There's a kitten hiding in the smoking shed (1 Viewer)

[Catwoman]

I was talking to the DSPCA the other day and they told me that they don't put animals down if they can't rehome them. The pounds do put animals to sleep after 5 days, they get a lot longer with the DSPCA, and the DSPCA take stray cats in because there is no cat pound apparently, but a small bunch of independent cat helper dudes. I'd trust the DSPCA after being there but I was only there for a couple of hours.

Aaaaaah, I was confused so. It's cos my cat went missing and I phoned round vets; one of them said if the cat wasn't microchipped it could get put down. I assumed they were talking about the DSPCA, who've annoyed me on a couple of occasions, namely refusing to come out to a dog who appeared to be knocked down, and refusing to investigate a possible case of neglect round my way.

 

[classic seanc]

I went down to the receptionist of the factory, I figured that’d be handiest. If a DSPCA van or some cat fanatics rolled around looking for seanc and some kittens, there’d just be confusion like.

So I said “There’s a bunch of kittens outside, about 5 or 6 of them in the yard there”
The receptionist looked at me seriously, intensely.
“Maybe we should call the DSPCA or something?”
She says “Do you think they’re up to something?”



“Emm, well, cat’s are very sneaky I suppose”
“Ohhhhh, kittens! I thought you said kids”



I’ll check back on it later.

 

[jane]

OMG!!1


There’s actually about 5 or six of them. I’ve only seen 3. The lads in the factory next door gave them some food. One is having a ham and cheese sandwich, I think another is sampling the Lasagne.
I asked the HR manager, she said it’s the factory’s problem as the cats are on their property. But she only knows about Human Resources, we don’t have an FR manager.

WHAT? Let me get this straight. Upon hearing that there are a bunch of defenceless newborn animals in the vicinity, the HR manager said, "Not my problem."?

Is there anywhere that puts down HR managers if they aren't rehomed in five days? That'd be well fucking handy.

Seanc, I suggest your first step should be to CUDDLE THEM and then send them to us cute lifestyles folk for more cooing and cuddling and coddling. I promise not to dress them up in tiny Devo costumes.*




















* This might be a lie.

 

[classic seanc]

They hissed at me with their tiny mouths.

 

[Squiggle]

Leave them alone... their mother has probably gone hunting, they do that... and will be back to feed them later. If you take them away there will be one very pissed off and upset mommy cat later.

 

[jane]

They hissed at me with their tiny mouths.

Sounds like you've got a pretty standard HR department there, seanc.

 

[flashback]

We used to find kittens in the garden from this wild cat. I would gather them up, hissing away there, and try and tame them before they went wild too, and then farm them off to people we knew.

I used to leave them sleep out at night though in a shoe box with a towel in it so they could feed off their ma though.

Then Raccoons ate one batch of them, so then we just brought them in, and let them sleep in the comfy shoebox the bath (so they wouldnt hide and shit all over the shop.)
If they dont get used to people when they are really young you will never catch them.

 

[Daisy's Dukes]

You could try them. They are (I hear) a bunch of loonies but they'll make sure the cat is looked after. I'm not sure about DSPCA, they seem like a useless shower altogether whenever I've had dealings with them. And they put strays to sleep if they're not rehomed.

False, they do not put any animal to sleep unless it is beyond medical help. They are packed to the brim up there so they have to prioritise only take animals that are injured, unless they have space, in which case they will take a stray. Technically, the dog warden is responsible for strays.

I volunteer for them and they are AMAZING. People have a lot of misconceptions about them. They are a charity and are not funded by the government, apart from a garnt which most of the animal rescue places get.

They are full with dogs at the moment but I reckon they'd be able to take a kitten.

 

[Scientician 0.8]

I believe Seamus Heaney has a poem for most every occasion


The Early Purges


I was six when I first saw kittens drown.
Dan Taggart pitched them, 'the scraggy wee shits',
Into a bucket; a frail metal sound,

Soft paws scraping like mad. But their tiny din
Was soon soused. They were slung on the snout
Of the pump and the water pumped in.

'Sure, isn't it better for them now?' Dan said.
Like wet gloves they bobbed and shone till he sluiced
Them out on the dunghill, glossy and dead.

Suddenly frightened, for days I sadly hung
Round the yard, watching the three sogged remains
Turn mealy and crisp as old summer dung

Until I forgot them. But the fear came back
When Dan trapped big rats, snared rabbits, shot crows
Or, with a sickening tug, pulled old hens' necks.

Still, living displaces false sentiments
And now, when shrill pups are prodded to drown
I just shrug, 'Bloody pups'. It makes sense:

'Prevention of cruelty' talk cuts ice in town
Where they consider death unnatural
But on well-run farms pests have to be kept down.

 

[evil bandit]

,I think another is sampling the Lasagne.

 

[theweeyin]

They hissed at me with their tiny mouths.

WHAT? Let me get this straight. Upon hearing that there are a bunch of defenceless newborn animals in the vicinity, the HR manager said, "Not my problem."?

Is there anywhere that puts down HR managers if they aren't rehomed in five days? That'd be well fucking handy.

Seanc, I suggest your first step should be to CUDDLE THEM and then send them to us cute lifestyles folk for more cooing and cuddling and coddling. I promise not to dress them up in tiny Devo costumes.*




















* This might be a lie.

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!

 

[flashback]

This is what its like in Jane's head:

To view this content we will need your consent to set third party cookies.
For more detailed information, see our cookies page.

Accept third party cookies

 

[jane]

This is what its like in Jane's head:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xgk9ouBuj-4

Sort of. When I was little, my mom told me there were baby ducks living inside my ears. The only way she could get me to let her clean out my ears was to tell me she was checking on the ducks. I totally believed her.

So you're partly right because there are ducks in that video.

Also, sometimes it's puppies, but they're more into power ballads.

 

[cpr]

ah kittens are great. I remember when Mr Cpr got his kitten and she hissed at her own reflection in the mirror. bless.

 

[whathappen?]

give him a blankey and some water buy some kitten food and leave it for him.then if he is still there in the morning bring him home

 

[Diddles]

Give me kitting (but don't tell HMD). I demand more creatures in the gaff!!!!

 

[classic seanc]

Update on this:

There were 3 kittens altogether. And they’re still here. They’ve made a little home underneath the stairs and just 5 minutes ago the three of them were laid out in a line enjoying the sun.
It seems the factory lads have adopted them and give them food every day, which they take.
They still hiss at me if I get too close, I don't know if anyone else has gained their trust.

The kittens seem healthy and happy.
So like, if they’re as happy as they seem out here, is it best that I leave them here or what? They’re not really mine. They’re not really anyone’s, but they’re *especially* not really mine. Can cat’s can live happily as a family of feral factory mascots?

 

[Denny Oubidoux]

once theyre fed they dont give a fuck.

 

[SONYMEGADRIVE]

Can cat’s can live happily as a family of feral factory mascots?

well they probably shouldn't really be left living feral
seeing as there's already an overpopulation of cats
etc etc

throw em in the sea

 

[Daisy's Dukes]

There are voluntary groups who will catch these guys, spay/neuter them and release them back into the wild. You see the problem is that two cats can eventually produce something mad like 22,000 offspring so really they should either be captured now while young and 'domesticted' or else given the snip to stop them from producing other little un's who may not end up getting fed and watered by nice factory lads!