My child is doing my fucking head in (1 Viewer)

[jonah]

Oh and I should say, we are now managing to get her into her cosleeper at night. Rock to sleep, transfer in, she wake twice to feed, and wakes around 7 so since my woe post, things are slightly better

 

[Anthony]

Excuse the ignorance, what is sleep training?

 

[jonah]

Excuse the ignorance, what is sleep training?

Its actually a fairly divisive subject, as I'm sure most parenting things are. Its basically teaching your baby to self settle so they can sleep through the night/nap longer, etc. You've probably heard of people doing "cry it out" where they let the baby cry in the cot at bedtime for x amount of time for x amount of days etc., and eventually baby learns to settle themselves. There are LOADS of other methods, and some don't involve crying, but that's basically it.

On the flipside, lots of more attachment style parenting folks say that sleep training is essentially teaching baby that you won't respond, and there's not enough evidence to say it actually helps babies sleep better, rather, it stops them signaling to you that they're awake. They'd be really against sleep training and say every baby is different and will learn to sleep when they are developmentally ready. IDK, I have no expertise at all, but generally speaking have surprised myself by being a very attached parent, so will probably end up with a baby that never sleeps, breastfeeding her til shes 20, but yolo.

 

[jonah]

Excuse the ignorance, what is sleep training?

Also, I saw you walking a really pretty dog last week when driving with my mam.

 

[Cornu Ammonis]

equally I know in a few months I'll miss this so much

It feels like it will never end and suddenly you’ll think “Jaysus, remember a month ago she wouldn’t lie down on her own? I miss that…”

My youngest started crèche last week so I’m walking around the house with no one to cuddle. I keep picking up the middle child (who was 4 today) and snuggling him and he’s all “Fuck off, I want to watch Bluey”.

 

[Anthony]

Its actually a fairly divisive subject, as I'm sure most parenting things are. Its basically teaching your baby to self settle so they can sleep through the night/nap longer, etc. You've probably heard of people doing "cry it out" where they let the baby cry in the cot at bedtime for x amount of time for x amount of days etc., and eventually baby learns to settle themselves. There are LOADS of other methods, and some don't involve crying, but that's basically it.

On the flipside, lots of more attachment style parenting folks say that sleep training is essentially teaching baby that you won't respond, and there's not enough evidence to say it actually helps babies sleep better, rather, it stops them signaling to you that they're awake. They'd be really against sleep training and say every baby is different and will learn to sleep when they are developmentally ready. IDK, I have no expertise at all, but generally speaking have surprised myself by being a very attached parent, so will probably end up with a baby that never sleeps, breastfeeding her til shes 20, but yolo.

Thanks.
We used to just keep them awake as long as possible. Their afternoon naps were cut out pretty early. They used to hate us in the creche, all the other kids would be asleep except ours.

Then the second hated creche so much he'd just sleep (or cry) all day long.

 

[jonah]

God fair play to you, if she's awake for longer than two hours she has a meltdown. But she's pretty young still so I guess that's normal.

 

[ann post]

My sibling who's been a nurse for years had a kid recently and they are so used to nursing that it's barely visible that they are living with a newb. We all resent this of course, even us (me) who don't have kids.

 

[nuke terrorist]

It feels like it will never end and suddenly you’ll think “Jaysus, remember a month ago she wouldn’t lie down on her own? I miss that…”

My youngest started crèche last week so I’m walking around the house with no one to cuddle. I keep picking up the middle child (who was 4 today) and snuggling him and he’s all “Fuck off, I want to watch Bluey”.

''But I didn't give you consent Daddy! Stop behaving like part the ageist adult hegemony, like!''

 

[Cornu Ammonis]

''But I didn't give you consent Daddy! Stop behaving like part the ageist adult hegemony, like!''

In fairness, consent is a big part of our parenting and teaching them how to interact with their siblings and friends.

 

[egg_]

In fairness, consent is a big part of our parenting and teaching them how to interact with their siblings and friends.

Is it? Consent for hugs, for example?

 

[Cornu Ammonis]

Is it? Consent for hugs, for example?

Consent for a lot of things, hugs tend to be reciprocated but if the kids don’t want to give a hug or a kiss to us or a relative, we never force it (“But it’s your granny!” isn’t more important than their personal agency or space.)

 

[nuke terrorist]

Consent for a lot of things, hugs tend to be reciprocated but if the kids don’t want to give a hug or a kiss to us or a relative, we never force it (“But it’s your granny!” isn’t more important than their personal agency or space.)

yeah the joke I told above was originally went ''Fuck off Granny - I didn't give you consent!''

if kids don't want to play sport, go to mass or learn piano...

All my life I hear adults tell stories about very personal things happening in their household.
and sometimes intimate things about children they think are funny but should never gone outside their house.

if a child said: ''my folks got up late / argue regularly / drank a lot / have noisy sex / hate the neighbours / watch porn / have bad hygiene / rarely clean the house / watched Normal People / listen to Tom Dunne / eat McDonald's takeaways everyday / only pretend to be catholic/atheist...''
this is probably not going to go down well with adults even if it's all true.

 

[Cornu Ammonis]

Ok?

 

[egg_]

if a child said: ''my folks got up late / argue regularly / drank a lot / have noisy sex / hate the neighbours / watch porn / have bad hygiene / rarely clean the house / watched Normal People / listen to Tom Dunne / eat McDonald's takeaways everyday / only pretend to be catholic/atheist...''
this is probably not going to go down well with adults even if it's all true.

You think kids don't tell stories about their dopey parents to their friends? Don't you remember being a kid?

edit: Quotes from your parents

 

[nuke terrorist]

You think kids don't tell stories about their dopey parents to their friends? Don't you remember being a kid?

edit: Quotes from your parents

the adults are worse and should know better. the adults are guardians not the other way around. the worst I said about my folks was ''they got up late'' or ''they smacked me''.

often thumped parents don't have great self awareness or sense of humour about parenting.
discuss

 

[egg_]

the worst I said about my folks was ''they got up late'' or ''they smacked me''.

That's far from the worst I said about my folks. I'd say you are unusual in this respect.

often thumped parents don't have great self awareness or sense of humour about parenting.
discuss

Some of my dearest friends are not parents, and despite my love for them I neither know nor care about anything they have to say about parenting. Obvs I care even less about what you think. Sorry dude.

 

[nuke terrorist]

That's far from the worst I said about my folks. I'd say you are unusual in this respect.


Some of my dearest friends are not parents, and despite my love for them I neither know nor care about anything they have to say about parenting. Obvs I care even less about what you think. Sorry dude.

OK. I don't rate myself and know I would be a terrible parent which isn't on the agenda anyway. I'd like to think I can put my ideas into words or admit I have blind spots.

not talking about you here egg but it's always good to remember that a delusional person doesn't know they are wrong. and everybody is delusional about something.

 

[egg_]

not talking about you here egg but it's always good to remember that a delusional person doesn't know they are wrong. and everybody is delusional about something.

Heh well indeed. I'm wrong about stuff all the time ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

[nuke terrorist]

a good friend had her first baby yesterday (girl) and let me know before 6 am.
she and her husband will be top whack parents when they get to grip with the whole malarkey.

had a good think yesterday about things egg and cornu said yesterday afterwards.
a lot of this thread is outside my experience and I have no reference for.
my perception of other folks mostly ups and downs with their children is going to be different. something that seems like self congratulatory Dad rockers is actually just people being excited about their family - the most important thing in their life. if someone goes on about their kids a LOT it's generally a great sign.
parents will know their partners and kids boundaries and respect that etc.
hugs are great for bonding and kids love them. and if they're not into it that's OK too.

the only time I remember giving a negative reaction on thumped was someone getting a 'meh' for over doing it criticising 'Birth Strikers'.
while my own folks and I aren't particularly close, I would trust them to a very high level because in 26 years since I was 19 they have treated me very well and built up huge credit with me.

the 'meeting people' thread is another one that severely tempts me to take the piss. basically a person posting a dating website profile rates themselves much more highly than I rate myself.

all those adverts with folks aged 32/33 related to babies used to really annoy me when I was that age. we're overwhelmed with a family values view of adult life and generally speaking me presenting minority view isn't bad.