene]

customer: "my carer stole my credit card and used it on your system"
me: "oh dear, what's the number and we'll find the payments"
customer: "it's on the shelf in front of me but I don't have the use of my limbs or a carer to hand it to me so I don't know"
me: "errrrr....."

 

[Thebeard]

Caller: "You are all murderers"
Me: "Sir, I am not a murderer"
Caller: "Yes you are, you're a murderer"

 

[тхеодоре кацзынски]

Caller: "You are all murderers"
Me: "Sir, I am not a murderer"
Caller: "Yes you are, you're a murderer"

theres no arguing with that in fairness.

 

[Squiggle]

customer complaining to one of my old managers about us: "and they hid behind the shop when we approached, and i could hear them singing 'we're not going to serve you! we're not going to serve you!'"

did you actually do that?

 

[therealjohnny]

Some candidates for

http://notalwaysright.com/

 

[Lili Marlene]

me: "hello, thank for your contacting blah blah blah, can I get your name please?"
customer: "My name??? Fucks sake" *hangs up*

 

[daydream_nation]

service users as opposed to customers here but anyway..

'he's very hyper,he'd want something to calm him down. a laxative or something'

and a classic from yesterday, a parent told us she can't tell her son she was here cos he'll say what are you going over talking to those spastics about me for. genius

 

[Lili Marlene]

"I've joined the facebook group against your company"

 

[CinnamonBoy]

Caller: "It's not funny. Do you think this funny?"
Me: *giggling*

It was a coping mechanism.

 

[dudley]

when i used to work in game on grafton st

"where do yis keep de sausage rolls?"

 

[ernesto]

working in a Sony shop:

"where do yiz keep the panasonics?"

so my friend / colleague motions him over towards the door bit by bit and gives him directions down the shopping centre. all the way. to Dixons.

 

[ernesto]

working in the same shop as above:

customer: " yeah, these headphones broke, i need a refund"

me: "ok sir, do you have a receipt?"

him: "no"

me: "ok, well , when exactly did you buy them and do you remember what the sales assistant looked like?"

i can search the system and print a duplicate if needs be, i dont have to but he seemed genuine.

him: "eh, two days ago. yep, a girl sold them to me"

so i search the system (and roster) and no female staff were on that day, nor any of that model headphones sold.

i ask him again, same answer.

me: "listen, im sorry but there are no records of that sale for that day or surrounding ones. if you had a receipt, it would make things alot easier"

him, getting angry: "well i dont have one. AM I SUPPOSED TO KEEP ALL MY RECEIPTS?! what do you do if you have to return something?!"

me: "i keep my receipts"

him :" well, now i KNOW you're lying!"

me: "i am not, sir. most people do it in case instances like these occur. so you can prove you bought the item. and i don't appreciate being spoken to like that"

him "i want to hear what you're manager has to say about this!"

me: "i am in charge of the shop at the moment as the manager is off today"

him: "oh yeah, that's convenient isn't it?!"

me: "i can get him to call you tomorrow when he is back in if that's any use to you"

him: "no"




seriously.

 

[Jill Hives]

Not me but a friend who works a public desk in a city library:

Caller: I think I might have ODed on heroin.
Friend: Where are you? Call 911
Caller: No cops. I heard there was a milkshake you could drink to stop it. How do I make the milkshake?
Friend: Call 911 or I can for you.. where are you?
Caller: I just need the recipe for the milkshake
Friend: No such thing exist go to a hospital!
Caller hangs up


Caller: I want to know if real female parts look like they do in my book.
Friend: Sir, I don't know what book you're looking at.
Caller: The one on my lap.
Friend: Are they photographs or drawings? Is it a medical book? Or a magazine?
Caller: It's the book on my lap.
Friend: Okay then, yes.



Me selling expensive chocolates to annoying rich people:

I wrap a box of chocolates... the woman is in a hurry and giving me grief.... it's 35+ degree C outside that day.
Woman: I've a bit more shopping before I go home today, will these be okay in my car?
Me: Yes.

Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer.

 

[Juno]

While working for a certain free ads magazine back in the mists of time I was regularly asked a) where exactly we were based as "I've the trailer loaded up with all the furniture and we'll be up there in about an hour" and b) "Did I sell that table/sofa/Nissan Micra yet?" Er, not how it works...