there are dozens (1 Viewer)

[dudley]

Britain's funniest joke has been revealed after scientists invited 100,000 people to submit gags as part of international research into senses of humour.



A total of 10,000 were sent in to the Laughlab project and it was a joke about Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson that received a top rating from 47 per cent of the people taking part.

The winner

It goes: Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go camping, and pitch their tent under the stars. During the night, Holmes wakes his companion and says: "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce."

Watson says: "I see millions of stars, and even if a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like Earth, and if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life." Holmes replies: "Watson, you idiot. Somebody stole our tent ...

 

[Stuart Little]

One of the funniest jokes ever has to be...

How do you know your da's been ridin' your sister?

I'm sure ye know (or can work out)the rest...

 

[Pantone247]

???

that joke makes me sad.....

 

[dudley]

these are much better

Dyslexic man walks into a bra


A seal walks into a club . . .


i don't get them, mind, but they're much better

 

[joe.]

anyone else nursing a vicious mid-week-'cause-its-christmas type hangover?

damn you porterhouse plain! damn you all to hell!!!!

and I thought it was goin' fine until I sobered up at lunchtime.....

 

[Pantone247]

the Dyslexic Athiest Insomniac, who stayed up all night wondering if theres such thing a dog

or my favourite

Did you hear about the gay magician?
He dissapeared with a Puff

har har!!

real christmas cracker humour....

 

[chriths]

i like this old one (seasonal too!):

luke and darth are having a lightsabre fight and darth goes: "luke, i know what you are getting for christmas..." and luke says: "how father? how could you know?" and darth goes: "i felt your presents"

 

[shambo]

what's the best trait a comedian can have timing

 

[shambo]

from ananova too:

What is red and yellow and looks good on hippies? Fire.

 

[pete]

dudley (20 Dec, 2001 03:52 p.m.):
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go camping, and pitch their tent under the stars. During the night, Holmes wakes his companion and says: "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce."

Watson says: "I see millions of stars, and even if a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like Earth, and if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life." Holmes replies: "Watson, you idiot. Somebody stole our tent ...

That's so pathetic. It's like saying because more people buy The Sun than The Guardian it's automatically a better newspaper.

I'm no statistician, but surely all they've discovered is the lowest common denominator in the 10,000 submissions?

(Incidentally - Three statisticians are out hunting. The first statistician spots a deer and shoots, but his shot misses by 2 feet to the left. So the second statistician shoots, but his shot goes 2 feet to the right. The third statistician shouts "We got him, boys!")

And anyway everyone knows that the best joke ever is the tommy cooper classic

A bloke goes to the doctor, lifts his right arm above his head, and says "Doctor, it hurts whenever I do this."

So the doctor says to him "Well don't do it, then."

 

[seratoza]

I was on my way to work in a cab this morning, and it had a segment on that "Worlds funniest joke" shite, on radio 1. So your man told the joke on the radio, I thought it was fucking dire, but your man who was driving me to work in the cab nearly killed two fucking school kids, he was laughing so much.

 

[Vinnie]

Stuart Little (20 Dec, 2001 02:37 p.m.):
this is on the newmusictv site (regarding the jimmy cake)

...instrumental musical intelligence and cosmically spatial atmospheric
antidotes to urban life....

Vinne? John?
Is this the case?

If so I'm never going to another of your gigs, OR kissing your mother again.

Yeah, we got the antidote but none of you can have it. See what happens when you don't treat me right?

 

[cyclotron]

shambo (20 Dec, 2001 04:18 p.m.):
what's the best trait a comedian can have timing

masterpiece !