Quotes from your child (1 Viewer)

[Unknown Convict]

"have you got PE today?"
"yeah, we're doing skipping. [pause] maybe we can skip maths."

 

[CinnamonBoy]

The young lad is off to Poland with his ma soon so he was showing me his suitcase.

Me: "Oh, that's a cool suitcase. Where are you going on holiday?"
Him: *looks out window, points up at sky*, "up there".

 

[HMD]

Dad, if you believe in Jesus are you British?

 

[pete]

Driving somewhere the other morning, a container of fruit gets wedged in the door pocket thing. The kid gets more and more frustrated as she can't wiggle it free, with me trying to pacify her saying "it's ok, it's ok -nothing to freak out about" which - naturally - makes things much worse.

"look, we'll be there in a minute"
[loud] "it's STUCK. it's STUCK!"

"just hang on, ok?"
[louder still, crying now] "But i want to eat my fruit and I can't get it out!!"

"we'll be there in a few minutes! just hang on i'll get it for you!"
[near hysterics]"BUT YOUR SAUSAGE FINGERS ARE TOO BIG"

 

[dudley]

after leaving a birthday party in a play centre

".....i can't live like this anymore"

She's 4......

 

[snakybus]

"I love him more than a thousand banjos"

"She has big lips. And she's weird, she puts ketchup on her scrambled eggs" - reasons for not being friends with someone.

 

[pete]

"I want to vote for Mary Fitzgerald"
"Well you're not old enough to vote... but why do you want to vote for her?"
"I like her hair."
"That's not really a good reason to vote for someone."
"Why not?"
"Well, you should vote for people who'll promise to do good things for the community"
"Like stopping the priests?"

 

[Jim Daniels]

"I love him more than a thousand banjos"

Best compliment ever!

 

[Anthony]

"I can burp 'Hail Satan'"

 

[mark]

Was explaining to the young lad that all the silly posters with faces will be disappearing from the poles over the next few days. He sits there thinking for a sec, then

"Will they be going into space?"
​

He has the right idea anyway.

 

[dudley]

"Is it called the weekend, because the week is over?"
"Yes"
"Amn't I clever?!"

 

[David Kronenbourg]

A parent of one of the boys in my niece’s creche is a fireman so he came in today to chat with the kids about his job. At the end of the talk, he apparently fielded some general fire related queries from the kids. My sister was delighted to hear that my niece had contributed to the Q&A session, that is until she heard the question she required an answer to.

'What will happen if I eat my own brain?'

 

[mark]

"Dada, I'm not ever going to die am I?"

Shite. That question was immediately follwed visitors walking into the house so I actually didn't have to answer it. Not sure what I would have said as it caught me totally off guard. He's 4, I don't want t bullshit him, but I don't want to lie either.

Anybody faced this one before? What did you say?

 

[Squiggle]

Faced it with my niece and gave her the same answer my Dad gave us, and we'll give L the same answer when he eventually asks it.

"Yes, every living thing dies in time, but you have your whole lifetime to live first."

 

[nooleen]

"yes, but me and your mum/dad will probably die first"

 

[mark]

"Yes, every living thing dies in time, but you have your whole lifetime to live first."

Ok, that's good. I was thinking I nice gentle way of explaining it would be to show him some snuff porn, but I reckon this will probably be better.

 

[dudley]

Tell him 'yes, but it's ok because of Jesus and stuff'

 

[pete]

"Dada, I'm not ever going to die am I?"

Shite. That question was immediately follwed visitors walking into the house so I actually didn't have to answer it. Not sure what I would have said as it caught me totally off guard. He's 4, I don't want t bullshit him, but I don't want to lie either.

Anybody faced this one before? What did you say?

Just lie.

 

[Squiggle]

Just lie.

COWARD! Plus, you're not going to fool them with lies.

 

[Squiggle]

We're watching a program about animals.
ST "elephant, *trumps like elephant*"
me "yes, elephant"
Squiggletoddler "Monkey, ooh ooh"
Me "yes monkey, are you a monkey?" (his daddy often calls him a little monkey)
ST "No, I a LION RAWWWWWR!"