Quotes from your child (1 Viewer)

[pete]

was walking through Tesco with my 2 year old the other day and we ended up going by this halloween toy of a guy in a cage that shouts at you when you walk past it. Bless him but it was the first time I've seen him scared of something like that. Every now and again he keeps saying "Silly man. What was he doing?"

the youngwan insisted on going on the ghost train at the fun fair a couple of weeks ago. within 5 seconds i could tell it wasn't going to go well. comedy gold.

i could not get that camera out fast enough afterwards.

 

[Reets]

"I like how your ears stick out at the top and aren't against your head like mine. "

The little git just called me Dumbo.

 

[Unknown Convict]

no.2 (age 5): "daddy which is worst - getting no sweets for halloween, losing all your loom bands, or death?"

 

[Jill Hives]

Okay not my child but it made me laugh...

During dinner with four people talking...

Mother: [after dripping some food on her chest accidentally] Damn it, my boobs get in the way of everything.
Kid: Even polite dinner conversation. (sigh)

 

[pete]

While dancing at his 2nd birthday party:

"I'M GOING CRAAZZZYYY"

 

[Reets]

Nice and anonymous Jill Hives

 

[Cornu Ammonis]

no.2 (age 5): "daddy which is worst - getting no sweets for halloween, losing all your loom bands, or death?"

It's no sweets, right?

 

[Unknown Convict]

It's no sweets, right?

correct. sweets + death is preferable to no sweets + life. this same child puked up foaming sherbet, half a flog and some spicy nik naks within an hour of the above.

 

[RayRay]

My Da informed me that he never capped my Halloween sweet intake and it alway led to puking. He was amazed that i never learned from the previous year

 

[nooleen]

i think i only ever did that once

 

[Reets]

"I think Secondary is way easier than Primary School".

Sometimes having a kid is like a slow moving car crash.

 

[sleepy]

My Da informed me that he never capped my Halloween sweet intake and it alway led to puking. He was amazed that i never learned from the previous year

I was thinking that when my 2 are old enough I'd probably do the same. Let them eat so much that they get sick and never want to do it again. But then I remembered that the last time I went on the piss I had to get the taxi home to pull over so I could throw up. So I figure if I'm not smart enough to learn this lesson in my 30s I probably can't expect them to either

 

[pete]

Sitting on the floor, with his face covered in pizza sauce, when i told him i had to turn off the film so he could go to bed

"MORE STAR WARS! MORE STAR WARS!"

That's my boy.

 

[nooleen]

it won't be so cute when he's 35

 

[HMD]

Last night i was trying his light out and he half wakes up and asks for a drink of water. I return with the water, he takes a drink still half asleep. I say night son, he says "Peace out" and goes back to sleep

FFS

 

[sleepy]

it won't be so cute when he's 35

So I can still get away with it for another 2 years

 

[Reets]

Me: It's really nice that you picked a picture of me holding the cat to go in your frame for your schools open day, but eh is any other one you could have used?
Eve: Oh it's ok mammy, people probably just thought you had a pillow up your top.

Fuck This Shit!!

 

[7 - No tomorrow]

Kid: Even polite dinner conversation. (sigh)

This is a sharp kid.

 

[Diddles]

"Joy to the world, our Lord's not real"

HMB's take on the classic Christmas carol.

 

[Squiggle]

Walked in the door yesterday evening to find small boy kneeling on the sofa pouring water from his water bottle on it and himself.
*looks up, still pouring water on the sofa*
"Hiya Mommy! Mommy's home! (to his Dad in the kitchen)"
Me "What are you doing?"
Him... still pouring water "Wet knees!"
Me "stop pouring out your water"
him "Wet knees, wateron couch" (he always tacks 'on' onto the end of the word)

And tonight... pointing at my glass of wine
"wantsome"
"no, you can't have some wine"
"wantsome, little bit"
"no, no wine for you"
"just little bit... wantsome"