Quotes from your parents (3 Viewers)

[Jill Hives]

Your parents are mental. Growing you food and offering help and advice. Madness!

But the zucchini thing is just so out of the blue. That was the full e-mail. No hi, how are you or anything. Just that.

And the DO NOT WALK in caps as if it was and order and bad for my health. The distance from the bus stop to my sister's is the length of Dawson Street. Who the hell would need a car to pick them up? Bizarre.

 

[BonsaiSuperstar]

not exactly my parents but they were in the room when my Aunt rang me today with a Techy Issue (they would have told her to ring me)

She had just bought a new wireless printer. She had installed it and the test page had printed off grand the day before. However today she couldn't print anything and the computer was not picking up the printer.

I asked her was the printer plugged in.
She no it was wireless.
I told her it still needed power to work....
Problem solved.

 

[David Kronenbourg]

my mam called me by the dog's name once

 

[Juno]

(On the phone to my mother who seems to have developed a bad case of the swine pox paranoia)

Her: "Keep away from anyone with a cough"
Me: "I've a bit of a cough myself actually"
Her: "You better wear a mask when I see you tomorrow"

 

[Jill Hives]

On a similar note:

Subject: flu
Maybe you'll get the pig flu and be able stay longer. love mom

 

[Catwoman]

Actual correspondence received today from my mother.

I'm confused - you rub dryer sheets on your skin?

 

[Jill Hives]

I'm confused - you rub dryer sheets on your skin?

Not only good for static cling but it deters (or so they say) mosquitoes and their bites.

 

[MDR]

This is from a few years back:

Sister: I need to drop my car into the garage - it is very stiff going into fifth gear
Mam: Cars don't have five gears
Sister: Your car has five gears

 

[It Will Never Last]

80 year old granny: What's a paedophile?
Me: *scarlah*

Same granny used a rumbrella to keep dry when raining, called my sister's mate nUna and told everybody my mother had been seduced by the doctor when giving birth to my brother.

Grannies are great.

 

[magicbastarder]

I'm confused - you rub dryer sheets on your skin?

or else you get the hose again.

 

[ann post]

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Jill Hives mother again.

 

[Wobbler]

my mam called me by the dog's name once

That breaks my heart.

On a similar note:

Subject: flu
Maybe you'll get the pig flu and be able stay longer. love mom

Awwww

 

[It Will Never Last]

my mam called me by the dog's name once

That's reminded me, my brother used to call me "Pits" when I was but a young one, and my mam called me it once.

 

[F. Fred Palakon]

I'm confused - you rub dryer sheets on your skin?

That's what she said to do, for the mozzies. She also helpfully included some dryer sheets in the envelope.

 

[egg_]

This is from a few years back:

Sister: I need to drop my car into the garage - it is very stiff going into fifth gear
Mam: Cars don't have five gears
Sister: Your car has five gears

My mother-in-law tried fifth gear once ... didn't like it

edit: Actually that sounds like a lame Les Dawson joke, but it is actually The Truth

 

[wild_cat]

A husband of one of my mothers dead distant relatives turned up to the house a couple of months ago to visit. It was a Sunday and my brother and his girlfriend arrived in as he was leaving, I was in the kitchen with my other brother helping with the dinner.

Brother 1: "Jesus I thought he'd never go home."
Mother: "Dont say that he's been very lonely since she died". My mother then turns to my brothers girlfriend and in the most serious voice comes out with...

"Oh you should have seen her, finest woman in the county, the only woman in the county that could wear a hat"

We break into the pisses of laughter. While my brothers girlfriend manages to keep a straight face thinking it couldnt get any worse but she continued with...

"She died from cancer of the forrid"

My brother "Bit ironic that she died from forehead cancer when she was the only woman in the county that could wear a hat".

My mother starts to get really embarrased then as we're doing so much laughing, turns out that what my mother meant was that she had bone cancer.

Fairplay to the brothers girlfriend though, straight face through out

 

[Lili Marlene]

"Oh you should have seen her, finest woman in the county, the only woman in the county that could wear a hat"

eh? what's all this then?

 

[nooleen]

my mam called me by the dog's name once

oh....i thought that was standard

my mum sometimes cycles through the whole family's names, including pets, before she lands on the right one.
"brownie....no, cormy...tom...ah, NOOL - would you toast the hazelnuts for this salad and then get the prosecco out of the freezer? and try to find that cafe de l'art CD, i like that one. thanks love"

 

[Unicron]

http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays

 

[FiFi_LaRue]

I've been readin' that for a while. Some real gold there.