I've been sporting a couple of massive love bites this week necessitating that I wear a shirt with a collar. I thought they'd finally gone down enough for me to wear a t-shirt but my mother said to me "I'm worried about those things on your neck, do you think they might be cancerous?"
After seeing a very hungover hickey covered Roisin my mother said
"Whats happened you, your turning into a scumbag Roisin, A SCUMBAG"
The horrible thing is, she really really meant it. I was after upsetting her really badly in a "why the fuck did I move home" argument.
On seeing some council men standing around last week she came out with this....
"Look at him breast feeding a shovel and smoking a fag, with his arse so far out on the road cars are taking the buttons off his pockets.."